Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
Okay, okay, I admit it. Once in a while, I get something wrong.
Like one year ago today, when I wrote this:
I see Merry is twittering and I thought I might give that a go. I can’t actually think how it would be useful, but that’s never stopped me before
Ahem.
We bought a car.
Well, we’ve almost bought it. I’ve initiated the money transfer for it, and we should be picking it up on Saturday - in the evening, because we’re having a birthday party for Freddy in the afternoon. His birthday’s today, but he has friends who *shock* go to school, so the party’s on Saturday.
But first, the usual what-we’ve-been-doing catch-up.
As mentioned, Barney had the first bit of his French GCSE on Wednesday of last week. We drove home on Wednesday evening, Barney having decided that it was worth missing Scouts to get to spend some time with his friends. On Thursday there wasn’t a lot of activity around here - I was much, much too tired. Barney went to the youth-club in the evening, but it closed early because there were too few people there. Scratchy had taken the car to go deliver our no-longer-needed bunk-beds to another freecycling home-ed family, so he couldn’t collect Barney. I arranged for a taxi to bring him home and be paid by cheque on arrival.
On Friday morning we cleared floors so that the charity-shop people could come in and collect a sofa-bed - the pick-up was arranged a week earlier. The sofa-bed needs recovered, or at least a throw over it, and I’d told them all its faults on the phone and been assured it would be fine. So I was mighty annoyed when they looked at it and said they wouldn’t take it. Had they told me that on the phone, I wouldn’t have been bothered. Grrr.
Saturday morning was spent clearing out Jack’s room, which is also now Toby’s room - his toys and clothes are in there, and he’s mostly been sleeping in there too. We got it to a reasonable state before I collapsed in a heap. I decided to have a bath, but as I started to run the water, I realised there was no plug - it was attached to the bath with a chain the last time I’d looked! I called all the boys and told them nobody was going anywhere or doing anything until it was returned; Jack promptly ‘fessed up and said it was under his pillow. It’s perhaps a sign of age, or perhaps a sign of the number of children I have, that I didn’t even ask why, but just gratefully accepted its return.
On Sunday morning Scratchy looked at my middle and asked if I was about to fall over. I considered hitting him, but decided that a) he had a point, and b) if I tried to swipe him, I might, er, fall over…
We spent most of Sunday outside, including some time with a power-washer cleaning all the bits and pieces for the garden. Just how do they get so dirty over the winter? It doesn’t even seem to matter if they were left out or put away. Sunday evening was very hot and sticky, and I lay in bed wishing we’d a ceiling-fan. I’m a big fan (sorry) of them; they make a tremendous difference and are much cheaper and greener than air-conditioning. I looked at some on-line and talked Scratchy into it; his only real objection was that he’d have to install it, so he hadn’t much of a chance of winning.
On Monday, Freddy was supposed to go to ju-jitsu and Barney was supposed to go to Air Cadets, but there were so much grumpiness around dinner-time that I sent everyone to bed instead. Scratchy spent hours trying to install the ceiling-fan he’d picked up at lunchtime, but couldn’t get it working. On Tuesday morning he phoned the manufacturer’s help-line and explained the problem, only to be told he seemed to have “got a dud”, and should get it exchanged where he’d bought it. Also on Monday, I phoned about a car that was advertised…and then on Tuesday, drove out to my friend K’s house, where I’d arranged to stay over so that I would not be driving 280ish miles in one day. K’s children were at school when we arrived, and didn’t know we were coming - and when she picked them up, she didn’t mention we were there. They figured it out when they saw our car in the driveway, then ran through the house to find us in the garden. C, her oldest, punched the air and yelled “Yes!”, and J, the next-oldest, ran around in circles shouting something that sounded like “Wagga wagga wagga!” Barney leaned towards me and said into my ear, “Do you think they saw us?” 
The car turned out to be worth the drive; we’ve decided to go for it. The guy selling it brought it to K’s house for me to see - which was a round-trip of between 80 and 90 miles for him - I know I’d driven further, but still, it was nice of him. The car is as the ad says, except the mileage is slightly lower than advertised (first time for everything!) and it has lots of extras that weren’t mentioned. It’s in very good condition. After I’d driven it, K took it out for a test on the country roads (very country - the kind where you breathe in going around the corners because you’re not actually sure they’re wide enough), and it took about 15 minutes for her to get out of the driving seat when she came back. I said that Scratchy was no help in making a decision, because he just said “It’s up to you”, but that I knew K would give me her opinion. K, still in the driving seat, said, “Buy it!”
I told the seller I’d sleep on it - I was already fairly sure, but I’d rather feel completely satisfied when spending thousands of pounds! Next morning, I phoned the insurance brokers. Since we’re going to be a two-car family again, one of the vehicles has to be insured in Scratchy’s name - and we’d a claim in his name last year (the exploding Peugeot). At that time, we asked if it was worth claiming or if the impact on our premiums would be too much, and were told “oh no, it won’t make much difference”. Yesterday, the story was different: “Oh, that makes it very difficult…” - and a quote twice the amount it would have otherwise been. I’m glad of those on-line comparison websites, because after going through one of those, we got a quote of about £10 more than we’d have been paying if it was insured in my name.
Phoned the seller, agreed to buy the car. I met him later on and got all the details I needed for payment and getting insurance sorted out, then drove home. In the evening I lay on my bed and sent text-messages to people to invite their kids to Freddy’s birthday party. I used to be so much more organised: we had proper invitations, delivered by hand/post/email, at least two or three weeks in advance. Now you get a text-message three days beforehand 
The advantage of doing all this when you’re already completely exhausted is that you end up so knackered that you actually sleep for the first time in months. Four hours in a row, that’s what I got last night. It might not sound much to some of you, but it was obviously a shock to my system, because I actually had a bit of energy today. I used it to run errands. I tried to take the boys to Burger King for lunch (Freddy likes Burger King, and it’s his birthday, after all) - but when we got to the counter to order, we were told they had no burgers. I asked what was the point in being open. “We’ve got chicken,” they said. Huh. I thought they were Burger King. It really must take some feat of incompetent management to actually run out of burgers when your job involves running a burger joint. We ended up at Pizza Hut instead; Freddy made do 
We came home after the errands and sat in the garden in the sun. Whilst sitting out there, I was very pleased to see Molly, a cat who used to live with us (you can’t ever really say “my cat”). She moved out in late 2006 or early 2007, and we’ve caught occasional glimpses of her since. Today she came walking across the top of the fence beside me and even let me stand up and pet her briefly before moving on. She looks healthy and well, so clearly she’s getting whatever she needs from somewhere, which is good to know 
Scratchy came home and installed the replacement ceiling-fan, and it all works, which I think supports the manufacturer’s conclusion about the first one. I asked Barney if he’d like to mow the back lawn and he groaned; Freddy promptly volunteered, but once he’d started, it was quickly apparent that it was going to take him the rest of the summer, so I ended up taking over. If, after that, this baby doesn’t arrive tonight, I think I might have to resign myself to waiting to mid-July *sigh*
Apart from my ranty blog of yesterday evening, I haven’t written a proper blog-post in ages, so here is a rundown of the highlights/lowlights/midlights/whatever. I should note that in creating this post, my memory has been greatly aided by Twitter
We returned to the vet on Valentine’s Day so that Andie could also be spayed. We couldn’t book both dogs on the same day, as the practice only does one spay a day - that way they can do it first thing in the morning and keep a close eye on the dog all day in the office. We figured it was no bad thing to spay our two a few days apart anyway, to let us make a fuss of them individually, but both recovered very quickly so it wasn’t really necessary.
While Andie was at the vet, we went off to the shops. We’d a book-token to spend - given to one of the kids so long ago that I couldn’t even remember whose it was - so they shared it. It took a Very Long Time to make a selection, and in the end I spent the last bit of it on a book of my own choice: Michael Morpurgo’s Alone on a Wide Wide Sea
We also all had our eyes tested. Barney didn’t need a new prescription, but got new glasses anyway, given the state of his old ones. What the optician doesn’t know is that the new ones will be in just as bad a state as the old ones within a week. In fact in the car on the way home, he asked if his new ones were lopsided - he’s been wearing a lopsided pair for so long that “straight” feels wrong We talked about him getting contact lenses, as he would like to go back to fencing but doesn’t like doing it without his glasses, and you can’t wear glasses with the face-mask. He’s too young for wearing contacts all the time, but if it’s a couple of hours once or twice a week, it could be do-able. None of the others needs glasses, although Jack has a mild astigmatism. I’ve had perfect vision ever since having laser surgery about seven years ago, but now my age is showing, and I’m very slightly long-sighted. No reading-glasses needed yet, but I was pre-warned that I’d probably need them in another two or three years. Just what you need a couple of weeks before your 40th birthday: to be reminded that you’re getting old 
Toby added Bananaphone to his repertoire.
And my friend whose heart surgery went all wrong a few weeks ago underwent the second attempt, which appears to have been very successful
On Friday we had someone come and look at the garden, figuring we probably couldn’t afford to pay someone to do it but we might as well ask and find out. We were right the first time. It looks like we’re sorting it out ourselves. Now we just need a few weeks without rain to allow it to dry out enough to dig and roll flat, before putting down turf. Seed would be cheaper, but would take a lot longer to establish, and we’d really like to be able to use it this summer. So Saturday found Scratchy out there in his wellies, accompanied by various children at different times, some of whom were more useful than others.
Monday was a crazy day, but I’ve already written about most of it here, so no real need to go over that again! One amusing moment (rather than hair-pulling-out moment) was when Toby was having lunch - pizza and bananas - and singing, “Hit me baby one more time”.
Toby continued his unbearable cutess on Tuesday morning, sitting on Barney’s lap while he did his French and repeating everything he said. Later he was heard yelling at Jack in the kitchen: “Jack! Open! Bananaaaaa!” Yes, I think he’s definitely turned into a talking child now.
Yesterday was another one of those up-and-out-early days, completely unnecessarily, as recounted here. After leaving the office and sitting in the car shouting and crying down the phone at a friend and Scratchy, I drove back across the city so that Barney could be fitted with contact lenses for fencing. Unfortunately it turns out he can’t put anything in his eyes. In fact, he can’t even open his eyes if he suspects there’s a finger anywhere near his eyelids, so contact lenses are a non-starter, for now at least. He’s going to practise poking himself in the eye for a few months before giving it another try.
While he was at the optician’s, I walked down the main shopping street of the town with the others. Now for this bit, you need a bit of back-story. We used to live in that town, and three of my children were born there. One of the reasons I started considering a homebirth when I was expecting George was that the local maternity unit was so completely, absolutely, dire. The local Supervisor of Midwives actively discourages homebirth - she spent three hours in my home trying to talk me out of it, mostly talking rubbish about the dangers and describing physiological processes that could not actually happen. She lied to the National Childbirth Trust about local homebirth rates, multiplying the true figure by 50 - yes, it’s that bad that it could be multiplied by 50 and still sound low. She tried to intimidate me by threatening to remove care. The local maternity unit, despite having no SCBU and therefore taking no high-risk cases, has a similar c-section rate to the next nearest unit, which takes the highest-risk cases from the entire population. The unit is old, dirty and insecure. I’ve witnessed a baby removed (by a visitor) from the nursery and the fact not even being noticed for more than two hours. Confidentiality is non-existent. And so on…
Yesterday morning it was announced that the unit is to close in about a year. As a result, there was a news journalist and cameraman out on the street, looking for people to give their reactions. Well, when they saw me coming - visibly pregnant and accompanied by four children - they probably thought they were in line for an early finish and a long lunch. Unfortunately my response was not of the “shocked, appalled that they’re taking this service away” kind that they were expecting. Instead it was of the “good riddance, it should have been closed years ago, it’s probably the worst unit in the country” type… Scratchy is well-aware of my feelings on this particular unit (and shares them) and when I phoned him to tell him about being stopped, he roared with laughter 
After our errands and meeting up with Barney, we went to our usual all-you-can-eat pizza-and-pasta buffet for lunch, where we always get our money’s worth During the meal, Freddy and George educated me about the different kinds of knights in the Middle Ages and what the various protocols involved. Then they all inspected and discussed the restaurant’s fire safety system. But when Freddy started to pretend to unzip his forehead and announced, “I’m a Slitheen“, I decided that was as far as I was willing to let that particular discussion go
We’d a quick playground visit before collecting Scratchy, then I left everyone at home while I took Cassie back to the vet’s to get her stitches removed. Soon after getting home, I went to bed - but the day wasn’t over for George, who was part of the team at the County Cub Quiz. Our team came third and George arrived home very tired, but happy
That’s how many bits of lego I picked up today. But being the forgiving person I am, I still had a play with this after seeing Tim’s version - if I’d the energy I might have done the entire family
George and Freddy’s room looks great, apart from the three boxes of stuff I need to go through (mostly photos, I think). I do feel a bit sorry for Freddy: I think he’s naturally a much tidier person than George (which wouldn’t be difficult!) but he has to put up with sharing with either George (messy) or Jack (not quite so messy but very talkative).
I’ve gone through Jack’s room too - that was on the agenda for tomorrow, but there was so much stuff distributed between the two rooms (like lego!) that it didn’t make any sense to leave it. I’ve also moved Toby’s toys from my room into Jack’s room, and I might move his clothes in there tomorrow too; he’ll eventually sleep in there, so I might as well shift some stuff out of my space.
I’ve also gone through their clothes and put away the summer stuff - very little of which was worn this year - and quite a lot of their remaining clothes. I’ve decided to be really severe about how much clothing I allow them - they all have far more than they need (which is weird, because I buy them very little) and it just adds to the mess. They’ve each got five pairs of trousers left (including at least one pair of jeans, one pair of sweats and one slightly dressier item), five short-sleeved tees, three long-sleeved shirts, four sweaters and four pairs of pyjamas. They did get to choose what they kept out within those limits, but I really hope this improves things with regard to mess and laundry. I’m not sure if the quantities are right, but I can always add or take away if necessary. Just the small stuff to go now - socks, underwear, hats, gloves - argh, I’m too tired to think about it right now.
One question though: why hasn’t anyone invented a battery compartment cover that doesn’t get lost?
Everyone’s awake. Everyone’s had breakfast. My Japanese teens now know the words “bread”, “pancakes” and “bagels”.
I found the Usborne First Thousand Words book - a large picture for each theme (shopping, food, playground, etc) surrounded by smaller drawings of various items, with the word underneath each. I thought if they could point to things, it might help. I’m not sure they’ve understood that all they have to do is point, though; I think at least one of them thinks he has to learn all the words…
I did finally get across the meaning of “What do you want to do today?” They conferred for a minute, then answered, “Drink milk.” Ho-kay. They did that.
We got out an atlas and showed them where they are, and they showed us where they come from. Small town near Tokyo. Don’t ask me for more detail.
Freddy told them the Japanese words he’s learned from doing ju-jitsu. They appeared baffled as to why this child was reciting a list of words at them: gi, sensei, obi… I found photos of him in his gi, and they said “Ah, judo!” I agreed. It was easier that way
They know the word “google”. They appeared excited when they saw my laptop - a Toshiba. Okay, they’ve travelled a long way; familiar is good.
I showed them photographs of where we’re going tomorrow. I also showed them photos of the castle, and asked if they’d like to go there today - much nodding and “oh yes” (hey, two new words!) They also looked at photos of the giant chess game and said “Harry Potter!” Seeking other activities, I showed them more photos from this blog. This afternoon, they want to go ten-pin bowling.
They know the word “Playstation”. So that’s what they’re doing now.
Jack wanted to draw a picture, so he got out the coloured pens and sat at the table. He drew seven faces on the page, each a different colour. Then he set about deciding which face represented which family member - an unconventional approach to portraits, admittedly. He had a considered basis for each choice though, such as “This one is George because it’s blue and he likes blue.”
My favourite reason: “I’ll say this one is me, because it’s the happiest.”
As mentioned, we had a great day yesterday…at least for as long as we were at the aquarium. The drive home, however, was another matter. An incident on the motorway earlier in the day resulted in the closure of three of the main motorways around the city, and total chaos throughout the city. Stretches of road that would normally take about a minute, even in rush-hour, were taking 35 minutes or more to travel. We stopped to get some food for everyone in the hope that things would ease up, but no such luck. If I hadn’t had to make it back for Beavers, we’d have given up and spent the evening somewhere close - but we had arranged to take the Beavers on a trip to a police station and I was supposed to transporting some of the boys. The police sent a bus for us, but we had more Beavers than there were seats on the bus. After some frustrated phone-calls as I sat in traffic, I got hold of one of the Cub leaders and she agreed to go on the bus so my co-leader at Beavers could drive. I still had to go to the police station though, since I had one of the Beavers (Freddy), and, as it turned out, George and Jack came too. By the time I got to the police station, a journey that should have been less than two hours had taken more than five hours - and I still had an hour in the station followed by another half hour in the car to get home. The Beavers all had a good time at the police station though, and it became the joke du jour to get on the loudspeaker system in the police jeep and shout that I was under arrest - so one of the policemen said, “We’ll be needing these then” and slapped some handcuffs on me Then it got even worse - he took them off again
Woke up this morning feeling completely shattered and with a heavy cold, but struggled through the morning with the help of several cups of tea, then left them all to entertain themselves after lunch while I went back to bed with Toby. Henry had a difficult start to the day - we sat down with his English book and got as far as the first sentence before he rushed from the room sobbing “I need a minute”. I found him crying in the living-room; he said he’d had nightmares last night about going back to France. I already knew he wasn’t keen to going back to school, but he said there were “lots of things” he wasn’t looking forward to, and sobbed, “It’s too good here!” He also said he had a nightmare about something bad happening to the other boys and us. It’s good that he feels such a bond with us, and that he’s enjoyed his time here so much, but I really hadn’t thought until now about how hard it must be for a child to leave a family after spending six months with them. There is so much involved in an exchange; it’s such a learning process for all of us.
Cubs for George and Scouts for Barney and Henry this evening - they’ve only got two more Scout meetings before they fly off to France 
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Barney went off to Scout Camp last night, as I mentioned yesterday. He isn’t due home until tomorrow. But this isn’t an ordinary Scout Camp: boys from many different packs camp together, and during the day they’re bussed off in groups (each group a mixture of boys from all the packs) to different locations to participate in a variety of activities.
Barney was bussed to our local leisure centre 
Scratchy went to play basketball there this afternoon, and was a bit surprised to hear someone yell over the balcony “Hey! Daddy!”
He’s having a good time, apparently. Scratchy says he has bags under his eyes (heh, it’s the second day of Scout Camp, of course he does LOL), but he’s enjoying himself
The others have mostly just hung out today, though George did some maths (measurements) this afternoon, and Freddy learned to tell the time. Yep, just like that. He had a vague idea of it being “something o’clock” when the big hand was at 12, but didn’t get that the small hand decided the “something”; now he’s got it all figured out, in both digital and analogue form. I sat about, since I can’t really walk yet; my foot is feeling better, though looking worse as the bruising increases. Toby also has a pretty bad bruise on the back of his head, though it doesn’t seem to be bothering him. Jack complained of a sore stomach this morning, brightened throughout the day, but got very whiny and pathetic and flushed around dinner-time. He made a valiant effort to eat, but only managed a very small amount of rice and a tiny bit of ice-cream before falling into bed. His breathing sounds a bit laboured now, but he’s asleep - probably the best thing for him.
The ice-cream came from the ice-cream van - they finally made it. Every night this week we’ve heard the chimes while we ate dinner - except for Wednesday, when they all stood at the door waiting, and it never came! But tonight it arrived just as we were finishing up - and I’ve never seen Freddy move so fast He bought ice-creams for himself and George, and they each gave a little bit to Jack. I don’t like to think about what Barney will do when he finds out they made it while he was away, after all that waiting
About three months ago, Barney and I were having a chat as we walked into town, and I asked him what was the best thing in his life right then. His reply was “Toby”. Then I asked him what was the worst thing in his life right then, and his reply was “Jack”. It’s certainly true that Jack has been driving most of us up the walls for a while now - not through anything terrible, just normal four-year-old testosterone-induced behaviour.* And if there’s one person he’s been driving nuts more than any of the rest of us, it’s definitely Barney, who is old enough to want the privacy and peace that Jack just won’t/can’t give him right now, but not old enough to always be understanding (heck, I’m not that old), and is, of course, experiencing some hormone fluctuations of his own.
So I was more than a little surprised today to find Barney pleading Jack’s case
I could see that Jack was in one of his getting-into-everything moods, so I was trying to keep him where I could see - or at least hear - him. But I can’t be everywhere at once (I know, I’m a failure as a mother) and when Jack needed to use the bathroom, Toby was falling asleep at the breast, and the downstairs bathroom was in use, so Jack went off upstairs. You can see what’s coming, can’t you? He Got Into Something. Today, “something” was my make-up.
I don’t have a lot of make-up - my going-out routine consists of swiping a powder-brush over my face and putting on a bit of mascara. If I’m really dressing up, I might add some lippy. Mostly, washing my face is about as far as it goes. But like most women I know, I do have a bag of tricks even if I rarely use them.
There are fewer tricks now than there were this morning.
As I stormed around my bathroom, replacing lids and washing the outsides of containers, Barney came upstairs and said, “Don’t be angry with him.” “Why not?!” I said, in a slightly-less-than-completely-calm voice. “Just don’t be angry with him,” said Barney. I stopped. “Hold it… you’re sticking up for Jack?” “Yeah,” he said, “It’s called taking pity on him.”
I told Jack off - of course I did. But I didn’t sound very fierce about it
( *Did you know that boys have a testosterone surge at about the age of four? I don’t know why parents of boys aren’t warned about it. Their levels of that particular hormone double - and that has a huge effect on their behaviour. Their bodies are screaming at them, “Run! Jump! Move! Shout! Climb! Yell!” - and what do we as a society do with boys of this age? Put them in school and tell them to sit quietly and listen. Yeah, right. Fortunately the testosterone levels fall back down after a few months, and never get that high again until they hit puberty. If you have a boy in your life who’ll soon be four, just watch.)
So shouldn’t you be making the most of it instead of clicking that mouse?
The “Mosquito” is a sound unit which “uses complex high frequency sound to chase away those annoying teenagers!!!” The sound is not generally audible to people over 20, whose hearing is not as acute, but is irritating to teens. The idea is that it can be played in shops and shopping centres to discourage teenage troublemakers from spending time there. Of course there’s some pretty offensive stereotyping there, but it seems they underestimated said teenagers anyway, because the sound was promptly hijacked and turned into a mobile phone ringtone - which allowed pupils to hear their mobile phones ring in class, while teachers remained blissfully ignorant
There was some discussion on Boing Boing about whether a mobile phone’s loudspeaker would actually be able to produce such a high-frequency sound - but as one of the doubters put it, if the teens are making it up:
…these kids have done something even more subversive than creating an adult-proof ringtone: they’ve convinced adults that there’s an inaudible sound that they can all hear.
I like that idea even more than the notion of the sound being turned into a ringtone: The Emperor’s New Clothes for the 21st Century
It seems that the ringtone story is probably true though, because the next twist is that the security company’s website now has an item in its “Latest News” section, which says:
Mosquito TM Ring-tones and Wallpaper:
The Authentic Mosquito ring tone and wallpaper will be available within the next few days.
Brilliant
Toby has a runny nose and a rattly-in-his-throat cough, and all night long every time he nursed, he’d start coughing a minute or so later - which made for a very disturbed night. I was so tired this morning that I thought we’d better get stuck in as soon as possible, before I fell over. So I started the boys doing some bookwork right after breakfast - and as with yesterday, they did masses of it. We covered history, geography, Latin, French, maths, science, and lots and lots of writing. Barney and George blogged, and I had to laugh when I saw what George wrote. Talking about the bruise he got from the accident at Cub Camp a week ago: “I’ve got a big bruise on my chin - wanna see it?”, then he’s inserted a photo of it, followed by the words, “Nice, isn’t it?” I guess black-and-blue is the new black Then he’s put in a photo of a picture Freddy drew, and afterwards typed, “Odd but great.”
Since we all left the house so tidy yesterday, someone took it upon themselves today to sprinkle blender-ised porridge oats (intended for use in the bath) over the living-room floor After cleaning that up and discovering jigsaw-puzzle pieces and bits of Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit mixed in with all the other masses of stuff on George and Freddy’s bedroom floor, I decided I wasn’t leaving it any longer. I think it probably took about an hour-and-a-half to clean it up - but I don’t expect it will stay tidy for much longer than that…
Scratchy has just blown a fuse - the electrical kind, not the kind I blew when I found the porridge oats today - so I’m hoping he gets the power back on before my laptop battery dies and I lose this post
This evening’s blogpost, that is.
I found the image thingy to the right on Sarah’s and Jax’s blogs, and did it despite not really seeing the point - though to be more true-to-life it would need to be fatter and accessorised with a babe-in-arms. I did equip the image with a laptop computer, but it was all wrong - the wrong colour, too big and (most importantly) closed
And thanks to Sue for the quiz below, which is probably more accurate than the image above
|
You Are 11% Vain |
 You don’t have a vain bone in your body - almost as a matter of principal. You demand to be judged on who you are, not what you look like. |
…without breaking some eggs. Or so they say. Whoever “they” are, Jack obviously believes them, because this evening he broke fourteen eggs. That’s fourteen, out of fifteen that I bought today. He was “helping”. Hm. Guess it’s omelette for brunch tomorrow. Or, more likely, French toast.
We visited the library today and the kids all borrowed more books. Barney and George borrowed some Star Wars books, because they’d been talking about it with Scratchy. They couldn’t have been talking about it with me, because on the three occasions I’ve tried to watch it, I’ve fallen asleep within the first ten minutes. We got Jack a library card, because all the spots on the other library cards were full I think it would really be better if they just issued “family cards”, because our books are always all mixed up on the various cards anyway. And it would save me from carrying around all those cards. Anyway, now we’re a five-library-card family, so we can borrow up to 45 books at a time. Because what this house really needs is more books, to add to the thousands already here. Heaven help us.
After the library we did our regular check on the local charity shops. I bought a skirt for me - hey, me wearing a skirt could happen! - and tried to buy a sewing-machine, but then one of the staff remembered that they weren’t allowed to sell electrical goods. So I suggested that they could “donate” it to me, and I could make a “donation” to them - two entirely separate transactions, of course. Since they couldn’t sell it, they also couldn’t offer me any assurances that it would work, so in the end she said to take it home and, if it worked, to come back with a donation
Haven’t tried it out yet, but will get to it. If it works, I’ll have got myself a fine sewing machine for a fiver, and if it doesn’t, well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Bought some groceries and was told by an old man in the shop that my children were lovely and fabulous etc… sometimes you just warm to people, y’know? Then he went and told the cashier (who he knows as “Brenda” ) that we were a lovely family and she was to be nice to us. Then he came back and told us he’d told her that. And when we got to the paying-for-it bit, he was still about and pointed us out to her, just in case she didn’t realise who we were He was really sweet though, and even thanked me for talking to him, which made me a little bit sad to think that a lot of people probably don’t 
Fed the boys a snack and headed for the swimming pool, where we splashed about a bit, and then I sat on a seat a few feet from the pool with Toby and fed him under a towel - partly because swimming costume requires yanking down rather than pulling up to feed, and partly because he’d been in the water so I wanted him warmed up. After a few minutes, one of the life-guards approached and told me that I couldn’t breastfeed there. Hm, I say, interesting. By that time he wasn’t actually nursing any more, as he’d fallen asleep. Anyway. A little bit later she came over and apologised and said that she had no problem with it but that someone had complained so she’d had to say something. I said that it would probably be good for the leisure centre to have a written policy, and asked for the manager’s name. I felt sorry for the life-guard - she was clearly totally embarrassed about the whole thing. I reassured her that it wasn’t her fault and promised not to push her into the pool
When we went into the changing room, a mother whose kids had been in a private lesson commented on Toby, and I mentioned that I’d just been told not to breastfeed in the pool area. She was stunned and immediately started saying “That’s insane! How stupid is that! I can’t believe it!” - etc. She said she’d fed her children until they were two, and she’d fed them everywhere, and she thought that not allowing a mother to breastfeed by the pool was completely unjustifiable. At that point the swimming instructor - who also happens to be the teacher of the class my older three are in - came in with this woman’s children, and the woman told her, and she went off on one about how stupid it was. Since she’d actually been in the pool at the time, she was saying “and there wasn’t even anything to see, for goodness sake! - you’d a towel wrapped around you!” I said that there might possibly have been a very brief glimpse of flesh as I latched him on, if anyone had been really trying to see - and she said, very forcefully, “No! There wasn’t! There was nothing to see! And anyway, why would anyone be looking?!” So - nice to feel that I at least had some support. I said I’d probably write to the centre manager and suggest a meeting to work out a policy on breastfeeding in the centre.
I got Jack and Toby dressed - the others were in the male changing room - and went into the hall, to find the other mum standing waiting to tell me she’d been “so incensed” that she went and “demanded to speak to the manager” so she could tell him how angry she was Apparently he made noises about “trying to keep everyone happy”, but at least he didn’t try to claim it was anything to do with health and safety or something stupid like that. I thought afterwards, when I was telling Scratchy about it, that I should have suggested that if the staff could actually see any food I’d gladly remove it from the premises
I will contact the manager, and at least now I know that I won’t come across as some one-woman-mad-thing. The other mum gave me her name and said she was very happy to support any move to get a pro-breastfeeding policy in place. Funny how an experience can start off negative and yet leave you feeling warm and fuzzy, isn’t it?
Barney, George and Freddy had soccer school after that; thank goodness the rain from yesterday didn’t continue, as the field would have been a disaster. Oh, uh, just remembered it’s astroturf. Never mind We got home just a few minutes before our grocery delivery (I never feel it’s worth bothering ordering on-line, but I do like it when they deliver for free! :-D) - this was the point at which Jack’s “help” was so… er… “helpful” - and Scratchy cooked while George, Freddy and Jack cleaned out the car and I vacuumed it. I might be a stay-at-home-mum and all, but traditional roles don’t carry much weight here After dinner Scratchy and Barney went off to basketball.
Shock of the day was when George declined to have more chips and said Freddy could have them. George does like his chips! Slightly lesser shock when he changed his mind a minute later and Freddy cheerfully gave him the rest of the chips: “You can have these, because I’ve already had some.” See? My children can be lovely - the old man in the grocery store was right
And there goes another week. Just the weekend to cope with now! 
I just love this.
Last night, with all the kids camped out on the floor in my bedroom, I looked around and thought “This is kind of nice, we should just do this occasionally anyway”. And it was. It seems that as children get older, you don’t get so many of those just-hanging-out-together moments, when everyone’s in the same place and there’s no need to hurry up because someone has to be somewhere in half an hour. I often think how lucky I am to be able to spend so much time with my children - much, much more than I’d ever get if they were in school - but it’s not often that we’re all just sitting around, nowhere to go, nothing better to do, in one room. So there’s Silver Lining Number One
This morning we just kept the bedroom door closed until everyone was dressed and ready to go, since it was the only warm room in the house. We went downstairs and let the cats out, threw some food I’d tray-frozen last night into freezer bags and back into the freezer, grabbed a few things to take with us, and left. We picked up a drive-through breakfast, then I swept through a local kitchen equipment shop for a few bits and pieces, and went into a healthfood place for “Dragons’ Eggs”.
We bought these the last time we were there, and the boys really liked them, and they’d asked me to get some more, so I went in and looked, leaving all but Toby in the car. I couldn’t see them, so I asked the assistant, but she had no idea what I was talking about. She suggested a few things, one or two of which looked vaguely familiar but weren’t called Dragons’ Eggs. Eventually I picked up two bags - one of some kind of peanutty thing and the other of seaweed-based snacks (doesn’t that sound delightful? they are good though LOL) and went back to the car. I told them I couldn’t find Dragons’ Eggs, but I’d found things that I thought were probably the same thing, just packaged under a different name. “Oh,” they said, “We just call them dragons’ eggs, that’s not really what they’re called!” Well thanks for making me look like a right dope in the shop guys!
After that we headed for S’s house. We’d a lovely time there, as we always do - Silver Lining Number Two S and I did lots of laughing and the kids all ran about and played, indoors and out. We had home-made pizza (catered by S) and homemade bread (catered by me) for lunch, and the tea was kept flowing. I won’t hold it against them that M, the same age as Jack, told me, with a very serious tone and a very serious expression, that my hair looked weird
Picked up Scratchy on the way home, and once we got here he went straight to the garage to get the oil flowing through the furnace again, while I did spag bol for dinner (quick and easy). Both of us accomplished our respective tasks quickly, and we sat down to pasta in a rapidly-warming-up house. I can’t believe how much the oil cost though - nearly twice what I’d expected 
The rates bill arrived today too, so I don’t think there’ll be any more money spent on dragons’ eggs (or anything else) for a few weeks!
Barney, George and Freddy have just arrived back from ju-jitsu, where they’d a games night since it was the last week before the Easter break, and they’re now gathering their pillows and distributing them to their own beds again. Back to normal then - whatever normal is!
Heh. Seems I caught a few of you this morning then 
Apart from that, today was a normal Saturday. The boys went to their swimming lesson this morning, and I experimented with different bread-making techniques (since I couldn’t just toss it all in the breadmaker anyway, I figured I might as well play). It made very good bread; now I’m thinking maybe I don’t really want a breadmaker. The food processor does the kneading just as easily, and I like baking the bread in the oven rather than the breadmaker anyway (better shape and no paddle-hole!) I don’t expect I’ll get my money back when I take the dead one back to the shop though, so if the manufacturer does send me a new breadmaker, I’m thinking I might just sell it.
Made delish beans-on-toast for lunch (everything from scratch!) and then… well, I’m not sure what I did with the next couple of hours really - the boys were on various computers, I know that, because after they started to squabble about it, I decided they’d had enough. Being a bad mummy, I suggested they could watch a movie instead - so they watched King Solomon’s Mines, and then got into another argument about what to watch next - Jack wanted Ivanhoe But never let it be said that my children are hot-housed: in the end, he settled for Wallace and Gromit
There was another - well, not really a squabble, more of a discussion - about whose fault it was when the DVD got jammed in the DVD player. George said it was 99% Jack’s fault and 1% his fault; Jack said “no, it’s 99% your fault and 1% my fault!” Scratch what I said about hot-housing then
Scratchy went off to buy groceries (I have a cook-for-the-freezer day planned tomorrow) and basketball practice - and came home barely able to walk. The basketball team members have been asking him to join the team for a while; he doesn’t want to commit to the team (too much else to do!) but does enjoy both the game and the exercise, even if it does leave him hobbling in pain. I never did understand the appeal of deliberately-inflicted self-torture - my approach is more “no pain, no pain” - but apparently some people find it appealing 
Click here to find out why.
The next time I manage to screw up my blog’s theme, or forget to close a tag, or do something else silly that affects my blog’s appearance or performance, I will remember this, and I won’t feel so bad
Official Google Blog: And we’re back
The Google Blog was unavailable for a short time tonight. We quickly learned from our initial investigation that there was no systemwide vulnerability for Blogger. We’ll let you know more about what did happen once we finish looking into it.
Update: We’ve determined the cause of tonight’s outage. The blog was mistakenly deleted by us (d’oh!) which allowed the blog address to be temporarily claimed by another user. This was not a hack, and nobody guessed our password. Our bad.
It was a tense time. The adrenalin was flowing. There were moments when I held my breath. And there were moments when I blew out hard, to clear the dust from it.
My laptop, that is. I got an extra memory module for it this week - and unlike the one I bought for Scratchy’s laptop last night, this one isn’t for a desktop. It arrived this morning, so I did my intrepid-explorer bit and installed it. Because it’s a super-thin laptop, it’s a bit more complicated to install new memory, so I’ve just had it in pieces:
I hope nobody’s squeamish
I had to find the instruction manual to figure out how to do it, which meant getting out the box it all came in. Inside the box is the docking station for the laptop, which has lots of extra bits and pieces on it. I don’t think it had ever been out of its plastic wrapping before, so I looked at it just so I could say I’d seen it. Other things in the box that I’d never looked at before included a portable floppy disc drive, a spare power thingy, a thing that fills in the space if you want to take the CD/DVD drive out. I’ve only had this laptop for 2.5 years
Barney insisted I take a photo of the screen, as a record of “the time when mum’s laptop was turned off - I want to remember this!”
Of course it’s been turned back on now - and it’s working There’s a lot less dust inside it now too - and it’s so much faster! Just whizzing along 
Deb does a little happy dance 
…and shivering and blinking hard and going “blergh” is going on here right now 
Yep, I’m ill again, though just a cold with a minor fever this time - nothing compared to how I felt a couple of weeks ago. I don’t think I was properly over that - I’ve been very tired ever since, and I’m certainly no better today. There will be much swallowing of vitamin c and zinc going on in days to come.
Apart from that, the pig latin has continued unabated, with even Jack joining in. The boys all did some maths today too, and they all drew pictures for Illustration Friday, except for George, who’d done his yesterday. This week’s theme is “feet”, and you can view our submissions here. George also wrote in his blog about Jack and his birthday (specifically, about the cake), and then this afternoon they sat down to watch a - well, I hesitate to call it a movie, it was an animated version of Robin Hood, and while the animation looked fairly modern, it had all the hallmarks of stuff produced in the 1970s. Can’t say I was enthralled, but the boys seemed to like it and it kept them quiet for an hour or so.
I struggled into the dining-room for dinner, and in response to Scratchy asking “can you swallow?”, said “yes - I can’t breathe, but I can swallow.” Jack piped up “I can breathe!” and proceeded to demonstrate We do have some interesting conversations over meals: yesterday there was a discussion which started with why cannibals don’t eat each other and meandered through vegetarianism and the ethics of eating various things, including your own family. It involved some funny comments that I meant to blog, but I forgot to do so yesterday and of course now I can’t remember what they were 
This evening the older three are off to ju-jitsu and Jack is already asleep. I’m going to huddle most of me under the covers, with just enough left out to do some sudoku. Did I mention I converted the bloke in the post office to sudoku last week? Well I did. It’s a drug, I tell you, it’s a drug 
Spent most of the morning mooching about and generally getting nothing done, but did manage to sit down and work out some plans for ejookashunal stuff this afternoon. We managed to polish off all the leftovers from yesterday - particularly Barney, who had pasta salad for breakfast (in preference over bagels, which is quite a shock, because he does like his bagels…) and discovered he loved chili at lunch and would have had more if there had been any to have.
Barney spent most of the afternoon writing fiction - he’s really getting into writing now. I’m always impressed with what he writes - it’s really good. The others watched a couple of movies this afternoon; I’ve been thinking about whether it would be worth our while getting a freeview box, but am very put off by cost - of box, of tv licence, of recording device of some sort which would then be a necessity…
Barney and George have been chatting away in pig latin, much to Scratchy’s disgust because he can’t figure it out I’m told they read about it in an Agent Z book and worked out the details for themselves. So there’s been lots of “ummymay isay otnay aay ittway” and the like going on. Freddy is doing his best, but he tends to stick one “ay” on at the end of each sentence, rather than doing it word by word, which does reduce its effectiveness as a secret language somewhat I discovered that there are several on-line translation services for pig latin (!) - and you can even get google in pig latin - when I showed Barney the latter, his response was “awesomeay!”
All is peaceful now, as everyone’s asleep except me. Eythay ustmay avehay eenbay iredtay
Ongoing argument with Jack:
Jack: I’m nearly four.
Anyone else: You’re already four!
Jack: No, I’m not!
Anyone else: Yes, you are!
Jack: I’m not four! I’m nearly four!
Anyone else: No, you’re four now - you had a birthday.
Jack: No, I’m free. I’m nearly four!
Repeat ad infinitum.
We were lucky this morning in that the rain stayed off for most of our journey to the homeopath. I hadn’t realised how long the appointments would take, though, so the kids had a long time sitting in her waiting-room. She’s given me a remedy for Jack, and she gave George and Scratchy each something while we were there. We’ve to phone her in three weeks to discuss how they’re getting on.
While she saw Scratchy, I’d a chat with her secretary - the usual “I don’t know how you have time to home-educate with five children!” stuff. My usual answer is “I don’t do school-runs” - which usually gets a thoughtful look and a sudden understanding Anyway we had that conversation, and then later she said something else about finding time. I asked what time she got up. 7.30, she said. And what time did her son get on the bus, I asked. Ten to nine, she said. I asked what she was doing all that time. “Getting him organised for school,” she replied - and then, realising what she’d walked straight into, burst out laughing
On the way back, we stopped to grab a late lunch. A few minutes after we got back in the car, Jack piped up that he needed to pee We weren’t far from a large service-station with a restaurant etc so we pulled in there. The restaurant had a big sign up that their facilities were for customers only, so Scratchy took Jack over to the shop at the service-station. They didn’t have public toilets, but they said he could use the staff ones in the back. So Scratchy took him in, pulled the door, and reached up and pulled what he thought was the cord to turn the light on.
He thought wrong.
It was the panic alarm.
Which has a direct link to the police.
It gave the staff and the police a good chuckle anyway
Although we only had lunch at about 3pm, the kids insisted on being fed again at 6 - demanding creatures, they are So they’ve all just chowed down on mac’n'cheese while I had a bath (at first with Toby and Jack, but I got to top up with lava-water after they got out :-)) Barney, George and Freddy are off to ju-jitsu in a few minutes, and I’m going to lie down and nurse Toby to sleep - and hope that Jack doesn’t bounce all over us too much.
We had French toast today for lunch, to make up for not having had pancakes yesterday. Freddy very nearly had pancakes yesterday; the Beavers were supposed to make them last night, but the cooker in the Scout Hall died. I considered making pancakes today, but decided it was a bit too much hassle with Toby wanting to be in my arms all the time, so opted for French toast instead. I’ll make an extra-big batch next year
Barney slept fairly late, having been at St. John Cadets last night, but although George had been out at SJA Badgers, he woke up early - again complaining that his stomach hurt. He felt slightly warm to the touch too, but announced “I think I have enough energy to manage eating breakfast”, and seemed to recover quickly after that. After breakfast, we had a look at the history of mapping, and talked about how maps were created many years ago, and what tools were available - compasses, dividers, sextants, etc. We looked up sextants on-line to see how they worked. Then somebody needed a small ruler for something, and none could be found (there are at least six in the house somewhere, so I had a bit of a rant about things not being put away properly. George and Freddy read about Jupiter in their book about the solar system, and then looked up other books to see what else they could find out about Jupiter.
(This reminded me about Barney, when he was 8 or 9 years old, telling us - and everyone else at the party we were attending - “My stomach is like Jupiter.” When asked why, he replied, “Because it’s a gas giant.” :roll:)
Barney, George and Freddy did some maths, while Jack went off to look for rulers (he says he knows where they are, but he didn’t bring any of them back). Freddy’s learning about symmetry, a topic that was always popular with Barney and George. Barney worked through a page of simultaneous equations, and found them easy. Freddy did some more English, learning about titles and introductions, and George learned the names of clothing items and colours in French, made a computer picture using dots, and finished some geography he’d started yesterday (about coastlines).
Meantime, I had a look at the Schools Surplus website, where I found they were selling rulers by the dozen. Not worth placing an order just for rulers though, is it? - so I found a few other things to buy too
The kids sat down to watch a dvd, I lay down with Toby, hoping that once he fell asleep I’d be able to get up and tidy up (didn’t happen). Then the boys’ friend R arrived and they played for an hour or so before dinner (spag bol). Barney has just been left at Scouts, where he fell outside the hall (scraped hands and a bit shaken, but otherwise okay, apparently) and George has just arrived back from Cubs, where he showed everyone his ceramic Harry Potter badge/magnet (depends what you stick to the back of it), his dinosaur skeleton, and his origami collection (I did take photos of that, must get them on the computer soon) - so that’s the Artist badge and the Collector badge taken care of
We’ve had hail on and off all day. Five minutes ago it was coming down in great big pellets. That’s when Jack came into the kitchen, and loudly announced,
“I’m going outside!”
“Oh no you’re not!” I say.
“Yes, I am!” he replies.
“But look at the hail,” I say, “It’s cold and hard and it would hurt you.”
“I will put my coat on with my hood up.” he answers.
“And what about your hands?” I ask.
“I can just put them in my sleeves.” is his response.
“And what about your face?” I say.
His eyes glance briefly upwards as he checks his brain for an answer.
“I’ll just put my hood over my face.”
I laugh, and he laughs, and walks out of the kitchen.
He always has an answer for everything.
A minute later, Barney notices Jack in the conservatory, which is off the kitchen in the opposite direction to the living-room. One word from me and he does exactly as he pleases.
I’ve hidden the key to the conservatory door
No, not me - my neighbours
Things were a bit better today than they were last week - I think a full weekend, followed by a busy Monday, has helped
Since Freddy was wondering what it was like to be at school, we had a “school-start” morning - I didn’t wake the boys, but I did get them doing teeth-cleaning etc earlier than usual, and everyone had eaten by 8.30. Then I told them to put on their coats and shoes and to go sit in the conservatory for ten minutes and pretend it was a car on a school-run
They did some work, though less than I’d intended since it some of the locals are on half-term this week and came calling - so after lunch all except Toby went out to play. At about 4.30 Freddy came asking if they were allowed into their friend N’s house (they’re not supposed to go in anyone’s house without letting me know) and I said yes - never thinking that N’s parents are used to having one child in the house! The shock of six kids (N, a cousin, and my four) was too much for them and they sent two of mine home
Freddy fell to bits at dinner-time when he realised that he couldn’t go back to N’s after dinner (he was one of the two sent home), and between that and nobody bothering to tidy up the living-room or the landing or their bedrooms, the decision was taken that bed was a more suitable goal for the evening than ju-jitsu.
Toby is just being a darling - all chatty and smiley. He’s really grabbing things now, and it’s getting harder to eat or drink or email or blog with him around! Scratchy and I were commenting on how fab he is yesterday, and I nearly gave Scratchy a stroke by saying that one more baby couldn’t hurt… - half-joking, half-serious to be honest. I’ll blog more about my feelings on that topic another time, when I’m not about to start on a cup of tea
A couple of days ago, someone on the Early Years list asked about a computer game called Age of Empires. There was a bit of a thread about it, with the consensus being that it was pretty good. I’d never heard of it before.
Five minutes ago, Scratchy walked in, having been to Tesco. They have some stuff on clearance, apparently. Including a few computer games for prices from 99p to £2.99. Guess what he’d bought? 
Jack just told me that he is on strike.
Hm.
First - something I forgot to mention yesterday when I said the heat was back on.
The guy who delivered the oil came in to see if he could prime the pump. He came through the kitchen, and into the garage, and turned and looked at the big white box, and said, “I don’t know much about these burners.”
And I replied, “That’s a freezer.”
“Oh,” he said, “I thought it was.”
Anyway - on to today. We got up and used the new-and-super food processor
This afternoon was spent doing - well, I don’t know what, but I must have done something!
George had Cub Scouts tonight, which he declared “brilliant”. Right now it’s very quiet - I do think that some of my children might actually be asleep! 
Well, I am!
I worked hard this weekend, have tidied the kitchen and dining-room, rearranged all the shelving in there, it’s all lovely and organised now. And I went through all that p