NotSheep

We’ve been schools-film-weeking. Yesterday we went to see two movies - I booked both because usually something that we’ve booked gets cancelled. Of course this year that didn’t happen, so we went to watch The Golden Compass in the morning, and Ratatouille in the afternoon.

We liked both of them. Barney and Toby had an arm-wrestling contest to pass the time while we waited for The Golden Compass to start - Toby was very firm about the rules, especially the one about taking it in turns to win Jack watched the scary bits of the movie whilst crouching down behind the seat in front of us, but Toby wasn’t a bit bothered. “Are you okay?” I whispered during a scary leading-up-to-a-battle scene. He nodded and exclaimed, “I like the bear!”

I commented on Brightkite etc that watching the reactions of teachers as they spot the home-educators at “schools” events makes an interesting game. Some of them look surprised, some of them look taken aback, some of them look cross. Sometimes they’re really positive - one even offered to get me a cup of coffee when she was going for some for the other adults in her group. And sometimes they’re astonishingly rude (especially for people who are supposed to be setting an example to their pupils) - we even had one a couple of years ago who was so bad that the cinema staff apologised to me for her behaviour.

But today, we had a new reaction - which I don’t think had anything to do with us being home-educators - and which I can only call “absurd”.

As always, I sat near the exit, because I want to be able to slip out easily if one of the younger children is scared or fussing etc. And as always, we were there in good time - the booking confirmation tells groups to arrive half an hour before the movie is due to start, but they never do. We were there at 9.40, but the first school-group arrived at 9.58. As the school-children filed in, several of the girls did the “aw! look at the lovely wee baby!” thing. Not one of them showed any sign of noticing that I was breastfeeding him. No funny looks, no embarassment, no giggles, no nudges, nothing.

And yet, a few minutes later the cinema manager approached me and said that one of the teachers had complained about me feeding my baby - “because of the children” - and wanted me to leave.

I was quite shocked, really - as well as being a bit embarrassed (for the manager, mostly!) and faintly amused. It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced any negativity towards breastfeeding in public - and to be quite honest, you’d have had to look pretty darn hard to see anything. I was feeding discreetly, in an oversized t-shirt, in a dimly-lit cinema. I’d bet she sees mums at the school gates exposing more flesh than I was - maybe even teachers too!

I told the cinema manager that I’d no intention of abandoning my other children in the theatre, nor of dragging them all out, and asked if any of the children were bothered. (It’s remarkable how many adults who complain about breastfeeding are only doing so “for the sake of the children” - without any indication that the children have a problem with it at all.) He said no, they didn’t seem to, and apologised and muttered something about having to speak to me since she’d complained. I suggested he go back and ask her if she’d find it less disturbing to have my baby crying through the movie. He told me that his own two children had been breastfed and that he had no problem with it and apologised again. I said that perhaps a breastfeeding policy would be a good idea, and he nodded and scurried off.

Nobody said anything more about it

The problem is that if I’d been someone who was less confident about breastfeeding in public, I might not take my children out with a baby - or I might stop breastfeeding. I’m perfectly capable of telling someone where they can shove their complaints, but lots of mums aren’t. And so after the movie, I asked one of the staff if the manager was available. He wasn’t, but I left information about a scheme which runs here - a scheme in which a business or leisure centre or whatever agree that babies can breastfeed anywhere in their premises that they’re allowed to be, and get listed on the scheme’s website and get stickers for their doors to show that they are supporting the scheme. And I emailed the chain the cinema is part of, suggesting the scheme to them too.

I would love it if that teacher returned to the cinema to find that it had become part of that scheme - as a result of her complaint.

When I reported the episode on Brightkite etc, someone I know suggested that I should apologise to the teacher for exposing her children to one of the more lovely aspects of reality

One more movie tomorrow, although it’s more for the older kids, and as Scratchy has the day off, he’s going to take them and let me stay at home with the younger ones. And then he goes off to Canada for a week, to see his mum. We arranged his trip to coincide with half-term because I figured the various evening activities would be off for the week - thereby minimising the taxi-ing required - but I discovered this morning that both ju-jitsu and Air Cadets will still be on - which will make next Monday evening interesting, as I’ll need to pack up all six children to leave three of them off in two different places at the same time, then take the youngest three to collect two of the others, then somehow get Barney home after 10. If I can’t arrange a lift for him, I’ll pay for a taxi. And on Saturday, I have to get him to a nearby town, where he has volunteered to spend three hours testing a life-raft. I asked if that meant he’d be getting wet and he replied, “Only if it doesn’t work properly!” - but he’ll be taking spare clothes just in case.

Anyone know where Jack’s coat is? I only sorted the coats out on the weekend, and he’s already unable to find it.