NotSheep

• Heavy rain overnight, stopped now and sun fighting through. Fingers crossed I can send kids out soon! #
• Getting ready to go to big town: bank, toothbrushes, bread… #
• Back from errands, wind and rain again Can see afternoon of puzzles and hot choc ahead. #
• @MerrilyMe that was one of the things that always annoyed me about schools too #
• Wondering if this is what SPD feels like. #
• Reading aloud to kids and watching the wind. #
• Watching spiderman 3. Thought it couldn’t be any worse than spiderman 2. I was wrong. #
• Weather finally improved enough to send kids out. Hope it lasts… #
• Given the amount of noise from outside, I think the boys really *needed* to get out for a while! #
• Think there’s only one family here besides us! #
• @MerrilyMe Castlerock - it’s actually great when sans hurricanes lol #
• Starting spag bol for dinner. #
• Feeding not only my own children but a visiting child too. #
• My children are quizzing the visitor to see what he learns in school lol #
• @SallyM lol I’m watching EE for the first time in about ten years or I’d have had no idea what you meant #
• Dot looksexactly the same as 20 years ago. Not sure I want her secret tho lol #
• @SallyM did I miss B then, or was it just the flashback bit? #
• Visiting child fascinated by my knitting. Think he wants me to teach him. Not happening tonight. #
• Spiderman2 must be a contender for the longest, worst movie ever. #
• Movie (3, not 2, I’ve been corrected) appears to be finally almost over. Cannot express how glad I am! #
• @MerrilyMe believe me, the no internet thing does not work for all of us. #
• @MerrilyMe does knitting count? #
• @MerrilyMe 3 hats, a pair of socks and a scarf in 4 days… #
• @MerrilyMe lol no - tho I have done some baby hats, slippers and socks in pale green (hedging bets lol) #

• Weird: I’m lying in bed and I don’t hear wind outside… #
• The smoke alarm goes off if anyone breathes too close to it, but when something’s burning…not a chirp #
• G is in chittery mode. God help me. #
• Hands very swollen. Only realised when I couldn’t get my watch around my wrist, but now that I look… #
• Not windy. Not rainy. Actually…quite pleasant! Sending kids out and might even go to beach later. #
• Big red tractor outside caravan causing great excitement for J and T. #
• On beach with bikes #
• @cgf chains can be oiled, but how often do you get to cycle *in* the Atlantic! #
• Have had hot choc, read more Morpurgo aloud, now making lunch. #
• Now B learning to knit; has completed about 3 stitches, says it’s ‘pretty fun’ #
• Turns out B is picking up knitting easily - already quite good. So how come handwriting is such a struggle??! #
• Huge excitement here as the caravan opposite is moved away. #
• Who needs Legoland or sun when there’s tractors and diggers and caravans being sited? #
• Baby potatoes in butter - yum! #
• 3 children in bed; others on way soon. Bemoaning lack of anything on tv that would keep me awake for an hour or 2. #
• B does not want to go to bed; he wants to stay up and knit! Says it’s addictive. #

• B makes a mean cheese soda #
• B12 now normal - so why am I still so exhausted? #
• Walked to shop and back. Can’t believe how long it took, or how sore I am. #
• Eating pizzas that were too big for the oven and cleaning up. #
• @andrea_r
  Not tired like this, this is something else #
• @onceinabluemoon a wireless dongle will work on usb port #
• @pheline nope, they were bought ones so I just had to squish them and cut off the burnt bits #
• @pheline lol nothing to do with fizzy drinks. Toasted soda bread (pref farls) with melted cheese on it! #
• Twittering from hot bath with cup of ice-chips beside me. Hungry. #
• Home but not turning on laptop tonight because will end up online half the night. #

When it comes to blogging every few days, all I can say is, “Thank goodness for Twitter”. Because my memory is, uh, what was I saying?

Monday morning was spent running from one errand to another, including stopping to see the midwives and get blood taken to check my B12 level - and proving, once again, that I have horrible veins. Neither the midwife nor the student midwife was able to get a cooperative vein, and in the end they called a nurse from the treatment room to have a go. She managed to get blood - and only poked me once with the needle, which is good, but left a great big bruise, which isn’t so good. By the time we were through, I was late for Toby’s speech therapy, but the therapist being in late pregnancy herself, she was understanding. I also took the bicycle with the puncture (the one that was Freddy’s but was about to be given to Jack) to the bike repair shop, but they weren’t able to fix it until Tuesday, which wasn’t a lot of use since we were planning on leaving straight from there for the caravan. So I went back home and collected yet another bicycle - Toby’s smaller one - just in case we weren’t able to get it repaired. We did get it sorted out though, in the same shop that fixed it on Saturday, and they didn’t even charge for fitting the new tube or tyre (because of the running back and forth we’d had to do).

We got to the caravan and spent the afternoon outdoors, as it was sunny and reasonably warm - not tee-shirt weather, but certainly pleasant. On starting dinner, I realised we were out of bread, and then I realised I was out of cash, so I couldn’t even send Barney to the shop - so cheese toasties were out. I also realised we’d left the toothbrushes at home - there’s always something. So Tuesday morning found us driving into the big town, because although there is a chemist’s shop in the village, it’s not exactly large or well-stocked (they didn’t have Band-Aids when I went looking for those). I went armed with a meal-plan for the week and bought everything we needed. Back to the caravan for lunch, then the boys spent the afternoon in and out, as the weather allowed. They made friends with E, a boy about Freddy’s age whose family also have a caravan, and he ended up staying for dinner - he was kind of left hovering on our deck when I called my own children in for food, so I guesstimated how much spag bol there was and figured I’d feed him too, if he wanted. The dinner-time conversation was quite amusing - many home-educators find that people quiz their children to see what they’re learning, but my kids turned the tables and quizzed E instead: things like, “What’s the name for a number multiplied by itself?”

E stayed after dinner too, while they watched the rest of their movie (Spiderman 3 - really, really bad - I was almost praying for it to end!) and finally left about 9.30. I must have twittered quite a bit about the wind and rain, because when I said I thought there was only one other family there, Merry messaged me to ask where we were and ask if it was purgatory I think the answer to that is provided in the replies I got from the boys this morning when I asked when they wanted to go back to the caravan. Toby yelled “Yes!”, two voices said “Soon!” and the remaining two said “As soon as possible!” - so now we’re trying to make plans for the weekend and next week…

I woke on Wednesday morning to a very strange sound: silence. No rain beating on the windows, no blasts of wind…the silence didn’t last long when children started to wake though, especially with George, who was in chittering mode. Not chattering - chittering has a whole extra element of irritating. Never was I more grateful for getting-them-outside weather! I tried and failed to put my watch on - it’s usually quite loose as I wear it quite far up my wrist, but it was too tight, and when I looked at my hands, I realised how swollen they were. I’ve also got tingly fingertips, and I’m hoping it’s not the knitting that’s doing it, because I’m really enjoying knitting again

During the day on Wednesday the staff from the caravan park removed the caravan opposite ours, using a "big digger truck", as Toby put it, and thus provided great entertainment for small boys. We also spent a while down on the beach with bicycles - which Chris disapproved of because of the potential damage to gears and chains, but really, if you had the opportunity to cycle in and out of the Atlantic, wouldn’t you? In the afternoon, Barney asked to be taught to knit - he’s not usually the good-with-his-hands kid, but surprised me in how quickly he picked it up and got quite good at it. He proclaimed it “pretty fun”, and at bedtime was disappointed to be sent to bed because he wanted to stay up and knit (”it’s kind of addictive”).

On Thursday morning I’d a call from a midwife to tell me my B12 was now normal - which leaves me searching for some other explanation for my fatigue We walked to the shop in the morning - which usually takes just a few minutes, but took forever because my pelvis was so sore, and left me exhausted. We expected our friends K & J to be using the caravan from Friday, so planned to leave then, but I decided to leave Friday rather than have to pack up the car in the rain forecast for Friday morning. I spent the rest of the morning tidying and packing what I could, in preparation for leaving in the afternoon, while the boys cycled, skateboarded and playgrounded. I got the bicycles onto the car at about 2.30 - with difficulty, given that I have a big bump in the way of lifting them and that the carrier is designed to carry three bicycles and I had five… The boys played for another hour or so before we left, and Barney knit on the way home in the car. We arrived home at about 5.30 and the first thing I did was put on the water-heater - and oh did that hot bath ever feel good! Shortly after I went to bed, I got a text-message from J to say they weren’t going to be at the caravan this weekend after all - and I’d left the power, water and gas on…probably not a big problem, although the milk I left in the fridge might not be so good by the middle of next week. We could end up back there over the weekend, when the forecast is snow - now that could be an adventure…I promise I’ll take some photos this time if we do.

• Just when I get back on-line - my laptop is acting up #
• I asked when the kids want to go back to the caravan. One said "yes!", two said "soon!" and two said "as soon as possible!" Okaaaayyy… #
• Listening to unwell J wailing & wondering if I really want to spend the next few days in a caravan with him! But everyone else wants to go. #
• @SallyM What an incredibly stupid quiz! I thought maybe it wasn’t for real, but the site looks like it is. It even has some answers wrong! #

I woke up this morning still trying to decide whether to go to the caravan today or wait until Tuesday (Toby has another speech therapy appointment on Monday, so no point in going tomorrow). As it turned out, the universe had plans to take that decision out of my hands.

Jack was a bit off-colour and waily at bedtime last night, but he gets that way when he’s not well - he tends to get miserable for a few hours, sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up bouncy and full of life again. He also tends to breathe quite heavily when he’s ill, but it never lasts long. Today was different. He was normal-sick (for him) in the morning, and I decided to go to Ikea and pick up a few things for the caravan. When I got home at lunchtime though, he’d thrown up and his breathing was very laboured. It was somehow not the same as it usually is when he’s unwell. I decided I was worried enough to take him to Casualty.

He went in pyjamas with a fleece blanket around him, and insisted on being carried in (not an easy task to carry a six-year-old when you’ve a bump the size of mine). When we got into the waiting-room, I sat him on a chair and he promptly threw up on the floor. I talked to the receptionist, who sent us through to triage. They weighed him and took his temperature, then sent us through to a treatment room. The doctor couldn’t hear any breathing sounds in his lungs, but his oxygen levels were pretty good (97%). It was obvious he was working hard to breathe though. Two nebuliser treatments later, they said his lungs were quite rattly. They took blood, put an IV line in the back of his hand, and gave him a dose of intravenous steroids. A chest x-ray was ordered, and he sat with an oxygen mask for the next few hours. Eventually it was decided he should be admitted for observation - just for a few hours, possibly overnight but maybe going home at bedtime. By the time he was taken to the ward though, it was after 6 p.m., so there was no going home tonight. I asked him who he wanted to stay with him - me or Scratchy - he chose Scratchy. To be honest, I was too relieved to be offended - the thought of facing a night in a chair by the bed wasn’t thrilling me or my pelvis.

On the ward he was taken off the oxygen mask but his oxygen levels remained good. Another doctor came and examined him, and he got to see his chest x-ray, which showed quite a lot of trapped air around the edges of his lungs. The doctor said it was probably viral and ordered another nebuliser treatment; by the time that was given it was nearly 8 p.m. After the treatment, I left him on his own for a while so I could drive home and get Scratchy. I took Scratchy to the hospital and came home, glad to get a chance to eat something and lie down.

They said there’d probably be more nebuliser treatments overnight, but it was hoped he wouldn’t need more IV steroids. However Scratchy has texted to say Jack has had oral steroids - I don’t understand why, as that was the whole point of the IV line, and it’s still in place. He’s also been given oral antibiotics - again, I don’t understand why, when they were fairly certain it was viral - and I can’t say I’m pleased, as he’s never had antibiotics before and I’d have preferred to keep it that way if they weren’t actually necessary.

In fact he’s never had any kind of medication before - not so much as a children’s paracetamol. He’s never spent a night in hospital in his life - none of my children has, except for Barney, who spent the first two nights of his life in hospital because I was daft enough to give birth to him in one. I don’t think Jack has ever even been on a hospital ward to visit anybody before. So all this has been a bit of a shock.

I hope he’ll be home tomorrow, but was warned by one of the nurses that it could be a few days. Before he was admitted, I asked if he could come home this evening with a nebuliser, but apparently it’s not possible to arrange a nebuliser on the weekend

• Decision-making: should we stay or should we go? #
• Gone to ikea instead. Or maybe before. Haven’t decided yet. #
• At hospital with J. He’s having nebuliser #
• And steroids IV #
• J being kept in for observation #
• I’m home. J’s in hosp, in reasonably good form, OH with him. Not the day I’d planned. #
• @SallyM OH on chair beside bed! He’s now had oral a/bs (why? dr said prob viral) and oral steroids (why? IV line there for that) #

A fitful night last night for several of us, I think. Certainly I didn’t sleep well, and I suspect Barney - on the other side of Toby, who was beside me - didn’t either. I did wake him to try to get him to move to his own bed before I went to bed, but he was a bit sleep-stupid and looked at me as if he didn’t know who I was, so I left him. I wished later that I’d made him move though, as he kept stealing all the duvet - we were using one that wasn’t big enough for the bed, because Jack had thrown up on the big one earlier. So every time I woke and stole the duvet back, Barney woke too, and grumbled under his breath. Scratchy, sleeping in a recliner chair beside a hospital bed, certainly didn’t get a peaceful night, and Jack didn’t go to sleep until 10.30, then was woken twice to give him a nebuliser treatment - or to try, as he’d decided he was having nothing to do with it. His oxygen levels remained good throughout the night though, so they decided not to force the issue, and this morning he was up and cheerful by 8 a.m.

I headed into the hospital soon after 8, stopping on the way to pick up breakfast for Scratchy (who I figured wouldn’t have been fed) and me (who I knew hadn’t eaten) and Jack (who I figured would be put out if I brought breakfast for everyone except him ) I wanted to get there early to see Jack, of course, but I also wanted to be there before the consultant did his rounds, as I wanted to ask about the oral steroids and antibiotics, and I know better than to expect Scratchy to get the whole story. Hearing that Jack had had a good night oxygen-wise made me optimistic that we’d be able to bring him home, so I took clothes for him, but just in case, I also went prepared with books and toys, as well as my knitting, and arranged with a friend for her to take the other boys later in the day if Jack was kept in for longer.

I arrived to find Jack eating his fourth slice of toast - but he still perked up and said “Thanks Mum!” when he spotted the pancakes I’d brought him. That was about all I got out of him, however, as he was much too busy watching the Cartoon Network to be bothered about things like talking to parents. Shortly after I arrived, a nurse came over with two syringes of meds - steroids and antibiotics, so I asked her about them and then, when her only real reply was that the doctor had ordered them, I asked if they could wait until after rounds, so that we knew more about what was going on. She was fine with that, and we didn’t have long to wait for the consultant. He examined Jack and asked us all the same questions everybody else had asked in the last 24 hours. I questioned the oral steroids and was told they hardly ever gave IV steroids on the ward - so Jack could have had the IV line out last night, but anyway…I also asked about the antibiotics, and the consultant looked a bit at a loss, and asked the junior doctor on rounds about it. She said that she had felt they were unnecessary, but the other doctor who’d been on duty last night had ordered them. That was the same doctor who’d told me, an hour or so earlier, that it was almost certainly viral - so much for avoiding the overuse of antibiotics! The consultant agreed that they really didn’t seem necessary, so at least Jack avoided the second dose of those. He did get a second dose of oral steroids though, and we got to hear the words we’d been waiting for: “I think he can go home today.”

It took a while to pry Jack from the television screen in order to give him the final (we hope) dose of steroids, teach him how to use an inhaler and spacer, remove his IV line and get him dressed, but we were out of the hospital by about 10 o’clock. Jack didn’t stop talking the whole way home in the car, so we were reassured that he was on the mend! He’s to use the inhaler for the next couple of days and then play things by ear. He seems much, much better now though, and has spent the day full of energy as usual - I thought he might sleep this afternoon after missing so much sleep last night, but there was no chance.

It’s incredibly stressful having a child in hospital - not just because you’re worried about the child, but also because of all the extra arrangements that have to be made for who will be where when and what will happen with the other children. The two girls who were on Jack’s ward had both been in for weeks - I really don’t know how parents manage that or longer stays. Most of the staff were very pleasant - one of the reasons I usually head for the Children’s Hospital rather than the nearest Casualty is that you know you’ll find staff who’ve chosen to work with children rather than those who just tolerate them as a necessary part of the job. We really only encountered one nurse who was unwilling to do everything she could to help us, and one doctor who was less than communicative (the one who saw Jack on the ward last night). The consultant, when I told him I’d be questioning everything, said “That’s the right way to do it!” - which is an attitude I’ve noticed is usually found in doctors who are good at what they do and confident about their abilities - the ones who aren’t so great at their jobs are more defensive, in my experience. I did find it frustrating that most staff just did things without notice or explanation though - I know sometimes there isn’t a lot of time, but just a few extra seconds can make a big difference, and sometimes the explanation could even be given while they’re doing whatever it is - for example, when the nurse was putting anaesthetic cream on the backs of Jack’s hands while we were in Casualty, she didn’t tell us what it was or why it was being done - I knew what it was and figured out what it was for, but she wasn’t to know that, and it wouldn’t have taken three seconds to explain while she smeared it on and covered it - and knowing allowed me to prepare Jack for what was going to happen. Small things like that can make a big difference to patients and their parents. When Freddy was not much more than a year old, he fell onto some broken glass and split his forehead open - there was masses of blood, pouring down through his eyes and through all the layers of clothing on both of us - and when the bleeding had subsided in Casualty, the doctor said he’d be going for a skull x-ray. I spent the next two hours thinking they thought he might have a fractured skull, when in fact all they were doing was checking for fragments of glass in the wound. A second to add “…that will show up any glass that’s left in the wound” would have saved me those two hours of worry.

I don’t mean to complain - the hospital staff were very good and caring, and I’ve no complaints about the treatment apart from the unnecessary antibiotics. I’m just getting it all off my chest really. It’s been a very stressful weekend for all of us; I’m glad it’s over and hope we never have to repeat it or anything like it.

• Getting him home - as soon as we can convince him to get dressed! #
• Have had a couple of hours sleep, but still exhausted. J seems fine, tho miffed bc can’t find Zoombinis CD. G&F have taken apart bunkbeds!!! #

Another one of those silly things that tells you what you say the most. I’m sure I say “argh” more often that it claims though

Thanks to Sarah for the tweetcloud link - here’s a snapshot, but if you follow this direct link you can also hover over the words in mine and see how often they occur. I usually use initials when referring to the kids, and they seem to have been stripped out, which is unfortunate, but it’s still a bit of fun.

• @tworedboots I think there’s something wrong with tweetcloud. Only 5 arghs there for me but I’m sure I must say it more than that #
• This AM: S to work, then speech therapy for T. T dressed and ready, J not so cooperative. This PM: knitting Adipose, I think… #
• Children bopping to 80s music in back of car #
• Think J feeling better: he’s ordering everyone else around. #
• Home for lunch before going to see friends. Soooo tired; lack of weekend sleep really hitting now. #
• Finally phoned friend who is moving overseas soon. *Must* get together soon. #
• At friends house discussing harry potter! #
• @nattyem I think if you use Advanced Category Excluder and exclude calendar posts from your rss feed it would work #
• Wondering if my children are ever going to go to bed. #

• @tworedboots I think there’s something wrong with tweetcloud. Only 5 arghs there for me but I’m sure I must say it more than that #
• This AM: S to work, then speech therapy for T. T dressed and ready, J not so cooperative. This PM: knitting Adipose, I think… #
• Children bopping to 80s music in back of car #
• Think J feeling better: he’s ordering everyone else around. #
• Home for lunch before going to see friends. Soooo tired; lack of weekend sleep really hitting now. #
• Finally phoned friend who is moving overseas soon. *Must* get together soon. #
• At friends house discussing harry potter! #
• @nattyem I think if you use Advanced Category Excluder and exclude calendar posts from your rss feed it would work #
• Wondering if my children are ever going to go to bed. #

• Drinking tea and facebooking while I think about what I need to do and pack for next few days. #
• Arrived. Forgot dvds, pasta. Have 1 pair socks, on feet. Can only find 1 bike lock. But have sun, tea and knitting so all ok. #
• Veg-chili soup and various sandwiches for lunch. All children talking at once. #
• Walking with a 2yo is v slow when he wants to watch his shadow - esp when you’re going south. #
• Feeding hungry children - they haven’t left *me* anything! #
• No prizes for guessing which child failed to pack t-shirts or pjs. I have no idea what he actually packed. #

• G and F bickering over whether dishes washed last night are clean enough *sigh* #
• All bickering children sent to playground. T too. I’m using quiet to finally graft toes on lace socks. #
• @HelenHaricot Hope it’s a great birthday and a great year #
• 2 children sheltering in games room from rain, others back here. Think rain will pass soon; sky still blue. #
• Trying to convince kids in for lunch. #
• B in massive strop because he didn’t get *all* the leftover tortellini to himself. Gotta love puberty. #
• There’s a helicopter flying *very* low, around this area, over and over. I wonder what’s going on? #
• I made G and F go outside. G just rode past the window and snorted at me. I don’t think my laughter was the reaction he was going for lol #
• F has just ridden past window wearing T’s hat - over his face. #
• And now J doing the same thing. A dare, I’m told. #
• J not well - breathing ok, just…not well. T wanting to sleep soon, so doing dinner early, then dvd, then bed. #
• Sent B to shop for apples. He just came in calling ‘honey, I’m home!’ lol #
• One child asleep, one more in bed, two more going in 5 minutes. I know they’ll probably be up early tomorrow but it’s worth it. #
• In teaching B to knit, I’ve created a monster: nothing gets done until he’s finished his row! #

• Thought it would be an early start today but slow instead. Nobody even dressed yet. #
• J wants to know if he can go outside to ‘make fun of the good weather’ #
• Hands v swollen, left hand numb. Not happy. If feet, at least could put them up. Not liking thought of 3 more months of this. #
• @MerrilyMe it certainly isn’t any fun. #
• T slammed the cupboard door: That big noise! I do it again… #
• Wondering if I should just ban all talk of Sonic and such in my presence and be done with it. #
• The same, but different: how a message from parent to child B is when passed on by child A. #
• Wishful thinking: that I’d discover I’d miscalculated and that I was really 38 weeks. #
• I’d go to bed now, but I know I’d only wake up in the early hours and not be able to fall asleep again. #

• Listening to very loud children and wondering if they’ll ever decide breakfast is a good idea. #
• Now they’re eating, but they’re not a whole lot quieter. #
• Tidying up and trying to get things into car between showers of rain. #
• Midwife on phone; thinks I’ve carpel tunnel syndrome. Bah. #
• Took coastal route. Have stopped for chips etc. Eating by sea. Sunny and gorgeous. #
• On way home. Have had rain, sun, rain, hail, sun… #
• When we get home I’m always amazed by just how much stuff we had in the car! #
• @cgf similar but cheaper at ikea #
• @SallyM hm, the "stains around the bottom" would put me off lol #
• Why would anyone follow thousands of people on twitter? Is it just a website promotion thing or what? #
• Falling asleep in front of tv, laptop and cheesecake. #

• Planning my exit from bed and what else I have to do today. I’ll start soon. Ish. #
• Looking at the living room in despair. #
• F giving T a piggyback around the room while T shouts "piggybacks!" - we were wondering where that one came from, now we know. #
• Two midwives been and gone; think they’re fighting over me. Weird. BP fine, hands still numb, mw2 convinced it’s carpal tunnel. #
• 13yo and 6yo sharing one pc, 10yo and 8yo sharing another. 2yo at table with magazine. Astonishingly peaceful (note did not say quiet). #
• Not so worried about T’s speech now that he can hold his own in an argument! #
• Feeling a bit shaky and not sure why. #

…that’s what happens when you spend most of the week in an internet-less place. When we’re away at the caravan, twitter is my only contact with the outside world

So in the last week - well, last weekend was not fun, as I’ve said before. Once Jack’s breathing eased, he was more his usual self - posing when a camera was pointed his way, for example:

On Sunday we brought Jack home from the hospital and spent the rest of the day lying around and playing. On Monday morning, Toby had speech therapy, and rather than spend the afternoon at home and falling asleep (and consequently being unable to sleep on Monday night), we went to visit friends, one of whom is one of Jack’s best friends. He spent the afternoon running about like a mad thing, showing absolutely no sign that he’d been hospitalised less than 48 hours earlier. So we felt it was safe to head back to the caravan on Tuesday - making sure to pack Jack’s inhaler and spacer, but fortunately he hasn’t needed them.

I spent the next few days watching children in the playground, or as they cycled around the site. A couple of weeks ago when I was twittering about the wild wind and rain, Merry wondered why we were there - well, here’s part of the answer:

Barney sleeps in the living-room in the caravan - it’s not a very big caravan and he has far more room there than anywhere else - so rather than have him stay up late and be grumpy next day, I often get him to go to bed with Toby in my bed, then I wake him to move him when I’m going to bed. Neither Toby nor Barney seems to mind at all:

And then, when I get up in the morning, this is what I find:

When the weather is bad, you stay inside and play games and knit. Hats, among other things:

And if you’ve any sense, you don’t teach your 13-year-old to knit, because he’ll get addicted and want to stay up late doing it, and nothing will ever get done until he’s finished his row…

Like Jack, Toby also often poses when a camera is aimed his way - but in his case, his intention is often to be cheeky and wind me up. But I can sometimes still manage to get a good photo when he’s busy laughing at himself for the previous one:

We drove home on Friday, taking the coast road, which is longer than the inland route, but much prettier. We had all kinds of weather during the drive, but when it was sunny and bright, we stopped to buy lunch at a chip van and ate it by the sea:

• Wondering how it got to be 10.30. Oh yeah, that’s right, I slept until 9.30. #
• Received a message on Ravelry from the designer of the dancing-skeletons hat - he’s pleased someone made it, I’m pleased it was me! #
• B working on his presentation for French GCSE aural, others doing other studious things. Making up for weekday beach hols! #
• T convinced that Adipose is a "baby fly away home". #

• J is ‘glad you’re not one of those women who’s not going to get married’ because ‘I don’t like them’. Eh? #
• @cgf as someone who worked with that system (and issue slips rather than cards!) - it *was* a faff! #
• @MerrilyMe any frozen veg? For minestrone soup. #
• Speech therapy done. Mobile cashback forms found. Just ju-jitsu badge and mortgage renewal to do then. And kids to deal with. #
• @nattyem am interested to know how you stretch the quarter-packet of pasta to feed four or five people… #
• Trying to stay awake. #
• Picking up CS. Left B tidying kitchen, G sewing badge on F’s gi for tonight’s grading. Need au pair or something. #
• Trying to stay vertical a bit longer. F has gone to ju-jitsu, B to Air Cadets, others here. CS collecting/dropping off things while out. #
• Is carrying a mobile phone to its owner really exciting enough to justify children fighting over who gets to do it? #

• Trying to get moving, but v tired after interrupted night. G up at 1.30 with stomach-ache; me also up several other times as usual. #
• J just up, F getting him breakfast. B getting dressed, G packing. T also "packing"… #
• The thing about getting organised to go away for a few days is that it leaves you needing a few days away.:-S #
• Errands: library - closed until 2. Bank - branch relocated. Letter to drop off - don’t have address. Should have stayed in bed. #
• Just stopped for fuel and the pump’s out of order! ARGH! #
• Stopped for lunch to discover G had thrown up in back of car. How much better can today get? #
• No, I am the only grown-up - lucky me! B is oldest, G is 10 going on 3. #
• Lunch is going to be drive-through, as G now wearing nothing but a t-shirt. #
• @asilon not a word. #
• @tworedboots think smell must have drifted backwards. Only other child in back was F - on DS - poss did not notice! #
• Hoping am not yet at 1000th tweet. Would prefer it to be about something other than vomit! #
• @tworedboots no, just would rather it was on another subject! There, 993! #
• @4isnotenough no prize (unless someone takes pity on me) #
• Have made it to big town near village without further incident. Stopped for food supplies. #
• Arrived in one piece. Just need to remember how to turn on water again! #
• Child who threw up, who was asked at least 3 times if he’d packed underpants and socks…well guess what… #
• T screaming because B crashed into his trike, but he’s offended rather than injured. #
• Kids all in playground. I’m thinking toasted sandwiches for tea, with cuppasoup for anyone who wants more. #
• Ah, quiet. All that running about outside makes for very fast bedtimes. Now very peaceful here. #

• @MerrilyMe hope all goes well w/Fran. It’s great that she’s able to handle it so well. #
• Kids all slept until 8.30ish, now having breakfast. T waiting for others to finish so he can vacuum up crumbs. #
• If one more child starts quizzing me from that bloody QI book, I will scream. #
• Remind me again why I have encouraged logical thinking in my children… #
• Have sent the smartass, I mean the most logical child, to shop. He has taken T with him; it could take a while! #
• Have un-sewn, frogged sleeves, re-knit and re-sewn yoda sweater. Much improved. And ‘yoda’ not in phone dictionary - imagine! #
• Making bangers and mash for lunch. With limited storage and facilities, simple meals are the way to go #
• G’s method of washing dishes appears to involve waving them above a sinkful of water. #
• Reminder to self: band-aids required for car/caravan. Thanks to F for (very loud) reminder. #
• Despite his injuries, F is ‘the strongest child in this family’ because he ‘can take down any of my brothers easily’. Hm. #
• T asleep (having stayed up late enough to put B to bed). F sudokuing to aid his recovery. B cycling and singing Bananaphone. #
• On way to beach #
• It’s sunny but windy on the beach! #
• Back and having hot choc for rewarming purposes. Much less windy here despite distance of only 300 metres! #
• T has been insisting on helping F with a sudoku, and F says he really helped, giving him ideas. ‘He’s the smartest 2 year old’ #
• B on way to shop again - this time alone, on his bike. How do we get through this much bread??? #
• Gorgeous warm sunny evening. Children out making most of it. #
• @tworedboots if you get stuck, you can always call on B - he knows all the relevant french for 12yo’s! #

• People having breakfast and bickering; I think outside asap! Gas just ran out, need to work out how to change it. #
• Got new gas cylinder working but ouch! Not good on poor numb hands #
• T distraught because he isn’t allowed to get the vacuum cleaner out until breakfast over. #
• Gas out again, dammit. Don’t know if other cylinder empty or my connection inadequate. #
• To add to my list of complaints (tho this prob not preg-related): 1 of my eyelids is all swollen. Feel am falling apart bit by bit. #
• I think the bank teller thought I was being rude, but I was only massaging my fingers to try to get some sensation back… #
• Bought cereal bars for us to snack on. 6 for a pound seemed cheap until I nearly choked to death on one! #
• At library. Think will need larger vehicle just for books, never mind people. #
• Back at caravan and looking for bloke who looks after site to ask him to help with my gas cylinders. #
• @PaulGovan yeah, not enough seats. Got 7 in a Voyager now, need more in July. #
• Talked to mortgage man. Hope the kids like gruel. #
• New gas cylinder installed, so can cook and heat if needed. Kids cycling or reading. They borrowed 8 Dr Who books! #
• Felt a bit shaky, lay down. Woke up an hour later… #
• Considering driving home tonight, depending on weather. Waiting to hear forecast. #
• J has been discussing the concept of infinity - but keeps calling it insanity. He might have a point. #
• @4isnotenough I don’t need you to blame me for things; I have children for that! #

• Just received date and time for aural component of B’s French exam. May 7th. He’ll have to get stuck into his presentation this weekend. #
• @PaulGovan We are currently seven-and-two-thirds. #
• @themightyone lol and I’m helping…or not helping, depending on your point of view! #
• Drinking Innocent Smoothies to try to make up for my appalling track record with fruit. #
• @themightyone Nothing wrong with toasties. I’m trying to find a sandwich-toaster that makes four rounds and has removable plates. #
• @themightyone nah, i want a proper cuts-em-seals-em one. we’ve got a george thingy, OH likes it but I want a sandwich-maker! #
• @themightyone ribena’s are made from concentrate. also i’d rather give my money to the "innocent" people than glaxo! #
• Wondering where T gets all that energy! #
• @themightyone yep, have a food processor that juices, but that would require more effort lol #
• @themightyone if you only need 2 at a time, you can get removable plates easily. 4 at a time for some reason don’t have them! #
• mortgage man on phone again. might not have to live on gruel after all. will hear more on monday. fingers crossed (& donations welcome lol) #
• Left caravan keys with friends. Now waiting at world’s slowest level crossing. #
• Would like to shoot that Braxton Hicks bloke #
• @HelenHaricot was truly weird uterine activity, also fainting and sweats. like end-1st-stage but much worse. def not dehydration tho. #
• just back from hosp, went in ambulance! preterm labour? me? not likely! seemed that way tho. signed out ama. will get midwife to review a.m. #

Friday night, I’m sitting on my bed finishing up a phone-call. And I feel really strong tightening across my lower abdomen - really strong. And I’m thinking, “Phew, this is a heck of a Braxton-Hicks!” And it gets stronger, and stronger, until it’s really painful. This isn’t right. I call Barney and ask him to go fetch Scratchy, who helps me to the bathroom. Moving hurts, but then so does staying still. So I sit on the loo, and then I realise things are going black, so I lie down on the floor. I don’t realise I’ve actually passed out until I hear Scratchy calling me and saying so, and telling me I was shaking and breathing oddly while I was out. I’m feeling dizzy and sick. I ask for a cold wet cloth, and put it on my forehead, on my neck. I get back on the loo, then feel dizzy again and lie down again. I pass out again. I get a drink of water and get back to bed. I’m drenched in sweat. I can’t get my words together, my thoughts together. The abdominal pain is still really bad. I’m feeling absolutely dreadful. I phone the maternity hospital but I can’t talk properly - feeling too ill. They tell me to go in. Scratchy says he’ll drive, but I’m not happy about that idea - and I’m still in so much pain that I’m thinking an ambulance will have entonox on-board - so I phone an ambulance. I get as far as saying “ambulance please” before I have to hand the phone to Scratchy and pass out again.

Ambulance arrives, paramedics try to get me out of bed to get me downstairs. I manage to get up with help, but immediately feel I’m going to faint again, so lie on the floor. Paramedics saying “you need to stay with us”, I’m trying to tell them I’m going to pass out. They decide to put me in a chair and carry me down the stairs; I’m only vaguely aware of what’s going on. Barney has been sent next door to ask neighbour K to come in and sit with kids.

In the ambulance they tell me we’re going to hospital M, I say no, no SCBU there and if I’m having a 29-week gestation baby, we’ll need one. Hospital R has excellent SCBU and is only a minute further away, I convince them to take me there and paramedic spends time on phone convincing dispatchers to let him do it. Blood pressure low, even for me. Blood sugar fine. Pulse fast. Pain in abdomen subsiding but now coming in waves and more involvement of upper uterus. Paramedic convinced I’m in labour and clearly worried that he’s about to catch a 29-week baby but also clearly reassured that having had five babies before, I at least have a clue about what I’m doing…

Get to hospital. By now I’m feeling more with it, my brain function and speech more restored. Onto monitor. Regular contractions, enough to distract me but not very strong. Abdominal pain less. Baby’s heart on the fast side, but going up and down with contractions as it’s meant to. Things much calmer now.

Trace on monitor looks like early labour, but exam shows cervix closed. Swab taken. Protein in urine - was clear a few hours ago. Baby’s heart-rate normal - still going up and down with contractions but no longer on high side. Doctor insists on ultrasound to check baby’s position - I can’t see why that’s relevant since it’s clear I’m not in labour, but agree to very fast one - she takes much longer than I’m happy with, but everything looks fine. Baby is “breech” - again, not relevant unless I’m in labour. Doctor says if baby breech and I’m in labour they will “have to” do a c-section. I think “that’s an argument we’ll save until I’m actually in labour”.

Hospital wants me to be admitted and to have steroid injections to mature baby’s lungs. I’m not keen - I don’t feel the baby’s coming soon. The contractions are regular but don’t feel productive, I’m not dilated at all. Talk it over with Scratchy and suggest we decline steroids, go home, get a night’s sleep and I get community midwife out to review in morning. Hospital doctor not very happy with this, but will see midwife in only ten or twelve hours and can return to hospital then if necessary - and if contractions start getting somewhere before that, we can be back in under 30 minutes.

No car at hospital - Scratchy came in ambulance at my request, though he couldn’t have followed us anyway since the ambulance didn’t know where it was going until half-way there! So Scratchy phones K (neighbour) and asks if she would mind coming to pick us up.

Hospital gets me to sign AMA form (to say I’m leaving against their advice), then kicks me out of exam room as fast as they can…

Saturday morning: home shortly after midnight, had a reasonable night’s sleep. No more abdominal pain. Can feel uterine tightenings if I pay attention, but not enough to distract me from anything else. Phoned midwives’ office at 9 and left a message, midwife showed up at door less than an hour later, not having received my message yet, but having had a phone-call from the hospital. All looks fine this morning. She suspects UTI with very fast onset, suggests getting antibiotics to have in house in case things start again (UTI can cause pre-term labour). Baby active and well. Me too. She thinks we did the right thing in choosing to come home.

Plan: prescription for antibiotics arranged, will collect them this afternoon but not start them. Will continue to check urine for protein and leucocytes; if anything suspicious or any more contractions, will start antibiotics. If contractions feeling productive or anything else happening that’s slightly worrying, will phone midwife on-call, or head to hospital, depending on how worrying it is. Otherwise, help Barney work on his French GCSE presentation, relax and knit.

Ending up at hospital on two of three weekends was not in the game-plan. And nobody but nobody ever expected me to be suspected of pre-term labour. Ain’t life a blast?

• things seem more settled, phoning midwife when office opens to ask her to come out and review, hosp wanted to admit. all v weird last night #
• Midwife been and gone; suspects UTI. Ordered a/bs but not taking unless more signs. All calm now. Blog post on way shortly. #

• Just been ordered to turn off my music - by my 6-year-old. #
• @asilon @jaxb you can set @ replies to whatever you want - http://tinyurl.com/29wnjw #
• Had to phone hospital to see if 8yo needed to go in. Damn fool child swallowed a rod from a magnetic set. Hosp says watch and wait. ARGH! #

I’m trying to think of what has happened in the past week, as this blog has been populated almost entirely by twitter updates (I usually have them set so they’re not visible on the front page, but since I’ve been away from the internet so much recently, I changed it on a temporary basis), but for some reason I’m having trouble remembering anything that happened prior to Friday night. Odd, that…

Okay, so let’s resort to the tweets again to aid my failing memory. Monday was spent catching up on things which needed done - like phone-calls to the mortgage people (I can’t believe we’ve been here three years already) and organising mobile phone contract cashback documents. George started to sew on Freddy’s new ju-jitsu badge - why the heck do they need to be so gigantic? They really are unreasonably huge. George wimped out part-way around it and someone else finished - I’m assuming Scratchy, since Barney doesn’t sew unless sat on, and my hands were much too numb to be poking needles through ju-jitsu gis with them. We had Toby’s last speech therapy appointment for a while - the therapist is now off on maternity leave, and in traditional NHS fashion, no replacement has been arranged. She’s pleased with Toby’s progress, however, so he’s down for review in August or September when she returns - although how long it will take her to catch up is anyone’s guess.

In the evening Barney went to Air Cadets and came home with a camp permission form with no dates. I’m told it’s sometime in the summer. Freddy went to ju-jitsu, did his grading, and came home with a brand new shiny green belt - although he did hide it and try to fake me out that he hadn’t qualified, but just as I was about to commiserate and say he’d do better next time, his serious look fell apart

Tuesday - ah, now that I read my tweets for last Tuesday, it all comes flooding back in glorious detail. I’d a slow start, with my body not particularly keen to cooperate with my head’s intentions, but we did manage to pack for the caravan and make it out of the house around lunchtime, when Scratchy brought the car back from work. I left him back, then went to the library to return books, but found the library closed until 2 p.m. - since it was only about noon, I wasn’t waiting. Then I went to the bank, only to discover that the most convenient branch had closed - or, as they euphemistically put it, “transferred”. But I don’t think it counts as a “transfer” when the branch it has transferred to already existed, and I had no intention of fighting the horrendous parking situation around that branch. My next errand involved dropping off a letter which had been delivered to me instead of to the person who needs to deal with it, except that I couldn’t remember her address and couldn’t get hold of her on her mobile. Thwarted again. I stopped to buy fuel for the car, and carefully made my way in beside the pump on a small, busy forecourt - bear in mind that I had four bicycles attached to the back of my car by way of a carrier designed for three - got out of the car to find a sticker over the pump saying it was out of order.

Briefly considered going home and back to bed, but decided to press on. I’d hoped to arrive at the caravan in time for a late lunch, but having wasted so much time on unsuccessful errands, it was clear that wasn’t going to happen, so I decided to buy lunch on the way. That, however, required cash - of which I had none (having not been to the bank yet…) so I needed both a cash machine and a food outlet. I found the cash machine and asked George to do something, only for him to say in a rather pathetic voice, “I can’t, I’ve thrown up all over myself.” This led to an exchange on twitter between me and several other parents who were somewhat incredulous that he had not said anything and that I had not noticed. As I pointed out, he was two rows behind me and the only person beside him was Freddy, who was immersed in DS-play so might well have missed the entire episode.

I got George stripped and cleaned up as much as possible by the side of the road, found a clean tee-shirt in his bag and got him back in the car wearing that and nothing else. He was adamant that he was hungry, but it was clear that lunch was going to be a drive-through experience - fast food restaurants might not be very formal, but they’re a little more formal than tee-shirts with naked boy-bits hanging out below them. So drive-through it was.

We made it to the big town near the caravan without further incident and I stopped to buy food supplies for the next few days - and also bought new tee-shirts for me, as none of my old ones cover my bump. I asked where the men’s tee-shirts were and a staff member took me there and tried to help - asking what colour I preferred etc, but frankly the only thing I was bothered about was that they were the largest size available. I spent £8 on four tees - living it up, as usual and then we drove the few miles to the caravan, where I put George in the shower (once I remembered how to turn on the water) and told him to get clean underwear and socks from his bag. “I can’t, I didn’t pack any.”

Deep breath. Several hours earlier, I had stood on the landing, looked George in the eye and said, “Do you have clean underpants and socks in your bag?” - and I’d asked at least three times, because, you see, I know George. And each time, George had replied in a very definite and here-I-am-being-sensible-for-once voice, “Yes.”

So there was George, sockless and commando for the next few days - and wearing the same denim dungarees for the next few days too, as he’d only packed one extra pair of trousers. About five sweaters, but only one pair of trousers…

Why do I do it? Well, here’s a view from the road approaching the village where the caravan lives. See that gorgeous blue sky? See that thin dark blue stripe at the bottom of it? That’s the ocean.

And here’s a view of part of the beach - the busy end. Admit it, you can see the attraction.

The boys spent the rest of the day scooting about the site on their bicycles, playing in the playground, etc - all of which left them very ready to go to sleep when bedtime arrived (and I can’t say I wasn’t grateful!) Mostly. Barney took Toby to my bed to cuddle him to sleep, as he often does in the caravan. Ten minutes later, Toby came trotting back to me at the other end of the van. Investigation showed that Barney was fast asleep. Toby, however, kept bouncing about for another hour…

They didn’t even wake up early on Wednesday morning - it was about 8.30 before anyone started to emerge. It didn’t take Barney long, however, to start being annoyingly pedantic (I can’t think where he gets that from…) so I thought of something we needed from the shop in the village and sent him to get it. I offered him the choice of cycling on his own, or walking with Toby - he chose the latter and the two of them had a lovely outing together. Meanwhile I fixed the sweater I was knitting for the baby (the sleeves weren’t wide enough when it was made according to the pattern), and added a hat to match:

We went down to the beach in the afternoon, well wrapped up in coats and hats, but it was a tad windy down there so we didn’t stay long. Back at the van we had hot chocolate to warm up. The difference in wind-strength between the beach and the van was quite amazing, given what a very short distance it is and that there’s really only one row of buildings between them!

On Thursday morning the making of my breakfast (by Barney) was rudely interrupted when the gas ran out - I tried to move the thingy to a different cylinder, but wasn’t sure it was properly connected (it can be quite difficult to connect at the best of times, and having hands that couldn’t feel much of anything wasn’t helping) or if the second cylinder was also empty. Having checked the forecast before leaving the internet home, I knew that this was to be the dullest part of the week, with the possibility of showers, so had planned to go into the big town. I finally found a bank to go to, and we topped up our supplies (bread and milk - and smoothies, to make up for the fact that I really don’t do fruit) and went to the library, where the boys had a great time exploring a new-to-them library, and borrowed every Doctor Who book they could find, as well as a fair few others.

Back to the caravan for lunch, followed by hunting around the caravan park for the bloke who maintains it - he’s a very pleasant, helpful man (and, according to Barney, looks like Bruce Willis) and when I explained the problem he came straight over to check. Both cylinders were indeed empty, and he put one of them in his white van and went to get me a new one, then attached the new one for me.

At about 4.30, I was feeling a bit shaky, so I asked Barney to watch Toby and went to lie down for a little while. I woke an hour later. This unplanned nap led to a bit of a burst of energy after dinner, and after hearing the weather forecast for the next 24 hours (cold overnight, windy with showers for Friday), I decided to drive home on Thursday night rather than wait until Friday (and have to pack and load the car, including bicycles, with even-number-than-usual-because-it’s-early-in-the-day hands). Barney helped me clear the caravan out, and when the others returned on their bikes, they all helped get everything into the car and get the bikes on the back - I was very impressed that within 45 minutes of the decision being made, we were driving away. Most of the children fell asleep on the way home, although not until after Jack had thoroughly discussed infinity with anyone who’d listen to him - except that he kept calling it “insanity”.

Friday was largely uneventful until 8.33 p.m. when I had what at first appeared to be the world’s strongest Braxton-Hicks contraction but which rapidly turned into sweating, fainting and feeling at least as bad as I did a few years ago when I had septicemia. That whole story is already on the blog, a few posts down from this one (or one post down, if I’ve altered the twitter-feed settings again), so enough said. I spent the weekend taking it easy, peeing on sticks and encouraging Barney in his efforts to polish his presentation for his French GCSE aural. I finished my fingerless gloves, and having been nagged throughout their production by Toby - “Dees too big for me! You make me gloves now?” - I also made him a pair of mittens, shaped like little mice - except that I haven’t a scrap of pink yarn in the house with which to make the knots for the noses, so they’re not quite finished. On Sunday morning I was playing a Mika CD in the living-room when Jack came in looking angry and said, “Can you turn that off, because it’s annoying me!” Erm…hang on, isn’t it supposed to be the parents who say that to the kids?

Early in the evening my neighbour K (the one who was so helpful on Friday night) came in to see how I was; about ten minutes after she arrived, George came into the room to tell me Freddy had swallowed a magnetic rod. He’s supposedly the sensible one… in accordance with advice from the children’s hospital, we’re still waiting for it to re-appear…

Today, I’ve been very tired. I can’t think why…

• Sleeping off the weekend. That used to mean I’d been partying - bit of a change there! #
• Wondering where I could get six inches of pink yarn. I am not buying a ball of yarn just for two french knots! #
• @4isnotenough - am assuming that when you say "some", you mean pink yarn, and not, erm, something else…if so, excuse to visit! #
• @tworedboots no, not urgent - needed for noses on gloves (will explain on blog) but am sure can find some locally if think hard enough! #
• @ragtimebabe thanks for the offer but I’m sure I’ll find something, and if not, I’ll scrounge from 4isnotenough, who’s a bit more local #

• One magnetic rod retrieved. Nuff said. #
• @themightyone well, i’m glad it’s over and done with, let’s put it that way! #
• @mazportico we could almost fill that - but we could never afford to insure it! #

• T is exploring different ways to count to 10 on his fingers. He’s just realised you don’t have to do 1-5 on 1 hand, then 6-10 on the other. #
• My children’s definition of tidy is not even close to mine. Am wondering if should go and look in the kitchen, or if should just pretend. #
• Friends here - lots of children running about, but B lying in bed pick. #
• B not pick but sick. Not so sick to send me a tweet correcting my tweet though! #
• Busy afternoon with friends - lovely to see them despite tiringness of full house - not helped by B throwing up and *not saying anything*! #
• Some days are just disgusterous. #
• @RubbishParent well he managed to get it *on* plenty… #
• All kids in bed, only one asleep though. B still sick. Looking forward to it not being April 2008! #

• @MerrilyMe But are you sure they’ve packed socks and underwear? #
• Suspect I have wasted morning & a couple of hours of NHS time. Quite fed up with getting what we didn’t request instead of what we did. #
• Have just made the 13yo son of a friend very happy by fixing the wp database running his much-love-and-effort Pokemon website. #
• T and J are playing rock-paper-scissors to decide which of them should get out of the bathtub first. #
• @4isnotenough B has finally managed to pull out a loose molar today. He says he’s going to leave 6 teeth for the tooth fairy. Uhuh. #

It’s been a quiet week. Ish. Because let’s face it, when you’ve five children, you don’t get much closer than ish to quiet without throwing them all out, and while I’ve sometimes been tempted, I haven’t really got the energy…

Mostly I’ve been parenting by remote control - that is, I’ve been sitting about and trying to keep tabs on what’s going on around the house without actually getting up and going to look. Freddy’s magnetic-rod episode resolved itself, to everyone’s relief (although I have to admit that a sizeable chunk of my relief was that my part of the process was over) - and that’s as much as I’m going to say on that subject. Toby realised that when counting to ten on his fingers, he didn’t have to take one hand at a time - that he could go right thumb, right pointer finger, left thumb, right middle finger, left pointer, etc. I love watching their faces as their minds figure these things out.

Before getting up on Wednesday, I sent various children to various rooms to ensure they were tidy. In some cases, I asked specific questions: Were there toys shoved in the corner between the two sofas in the living-room? Was there anything on the floor behind the door? - and so on. Assured that everything had been tidied, I emerged from upstairs, only to (re)discover that the children’s definition of “tidy” was very different to mine, and that “no” in response to “are there books under the table?” actually meant “yes, about 24 of them”. Hrm. We were expecting guests - them and us using the excuse that I needed a tiny bit of pink yarn for mice’s noses (and why on earth would I have any pink yarn here?) - so I felt obliged to at least provide a clear path from the front door to somewhere they could sit and have a cup of tea, so further orders were barked instructions were given. Shortly after receiving a text-message from the guests telling me they’d be here in about thirty minutes, I was informed by Barney that he’d been in the bathroom, throwing up. Lovely. He went on to spend most of the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom, repeating the performance. He did occasionally emerge - long enough to throw up on his bed, for example, and later, long enough to go into George and Freddy’s room and throw up in a corner there - and not say a word about it. I only discovered what had happened when I went into the room and thought “ew, it’s a bit whiffy in here”, headed for the window to open it and stood in something wet, which I am absolutely certain was only the spilled water from the cup he’d had (and the only reason I have for my certainty is that I want it, okay?) When asked why he hadn’t said anything, he told me that he thought that Freddy or George would tell me - they’d both been there at the time - but apparently neither of them had noticed a thing - either the act or the whiff

At one point I sent a text-message to twitter saying that Barney was sick - or rather, thanks to predictive phone-text, “pick” - and shortly received a twi