NotSheep

Barney and George have been to drama - a huge turnout this week: them and one other child. Still, they had a good time from the sounds of it.

The rest of us have been to the bank and the library, where we left the books we’d been able to find, but didn’t have the nerve to borrow any more, there being too many of them still invisibly occupying our house just now. In between the two stops, Jack asked, in a very serious tone, “Do we have a magic carpet?” Hm, useful as that might be, I think he might have noticed by now…

We went to the indoor playground too. Barney had decided he was too old for such things, so took his GameBoy so he could play with it in the café while the others were in the play-area. There’s an under-fours area right beside the café; I’d hoped Barney would play with Toby in there for a while so I could have a cup of tea and a chat with the friend who’d suggested the trip in the first place.

The woman at the entry-desk didn’t believe that only four of my five children were using the play area; she very obviously and suspiciously counted them all. Then, after I told her Barney wasn’t going in, she told me no less than four times that he had to keep his shoes on and stay in the café - which was fine, because that’s what his plan involved anyway. But I had to “watch him and make sure he doesn’t go in”. And he wasn’t to be allowed to go into the under-fours area to sit beside Toby and play with him; I had to do that too, because only people over 18 are allowed in there. “And if you were 16 or 17 and had a child you’d actually given birth to?” I asked. She looked blankly at me, then said “Well no, you have to be over 18 to go in there.”

So I had to both stay with Barney, just in case he was suddenly overcome with desire to climb on the shiny plastic, and also stay with Toby in the under-fours area…where Barney wasn’t allowed to be. Which would have meant me being in two places at once, except that it was three, because she’d already told me I had to supervise George, Freddy and Jack in the bigger-kids’ play area. I can do many things, but triplicating myself isn’t one of them. Never mind; I took the easy way out and didn’t point out that she’d just told me to do the impossible.

And then Jack took his shoes off, and revealed that he hadn’t put any socks on. Oh, the indoor playground could sell me a pair. For £2.

I asked for my money back, apologised to my friend, and left.

I am annoyed right now for many reasons. I’m annoyed that my son did not do what he was told. I’m annoyed that the woman at the indoor playground clearly thought we were trying to pull a fast one and only (only!) pay for four children when five were going in. I’m annoyed that she assumed that Barney couldn’t be trusted, that he’d whip off his shoes and jump into the play area as soon as I wasn’t watching him. I’m annoyed that they have stupid rules that effectively say that no one parent with a child under four and a child over four can use the place. I’m annoyed that we had to let down our friends. I’m annoyed that, having charged quite a lot for the children to enter (£5 per child, for one hour), the facility then over-charges for socks too. And the café isn’t exactly cheap either.