Mysteries of the universe
Y’know, we really shouldn’t worry about how many planets there are and whether Pluto counts. Or if the universe is infinite. Or even how old it is. Because there are plenty of equally mysterious questions much closer to home.
Much, much closer to home.
You want examples? Okay.
How can one child making breakfast for a few other children manage to leave every single flat surface in the kitchen covered in crumbs, butter, utensils, and even a few things that don’t appear, at first glance or any other time, to be in any way related to the process of making breakfast. It was only toasted bagels, for goodness sake!
How can children, told to gather their library books so we can go to the library after lunch, not realise that thirtyish library books would be easier to carry if they were in a bag. Even when the instruction was “gather the library books and put them in a bag”. Even when there is actually an assigned bag which is used only for library books. Bear in mind that said children go to the library approximately every two to three weeks and have been doing so for years. And that this particular conversation occurs approximately 70% of those times 
Why a four-year-old will insist that he’d rather have dry toast than have scrambled egg on it and then, five minutes later, want to know why the now-covered-in-scrambled-egg toast (because he changed his mind) tastes “yummier than ordinary toast”. Note that this was not just a comment on said four-year-old’s part; it was a demand for an explanation.
Why my toaster produces slightly-dried-out-but-still-colourless bread on setting number 4, but large hard black crackers on setting number 5.
Where the four-year-old’s other shoe is.
Why children (or maybe it’s just male children, or maybe it’s just children under 12, or maybe it’s just male children under 12) don’t open the curtains in their bedrooms. Even when they’ve been told to do so every morning for over a year. Even when they’ve been told several times in one morning to do it. Even when they’re told again when the parent notices the curtains are still closed at 1 p.m. (while looking for the four-year-old’s other shoe).
How a parent, specifically the female kind, can feel twice as busy with six children in the house as she did when there were five children in the house. Or even how it’s possible to feel twice as busy as when there were five children in the house anyway 
Why the French word “pâté”, translated into English, is still “pâté”. I have to admit that this one doesn’t particularly bother me, but apparently it’s important to certain other people. I tried to offer examples of the reverse being true (like “le weekend”), but it turned out that that didn’t really help matters.
Why I’m wearing a belt. (See comment on list-item immediately preceding this one. Again, not something that’s keeping me awake at night.)
How a man can read a recipe for chili, then go grocery-shopping, and still be missing half the ingredients. I kid you not: half of them. Including very basic things like, oh, onions.
(Okay, that last one might be a generalisation. Maybe it’s not all men. But I can certainly name one. I’m guessing that by this point, you can probably name him too.)
Whether there’s one “l” or two in “chili/chilli”. The prepared dish, that is, not the raw peppers or the spice. The thing we were going to eat for dinner tonight.
Why I’m hiding right now. Okay, that one’s easy.
I’m sure I’ll think of more. In fact I’ve a sneaking suspicion I’ve written a similar post before. But these are the things on my mind right now.
I bet you can come up with some of your own. Leave me a comment. If you relate to any of the above, please also comment - it might not make me feel any better but it’s worth a go. If your house is all sweetness and light and absolutely no disagreement or awkward questions ever, please don’t comment; it would only depress me.
In: conversations, exchange, family, food, life
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why, when someone has been specifically asked to empty the washing machine, would they take 1 look at said washing machine and decide taht it was empty, without bothering to open the door?
ooh, ooh, I have another one: why am I the only one to realise that washing clothes and leaving them in a damp pile for a week isn’t really any better than not washing them in the first place!
why, when my name is listed in the box above as mamadillo is it showing up on the page as trogette??!!
Yay, one I know the answer to!
It’s because your “nickname” on your account on this blog is trogette. You can go to your profile and change it to whatever you want (but please, keep it clean ;-))
why children don’t register the word
“don’t”
example.
Don’t go on the computer your brother is on it
translates to
” go in there and drag your brother off then wrestle on the floor while screaming at me to help”
because that is clearly what I meant to say
mardi, that’s why I try to avoid saying ‘no’ as much as I can, in any form it comes in, cos it’s just not heard. With ‘don’t’ they have to think about what it is you’re saying ‘don’t’ and they they forget that you’ve said ‘don’t’ It’s like me saying ‘don’t think about the elephant,’ you’re left going ‘elephant? what elephant?!’ and then look! you’re thinking about elephants.
hard to do but gets better with practice, like a lot of things.
Deb… do not get me started on the laundry thing.
*prods trog with a big stick* - go on, tell us about your laundry!
I used to not say DON’T and NO but those days went long ago, somewhere around the time I started pulling them off each other LOL.
here’s another one. Why am I hungry again??!
Mmmmm am tempted to say everything is all sweetness and light here lol, but then my 14yr old has been away for the weekend. She’s due home anytime so that wont last lol. If you think it gets better with age …. don’t am sure she’s worse now than then.
http://othena.blogspot.com/
LA LA LA LA LA *sung loudly with fingers in ears*
I’m the only person i this house that opens curtains. Ever. I am the only person who switiches a light off when I leave the room. Ever. I am the only person who puts new toilet rolls or kitchen rolls in the holder. Or cleans the toilet.Or remembers that shutting the door of the dihwasher/washing machine is not enough to switch it on. It has a little start button for that. Who never walks up or down the stairs empty handed, though *some* people are actually capable of missing two steps out and jumping if the stairs are blocked with crud. On the plus side (I’m sure there has to be one), I rarely food shop, and for the last year, have rarely cooked. I sort of miss it, but I do get fed much better when I’m not in charge.
ROFL over the jumping two steps to avoid the stuff piled waiting - that sounds familiar!
Thank you for the laugh, I needed it!
I’m the only person who thinks it appropriate to turn off the TV when you leave the house. I mean, I’m not asking for miracles, like turning it off when you leave the room. Just when we’re going to leave the house, lock the door behind us, etc, etc. It won’t take much imagination for you to realise that I don’t even attempt with lighting.
Curtains in bedrooms? You’re supposed to OPEN them?? Oh… well there’s another question then: why??
Oh, and it’s one l in chili as in the meal. I’m pretty sure, anyway. I sometimes put two ls in but that’s because I’m thinking of the entirely different word ‘chilly’.
Yes, you’re supposed to open the bedroom curtains. If you don’t, the lights stay on all day, because donchaknow, it’s better to have electrical light that you have to pay for rather than the free stuff from outside the window…
chili con carne looks more ‘right’ than chilli con carne I think.
I was going to make a comment about how come I’m the only one in the house that can switch off night lights in the morning (you know, the low energy one that’s on the landing that stays on all night for those emergency toilet dashes).
Why am I the only one who understands that putting washing in the washing basket makes it more likely to get washed (do other ppl’s children store their dirty socks under the sofa?)
Other people’s HUSBANDS store their dirty socks under the sofa.
We don’t have night-lights here, but every light in the house seems to be put on in the morning and then left on until I turn it off…
As for socks under the sofa… no, but certainly in many other places!
I take it back about the chili/chilli thing.
How can a toddler be 95% reliable for toilet when out but *really not* when at home?
Why’d you take it back? I was convinced…
The internets seem to think chili con carne is right. And the Red Hot Chili Peppers agree.
I’d like to know the answer to this mystery…
How come I spend every waking moment of my life tidying, but yet my house is never tidy?
Erm… pass?
this is obviously why I spend so little time tidying, it’s that ol’ pushing the a big rock up a hill thing… and iirc chilli con carne is different to chili peppers. and the BBC agrees
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/chilliconcarne_67875.shtml
Why the words “no” “you” and “can’t” and also the words “please” “put” “your” “shoes” and “on” become indecipherable when placed next to each other in a sentence.
Why it takes an extra 45 minutes to get 4 children out of the house if i’ve got Max helping me.
Why Max can’t get two children out of the house without my help or a display of exhausted helplessness.
Why pregnancy brings extra fat but not extra arms.
Why an exhausted 2 year old (nearly) can sleep for 45mins at 11.30am and then manage to stay wide awake until 11.30pm.
I don’t know the answers to any of those, but can definitely relate to #2 and #3. As for #4 - the extra arms, I have a theory. I think that each time you have a baby, you should grow an extra arm. You’d only get one at a time (mostly) so it wouldn’t be so difficult to get used to. And I would now have seven arms, and I might be just about able to keep up.
Ah, back to curtains in bedrooms… we don’t usually use our bedrooms during the daytime at all, so the lights aren’t on AND the curtains are closed. If someone does go into a bedroom during the daytime, I guess they would open a curtain or two, depending where the sun is. But when our main aim for at least half the year is to keep the house as cool as possible, we keep the bedroom curtains closed when we’re not in them, so the sun doesn’t come pouring in and make them even hotter.
Maybe in winter we’ll start opening them so they get warmer.
Yes, we used to keep curtains closed to keep the heat out too, when we lived in a country where it was actually that hot. And I did it here in Summer 2006 too. But also my children are younger than yours and do still play in their bedrooms, so they are used during the day.
I did have a why but since the person concerned occasionally reads your blog when I point out something interesting and already has a hump the size of Alices I thought I had better not tempt fate in the name of domestic harmony. So perhaps the why should be why is it only I that can do that?!!!
I only ever open curtains too. Taken to frog marching children upstairs to turn off night lights in the hopes it will go in. Also taken to using “STOP” instead of “no”. So “STOP fighting” “STOP asking to have some sweets” Not a huge success so far but I’m hoping!
Children over 12 never open curtains either. Both genders.