NotSheep

About three months ago, Barney and I were having a chat as we walked into town, and I asked him what was the best thing in his life right then. His reply was “Toby”. Then I asked him what was the worst thing in his life right then, and his reply was “Jack”. It’s certainly true that Jack has been driving most of us up the walls for a while now - not through anything terrible, just normal four-year-old testosterone-induced behaviour.^* And if there’s one person he’s been driving nuts more than any of the rest of us, it’s definitely Barney, who is old enough to want the privacy and peace that Jack just won’t/can’t give him right now, but not old enough to always be understanding (heck, I’m not that old), and is, of course, experiencing some hormone fluctuations of his own.

So I was more than a little surprised today to find Barney pleading Jack’s case

I could see that Jack was in one of his getting-into-everything moods, so I was trying to keep him where I could see - or at least hear - him. But I can’t be everywhere at once (I know, I’m a failure as a mother) and when Jack needed to use the bathroom, Toby was falling asleep at the breast, and the downstairs bathroom was in use, so Jack went off upstairs. You can see what’s coming, can’t you? He Got Into Something. Today, “something” was my make-up.

I don’t have a lot of make-up - my going-out routine consists of swiping a powder-brush over my face and putting on a bit of mascara. If I’m really dressing up, I might add some lippy. Mostly, washing my face is about as far as it goes. But like most women I know, I do have a bag of tricks even if I rarely use them.

There are fewer tricks now than there were this morning.

As I stormed around my bathroom, replacing lids and washing the outsides of containers, Barney came upstairs and said, “Don’t be angry with him.” “Why not?!” I said, in a slightly-less-than-completely-calm voice. “Just don’t be angry with him,” said Barney. I stopped. “Hold it… you’re sticking up for Jack?” “Yeah,” he said, “It’s called taking pity on him.”

I told Jack off - of course I did. But I didn’t sound very fierce about it

( ^*Did you know that boys have a testosterone surge at about the age of four? I don’t know why parents of boys aren’t warned about it. Their levels of that particular hormone double - and that has a huge effect on their behaviour. Their bodies are screaming at them, “Run! Jump! Move! Shout! Climb! Yell!” - and what do we as a society do with boys of this age? Put them in school and tell them to sit quietly and listen. Yeah, right. Fortunately the testosterone levels fall back down after a few months, and never get that high again until they hit puberty. If you have a boy in your life who’ll soon be four, just watch.)