NotSheep

You understand the phrase, “Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield.”

You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

You drink pop, not soda.

You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean.

You don’t care about the fuss with Cuba. It’s a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.

You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.

You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion and many more are Canadians.

You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

You know what a touque is.

You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced “Zed” not “Zee”.

You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

You know how to pronounce and spell “Saskatchewan.”

You perk up when you hear the theme song from “Hockey Night in Canada.”

You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

“Eh?” is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, “Huh?”

Winter. Whenever you want it. And then some.

There’s German food, Italian food, Chinese food, Armenian food, American food, but NO Canadian food.

You call a “mouse” a “moose”.

You like the Americans a little because they don’t want Quebec either.

Contests run by anyone other than the government have “skill-testing questions” that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize.

Everything is labelled in English and French.

Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.

Mountain Dew has no caffeine.

You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours.

You make well over $100,000 and you still can’t find a nice place to live.

You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags.

When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell “Woohooo! Patio weather!”

You enjoy watching channel 47 multicultural TV

You’re guaranteed to know at least one person on every episode of Speaker’s Corner.

You haven’t been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator.

You’ve had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years.

You’ve partied with at least one of the members of The Kids in the Hall

You’ve fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma

At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver

You turn your nose up at any establishment frequented by the S&M crowd. (Scarborough and Mississauga)

You never, never, never swim in the lake

You know “The Beaches” are really called “The Beach”, but still say “The Beaches” just to annoy all the nitwits who live there

You ever had a birthday party at the Organ Grinder or The Mad Hatter

You can say “world’s tallest freestanding structure” ten times fast

You know the correct answer to “Where do shopping carts go to die?” is “The Don River”

You speak better Chinese than French

The word “cabbagetown” doesn’t strike you as particularily amusing

Castle Frank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you.

You know what the bathrooms in the First Canadian Place are REALLY for

You don’t know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life

You know the Demic’s song “I Wanna Go To New York City” was intended as sarcasm, not a weekend getaway suggestion

You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai and a dildo at 3 am on a weeknight

For the last time, it’s pronounced ‘TRONNA’!

You consider eye contact a sign of hostility and an invasion of your privacy.

It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends.

You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus.

You know someone who went to high school with at least one member of The Barenaked Ladies or RUSH

You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one.

You’ve taken the vomit comit.

You can manuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks.

You know the difference between souvlaki, moussaka and spanakoptia.

You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM.

You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe