NotSheep

A day of appointments today - optometrist and dentist. It’s probably cruel and inhuman punishment to make dental appointments for your kids for the day after Hallowe’en, but there you go. We left home shortly before 10 - Toby slept nearly the whole way, which made for a much more pleasant journey (at least as far as driving across the city can be pleasant) than his recent cry-until-we-get-there policy does. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at one point, when Barney and George were squabbling in the back of the car. George - Mr Drama - said, in his it’s-the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it voice, “I’m never going to speak to you again ever as long as I live!”. Freddy, Mr Down-to-Earth, said in an almost bored voice, as he turned to look out the window, “You just did.” Such a great illustration of their personalities

We got to town a bit early, so I managed to get to the bank first, then we went to see the dentist. We’re fortunate to have a very nice NHS dentist. She told Barney that he needs to do a better job of cleaning his teeth (maybe he’ll take that more seriously, now that it’s coming from someone other than us? - I live in hope) and said that Freddy’s teeth were fine. Mine too. We don’t know about Jack, since he wasn’t in cooperative form, and I know better than to try to talk him around - he’s just not that kind of kid. Toby, of course, hasn’t got any teeth yet ;-). George’s teeth are also fine, but not where they’re meant to be. Or, to be more accurate, one of his upper front teeth goes in front of the lower teeth when he closes his jaw, as it’s meant to, but the other goes behind the lower teeth. According to our dentist, this might correct itself as other teeth come in, but it might not, and it’s easier to fix it now than later - but she left the decision about whether to go for braces now to me. He doesn’t need the whole set - just a small thing that will only be attached to two back teeth and one front tooth. I left the decision to George, as I was leaning towards “now”, but realised that without his cooperation, it would be pointless and probably traumatic. He listened carefully as we explained the pros and cons, and decided that he’d go for it.

If you’ve ever had a mold (or should that be “mould”? - I’m never sure, as they both always look wrong to me in this context, and googling reveals that one is a variant of the other - pah, useless!) of your teeth taken, you’ll know that it’s not a pleasant experience. Essentially they stick a huge wad of stuff that looks and feels like chewing gum onto a thing that looks like the gums of a set of false teeth, then shove the whole lot in your mouth, where you have to sit still, gagging and choking, until it’s set - which doesn’t take long, but certainly feels longer when you’re the one with the stuff in your mouth. George was fantastic. Initially he wanted me to sit across the room, but I told him to put his hand up if he wanted me next to him - that took about half a second after the pink gunk went in - and then he sat there, gagging and obviously a bit scared, but atypically calm and patient. Once the stuff from the upper teeth came out, he wasn’t keen to get the lower set done, but we explained that the first bit was the worst, and he was fine through the rest. He’s not in the least bit bothered about having a brace, despite Barney doing his best to wind him up about it. As far as George’s concerned, Alan Tracy from Thunderbirds has braces, so it’s just fine. Let’s hope that attitude keeps up once he gets them.

After all that, we went to the bank where the kids’ accounts are - a new month means it’s pocket-money time. Since George had done so well with the pink gunk, he got to choose where we had lunch, then we headed for the optometrist. Barney needed new glasses - he’s very slightly more short-sighted than last year, but mainly he needs them because his head’s getting bigger (stop sniggering at the back). None of the rest of them has any problems (thank goodness: I was worried that George might need glasses - not that he has any difficulties, but I thought that if he got fitted for braces and glasses on the same day, he might think he was being picked on!) It took Barney nearly as long to choose frames as it did to have everyone’s eyes tested - it’s beyond my comprehension how he can be so vain about spec-frames and still neglect to wash his face until threatened with me doing it for him. Mind, he doesn’t clean the glasses once he’s got them either, so maybe it’s a boys-attracting-dirt thing.

Back to pick up Scratchy, followed by a brief stop at the library to pick up some books that we’d ordered, then home for dinner, followed by some more trick-or-treat sweets, then bed. My flu has dissipated into an ordinary old loaded-with-it feeling, which is not pleasant, but is a darn sight better than chills and sweats and aches. I took some homeopathic stuff before bed on Sunday night, had a fever through the night and woke up feeling a lot better yesterday - it might have been time for an improvement anyway, of course, but I gave Jack the same stuff last night, when he was coughing so hard it was waking him and making him cry because it hurt, and the coughing stopped instantly, and he got a good night’s sleep, so he’s also vastly improved. Toby is still a little bit snuffly, so we’re about to cuddle together to get some sleep and inhale some Vicks Vaporub. G’night

Picked up on a (very) swift swing round about a quarter of the blogring this evening:

You belong in Florence. You are very creative and
probably an art freak. In Florence you can
visit a lot of famous buildings!

In What City Do You Belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

Florence does look nice, but they’ve got me all wrong. I’m not a bit creative, and I’m one of the least artistic people I know.

So I thought I’d give this one a go:

Well…yeah, actually it could get better. Sorry, but I’ve never liked Italian men (in general, that is - I’m sure there are some very nice individual ones…) and I can’t stand coffee of any description.

Okay, so let’s try something different…

…which I suppose would be all right if I could stand LOTR. Really, if we’re doing fantasy/sci-fi characters, I’d much rather be Jean-Luc Picard’s girlfriend, thanks

Literally. Half of us are still sick, and we’re tired of it. Scratchy was loaded with cold last night; I didn’t see him this morning so I don’t know how he was. Barney, though healthy, insists that he’s got a cough (it must be a silent, invisible one). George isn’t coughing much now, but he’s grumpy this morning anyway. Freddy is still coughing, so is Jack. Toby isn’t coughing, but does sound a bit hoarse, poor thing. So the older four are playing Dreamcast and I’m lying on my bed nursing Toby so he can sleep as much as possible, and reaching over him to my laptop so I don’t die of boredom.

On the one hand, it’s a real pain that this happened on half-term week, because we usually spend half-terms getting together with the friends who do school. On the other hand, if it hadn’t been half-term week, they’d have missed Ju-Jitsu, Circus, Beavers/Cubs/Scouts, Cadets, Dance and all the rest. And I’d have been knackered from the running about.

On the subject of half-term, I forgot to complain about it on Tuesday after we had our day of appointments. (I know “day of appointments” sounds like a slight exaggeration when it was only the dentist and the optometrist, but when you bear in mind that there were five sets of teeth and four pairs of eyes to be checked, you can see why it took up most of the day.) Remind me not to make those appointments during school holidays again. One of the pros of home-ed is that you can schedule things for the best times, because you don’t have to fit in around school hours, but having been free of school schedules for 4.5 years now, I tend not to think about them any more. And when I made these appointments, I didn’t realise it would be half-term. It wasn’t the appointments that were the problem, it was that the town was heaving with people When we went for lunch, there was a huge queue of people waiting to be served, and we had to struggle down a ramp with three hairpin bends on it, with a stroller and two trays of food, to find seating, and even then the table wasn’t big enough. The same place on a non-half-term weekday is only a quarter-full - and much less stressful.

Okay, so enough of the complaining. We had a lying-about day yesterday, and it looks very much like today will be more of the same, as it’s now 10.45 and that’s all we’ve done so far. The boys did go out to play with their friends for a while yesterday, but neither Barney nor Jack stayed out long, and I made George come back in after he’d rung the doorbell and run away about eight times. His excuse was that Freddy told him to do it. He didn’t get far with that one, I can tell you.

So another day of leisure here . Until 4.30ish, anyway, as there’s archery this afternoon (at least I think there is, I’d better ring and make sure before they go, hadn’t I?)

But I would really, really, like to be able to blow my nose without having to stop several times to identify letters for my three-year-old.

And I used to think it was bad that I couldn’t get to pee in peace!

A very lazy day, most of it spent holding Toby while he slept. Poor thing is still hoarse and though he’s better than he was last night, he’s still not very happy. He did manage a few smiles today though.

The usual early start for a Saturday, with Freddy’s swimming lesson at 8.30 am. Barney and George now swim from 9 to 9.30, which, although it doubles the in-the-water time for the family as a whole, doesn’t make much difference in terms of the taxi-ing, as George still has trampoline at 9.45. It just means there’s a bit less time for George to get dressed, but whichever parent is doing the taxi-ing still spends the same amount of time at the leisure centre. Barney, having abandoned trampoline club, is now home a bit sooner, but we still have to go back to pick up George just before lunch so it doesn’t increase the odds of us getting anything done (though Barney did use the extra time to do some ICT today).

I was thinking today about how much Freddy has changed. He used to tell people, “I’m utterly mad!” - and he was. This is a child who used to roar (like a lion, but good-naturedly, and strangely charmingly) at people in the street if they talked to him There were always occasional flashes of a very sensible child inside - like when a 5-year-old George was having a hissy-fit about not being able to see properly, 3-year-old Freddy very casually said “George, just turn the light on!” But it seems that now the down-to-earth side has overtaken the mad side (which does still show itself, just not nearly all the time!) I hadn’t realised until recently how very solid a child Freddy had become. I can see him being the one who keeps George in line when they’re teenagers.

Speaking of teenagers, Barney’s getting there - he’ll be 11 later this month, and is getting very grown-up in more ways than one. We’re seeing flashes of pre-puberty-syndrome but also periods of him being very responsible and thoughtful *Deb crosses her fingers and hopes the latter outweigh the former*. And - this is something I just can’t accept - this week, he received his first ever paycheque. £25 from the BBC, for participating in the radio show he did. There is no way I’m old enough to have a child who is earning his own money!

Toby, apart from the current bug, continues to be a very happy baby. He’s quite physical - loves getting kisses, loves physical games like “flying baby” and being bounced up and down. Jack is also rather bouncy - to the extent that he will actually jump up and down while shouting “boing boing boing!”

I’ve been thinking about blogs and privacy a bit - a couple of people on the blog-ring have had “wibbles” (you know who you are :lol:) and either passworded their blogs or moved them so they’re harder to find. I removed the passwording from this blog a few months back, but some posts are still only visible to those who are registered and logged in. I was thinking I might start using pseudonyms for the kids rather than initials; it’s difficult to know the right balance. Not that very many people read this blog (I probably get as much comment spam as I do real comments :lol:), but it’s there, if someone decided to look for info on us, if you see what I mean. I’m undecided about this, so I’m asking for opinions. Anyone got one?

About 7.20 am. I’m in bed, nursing Toby. Scratchy is downstairs with the other kids; I can hear them getting breakfast in the kitchen. And then he comes upstairs and says “Can you take a look at this? I can’t tell…”

And I sit up, and turn on the light, and have a look, and I can’t tell either.

So once Toby’s gone back to sleep, I get up and start doing the rounds. It’s a horrible job, boring, and we all hate it. Freddy comes first, since he’s the one that raised suspicions this morning. I keep my fingers crossed and hope - but to no avail. It takes one swipe to establish that they’re back, only another swipe or two to realise he’s crawling with them.

I hate headlice.

I’ve checked George and Jack too, and both are infected, though not nearly so badly as Freddy. Barney has to be checked later today - and, of course, so will I *huge sigh*

Bah.

Here’s hoping that’s vaguely right … it’s supposed to mean “clever boys”!

Both Barney and George passed their first grading at Ju-jitsu tonight. Happy faces all round

what board game are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

I’ve not blogged much in the past few days - Toby has been coughing and hoarse and just-wanting-to-be-held so there hasn’t been much typing of any kind done. I can surf with one hand, and I can even do some blog-adjusting (themes etc) with one hand, and I suppose I can type one-handed, but it’s just so much faster and easier with two … anyway, after sleeping almost all day until about 4 pm, Toby woke up this afternoon and was much more cheerful than he has been for the past few days, so I hope he’s on the road to recovery. It’s so nice to see his lovely smiles again

The rest of us seem to be recovered; Scratchy sounded awful yesterday, but seems a lot better today, so fingers crossed. We’ve had two weekends of getting very little done now - the first when I was ill, the second when Toby was - so I’ve a long list of want-to-do’s for this weekend.

Right … so what has happened in the last few days that I’ve meant to blog about? Well, apart from the usual round of swimming, trampoline, Beavers/Cubs/Scouts, Community Circus and Ju-jitsu (and I did manage to blog about that last bit), we haven’t done much, to be honest. With Toby out of sorts, I haven’t been organised enough to do any of the things we’d planned to do this week. I did sit down to do some schoolywork with the boys yesterday, but then a quick phone call to a friend turned into one of those hour-and-a-half things, and the only input they got from me was when I pointed to stuff and mouthed “do that” at them. And this system worked unexpectedly well - Barney did some English, maths, practiced playing recorder and guitar, and learned how to tell someone about his school day in French George did some history plus all of the above except for guitar practice. Freddy did some English, lots of handwriting practice (unfortunately still practiced writing his capital N’s backwards :-/), some science and played his recorder. Jack has been doing lots of “what’s this letter? what’s this number?” and surprised me last night by starting to point out and identify letters on a packet of biscuits.

Today there’s been almost nothing done. I did manage to nit-comb them all again (and I must have done a better job than I thought on Freddy on Monday, ’cause there was nothing to be found today!) and I fished yet another dead neon tetra out of the aquarium; I really think we’re not meant to have neon tetras. The rest of the fish are doing well, but the tetras don’t seem to cope at all for some reason. We’re now down to three I’ve been given the opportunity to buy a substantially larger tank - 125 litres (compared to our current 58 litres), and have suggested to Scratchy that it would be a good Christmas pressie We’d be getting it for about half of what they sell for; it’s second-hand, but from a company who set up and maintain aquaria in leisure centres and nursing homes etc, and has only ever been used for display at shows. Comes with a stand too - I’m very tempted.

Our half-cat doesn’t seem to have been around for the past couple of days - I’m hoping this is because he’s found somewhere warmer to sleep, rather than because something nasty has happened to him One of our two indoor cats has been staying out at night quite a bit, though it seems to be nearly always on the weekend; I’m wondering if there’s some kind of cat nightclub around here…

It sounds pretty wild outside, and I’m glad to be here in a nice warm house. Scratchy has taken the three older boys - they’re dropping off George at Cubs, then he’s doing a couple of errands before going back to pick up George and drop off Barney. Freddy’s just along for the ride. Jack has fallen asleep, and Toby’s asleep in my arms (well, on one of my arms, which is why I’ve got two hands to type with :lol:) And I think I’m going to settle down with a good book, the best way to spend a cold windy evening imo

Toby woke up this morning with a huge smile - the first time he’s done that in a few days He’s still coughing a little bit, but it’s more of a throat-clearing cough than a rattly-chest cough now, and he’s obviously feeling so much better. He does a little “aahhh” thing, like a sigh, after he coughs each time; he manages to make even illness look cute

George fought with everybody else all the way through breakfast, but seems to have cheered up somewhat now. I’m a bit fed up because I came downstairs this morning to find that our dalmatian molly had hidden away among the leaves of a plant and quietly left this mortal plane Must admit that this is getting frustrating - and wondering whether the problem is the quality of fish in the shop we’ve been using, as it seems that the ones that survive the first couple of weeks don’t have any problems afterwards (i.e. it’s not our tank). The problem is that the other options are a large chain-store in which the staff don’t seem bothered if there are dead fish floating in the tanks, or a very tiny local place which doesn’t seem to have a clue

I’ve been thinking about using one of those vegetable box delivery schemes. It seems like we’ve been eating the same things over and over recently, and I’d really like to widen the range of veg we use. It seems like winter is a good time to try a veg box, as I can always toss everything we don’t use by the end of the week into a pot for soup. So off I went a-googling, and more frustration resulted - it seems like all the local box schemes that I’ve found either don’t deliver to our area, or have stopped operating I’ll have to do a ring-round of my more radical friends to see if any of them knows of one that covers this area.

Barney has done some maths and history this morning, George some geography and maths. Freddy’s been working on his animals book - he seems to have been using it forever, but it’s such a great big thick book, and he’s nearly at the end. Jack drew some pictures and insisted I “check” them, just like I check the older boys’ stuff

Freddy is off to his dance-class this afternoon; my friend J (who is also the teacher) picks him up so I just have to make sure he’s found socks by about 2 pm - don’t laugh, this can, on a bad day, be a challenge He’ll be home about 5.30, by which time Barney and George will be gone with Scratchy and the Cubs to watch an ice-hockey game. They’re rather looking forward to it No archery today because it just can’t be fitted in - socialisation problem? Yep - can’t keep it down!

Scratchy, Barney and George are off at the ice-hockey. Freddy and Jack have put themselves to bed Toby is lying beside me on the bed, chatting away. He has been such a delight today - back to his usual smiley babbling self. I’m going to go and give him my full attention now, but I just wanted to say how much I adore him

Erm…

You’re Lolita!
by Vladimir Nabokov
Considered by most to be depraved and immoral, you are obsessed with sex. What really tantalizes you is that which deviates from societal standards in every way, though you admit that this probably isn’t the best and you’re not sure what causes this desire. Nonetheless, you’ve done some pretty nefarious things in your life, and probably gotten caught for them. The names have been changed, but the problems are real. Please stay away from children.

Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

There’s been a lot of talk this week about the government’s proposal of a “National Curriculum” for children aged birth to three years. BBC News Education Correspondent, Mike Baker, writes that “this does not amount to extending the national curriculum to babies. It is simply a requirement on childcare providers not to leave children sitting in front of the television but to ensure they are talked to, stimulated, and encouraged to express themselves and to play.”

Government shouldn’t be pretending it can offer any guarantees about childcare, because it can’t. And it shouldn’t. Part of parental responsibility is making sure that your children are well cared-for when you’re not there. The registration system offers a false sense of security, and this proposal will increase that, while doing nothing to improve the quality of care. Good childminders already ensure children are talked to, stimulated, and encouraged to express themselves and to play - and they don’t need the extra paperwork.

But I’m not so sure it’s the thought of babies doing worksheets which has caused the backlash.

Mr Baker goes on to say: “I suspect most parents, and carers, would welcome that and would hardly regard it as a Big Brother exercise.”

Maybe, in itself, a “toddler curriculum” doesn’t smack of Big Brother, but I think a lot of people are realising the extent of the control of government of various aspects of their lives, and are starting to resent it. It’s this, rather than the “toddler curriculum” itself, that is getting under people’s skin. I think people are starting to object to being told how to manage more and more of their lives. They’re feeling that the government doesn’t trust them. Parents don’t want to be told what’s best for their children.

So while those who’ve written this week to criticise the proposals are focussing on the idea of testing very young children, I think it’s the general too-much-control feeling that’s triggering their feelings about the whole issue.

If so, that’s a good thing. If the government has shot itself in the foot with these proposals, and the result is that the population as a whole wakes up a bit more and starts asking more questions about exactly how much government intrusion into people’s lives is justified, that, in my opinion, it’s a great result.

On Thursday, Barney and George had a great time at the hockey match. The local team won (as it does every time they go - do you think we could convince them to give us free season tickets on that basis? LOL)

On Friday, the kids did some schoolywork (far more than I realised, until I started looking through it). Freddy decided to finish his science book, and did.

On Saturday, Freddy had his swimming lesson at 8.30, followed by Barney and George’s at 9. There wasn’t supposed to be a trampoline class this week, but they’ve not been very organised about it, so I told them to check when they got to the leisure centre. Just as well, because there was a class after all. The actual classes are good, it’s just the admin side of things that could use some improvement.

The lads came home and we had lunch, then an hour or so of everyone pitching in to get the house cleaned. Our routines work very well when we do them, but we’ve had about six weeks of illness in the house now, with us falling over one after another, so it’s all gone pear-shaped recently. The house is now in much better shape, and I’ve been through the several piles of paperwork that had accumulated. I find that going through paperwork is never as bad as it seemed beforehand - you start with a foot-high pile, and by the time you dump the garbage and put the stuff that just needs filed into a “filing” pile (and maybe, if you’re very organised, even file it ) - you’re left with a very small pile of stuff that actually needs attention. Now I need to remind myself to read this again every week or two

Barney and George did some ICT, and Freddy decided to finish his maths book. And he nearly did. This is why I don’t plan too far ahead when it comes to home-ed

Our half-cat - the one that lives outside but isn’t really our cat - returned on Saturday afternoon after an absence of several days. Barney fed him in the conservatory, and managed to get the door shut without the cat freaking out, which is a first. He even stayed inside for a couple of hours; he’s obviously tolerating us much better than he used to. We put him in the conservatory while we ate dinner, because his manners aren’t very good (i.e. he leaps onto the kitchen counter and scares the poop out of Scratchy ), but he stayed there quite willingly. We opened the door to the garden again about an hour later, and he went outside, but he came back yesterday, so we can’t have scared him too much.

Yesterday (Sunday) we had friends over for lunch, so I made a huge pot of minestrone soup, and we served it with salad and good bread and bits of snacky-things. We had a lovely afternoon with them, and they left us their dog The parents are off to Prague for the week, and the kids are staying with their childminder (I’d have had them here, but they’ve got school and it’s not local), and we’re dog-sitting again. Same miniature schnauzer that we doggy-sat before. So now we have one dog, two-and-a-half cats (assuming Mollycat returns - she stayed out again last night), and several fish - though we have one less fish than we did yesterday morning, as our lovely orange sailfin molly died yesterday. He was injured - we don’t know how, but there were small cuts on his side - and put up a brave fight, flip-flopping around the tank for a few hours before finally succumbing

Barney is now writing a list of invitees for his birthday party sleepover, and we must get invitations out today, as it’s just over a week away. Freddy and George are emptying the dishwasher, and Jack is…hm, I don’t know what Jack’s doing, and can’t hear him. Gotta go!

Barney and George are learning French. We’re covering classroom words - like “la gomme”.

Is it a rubber, or an eraser? Much discussion about why some people call it one thing and some people another. I point out that “eraser” tells you what it does, whereas “rubber” has several meanings, like the material and other meanings. I mention that it’s also slang for condom.

“What’s a condom?” they say in unison. Erm…I explain what a condom is, and what it’s for. As I’m explaining, there’s much “yeuch” and “ew” going on. As I say “so that she doesn’t get pregnant”, Barney looks at me, baffled.

“But why would anyone have sex if they didn’t want to get pregnant?”

Erm…

BBC NEWS | UK | Schools ‘in denial’ over bullying
“Almost every child is affected by bullying and is growing up in a society that sees violence as “the norm”, the children’s commissioner has said.

Professor Al Aynsley-Green argued that, despite good work in schools, there is still denial about the “existence, severity and effect” of bullying.

He told the Observer that violence had become the norm in the workplace, on television and in the home.”

Yet another good reason to home-educate. We can’t protect our children from bullying for their entire lives, but we can at least allow them to grow up in a safe environment rather than learning that bullying is normal.

Bit of a slow start this morning, but once we got moving, we certainly made up for it!

Barney made a list of people he wants to invite to his birthday party, and we designed invitations. I sent some invitations attached to emails, and we printed a test copy of the rest - I need to change the ink in the printer before we can print full-colour ones. Will do that later this evening, and the kids can deliver them tomorrow.

The run-down for schoolywork involved maths, literacy, ICT, recorder and French (including sex-ed ;-)) for both Barney and George. Barney also did some geography and science and George some history. Freddy had blasted through so much this weekend that all I asked him to do was practice his recorder, but he also went back to his maths book and completed a few more pages of that. Jack coloured and drew in two different books and presented me with both.

We lit the fire - oh, I forgot to blog that we finally figured out how to light our fire yesterday. We’ve never had a gas fire before, and we thought the cylinder was empty, but it turned out the ignition-y bit was bent - once we bent it back, the fire lit easily, and it is nice to have it going on a cold day like today

The boys played computer games for a couple of hours later in the afternoon, and I think George did some drawing. He did a huge picture on Saturday and described it to me thus: “That’s a prison door, that’s a shadowy figure holding a shield and a sword, and that’s a 14-year-old shooting a bow.” Hm, might be an idea to get him to write a story based on all that. Scratchy came home and while he was making dinner, Barney decided to wind up George, who is particularly easy to wind up when he’s hungry and therefore stood on his chair screaming at everyone. Result: Barney and George got sent upstairs and told to forget about going to ju-jitsu tonight. When they’d calmed down and had come back down to eat, it was pointed out to them that if you’re relying on someone to take you somewhere, annoying that person is not a good idea.

After dinner I nit-combed everyone except George (I got fed up, I’ll check him tomorrow). I’m getting very good at stretching out fairytales to keep Jack happy while I check his head They’re now all getting ready for bed, and I’m about to go and nurse Toby to sleep

You scored as Renaissance. You belong in the Renaissance. Renaissance 80% Pre-Modern World 70% Modern World 60% Industrial Era 50% Prehistory 40% Middle Ages 15% Ancient World 15%

What period in history do you belong in?
created with QuizFarm.com

Why am I sore all over? Because I fell and bashed pretty much all of me. While carrying Toby.

We were on our way to the dentist for George to pick up his brace. It was raining, traffic was heavy, we were tight for time. Our dentist’s office is on a street with no parking, but right beside it is a narrow, very steep lane which used to have a car-park at the bottom. I planned to park there, but on arrival, I discovered the space where the car-park used to be is now home to a huge new building, which seems to have been built in about three weeks. Anyway, I managed to find street-parking slightly further along, and we hurried back down the street - Barney, George and me, with Toby in my arms.

We had to cross the busy road, and the light turned red for traffic when we were a few yards away. I said “quickly!” and we started to rush across the road. We were half-way across when I slipped on the wet surface, and went down forwards. With Toby in my arms.

It’s amazing how your instincts change when you’re carrying a baby. Normally I’d have put my arms out to stop myself, but instead I put them up to hold Toby out of the way. I landed on my front, with him slightly under me - his legs were between me and the road, but he was wrapped in a thick blanket and between that and the fact that the front of me isn’t very hard protected him. I, on the other hand, bashed everything between my feet and my knees, my right hip, my hands, elbows and chest (where I managed to pull a muscle and also punch myself when I went down).

A couple of people stopped and tried to help, asking if I was okay, but my first thought was to get up and get off the road - Barney and George were standing there in the middle of it too, and it didn’t seem like the safest place to be on a dark rainy evening. We got onto the footpath and someone tried to usher me into the health centre next to the crossing, but I said “I can’t, we’ve a dental appointment.” We were half-way up the hill on the lane when breathing started getting difficult, and I just about made it up the stairs at the dentist’s office before I went into meltdown with the shock.

I was fine after a few minutes shaking and a glass of water, and I’ll be fine in a few days when the bruising etc goes away, but it was a scary experience. Toby is absolutely fine - he didn’t even cry at all, and was cheerfulness itself for the rest of the evening. Barney and George were a bit shocked, I think, though I didn’t think to talk to them about it until later on, when George was in bed and Barney at St John Cadets (heh), so I’ll talk to them today.

Don’t try this one at home, folks (or anywhere else).

Scratchy had the day off yesterday, so I made the most of it. I started with a trip to the local play resource centre with my friend J - I picked up a few material things but mainly ideas. After that I headed to the local health centre, where I’d an appointment with the obstetric physiotherapist (to see if we can make my body look as if it’s not 15 months pregnant). Came home with exercises to do and a thing that’s essentially a very wide elastic band - the idea being to shift everything else back into the right place so that it’s easier for the muscles to do that too. The appointment was quite good fun - the physio and I share a slightly surreal sense of humour, and there’s plenty of fodder for it in examining my abdomen and trying to dig for muscles Forgot to see about getting bloodwork done for the milk-bank donor-testing thingy, so will have to get my act together on that.

I’d left the boys some work to do, with Scratchy supervising, and to my surprise, they actually got it all done. Maths, geography, science, guitar, recorder and blogging for Barney, maths geography, French and blogging for George, and science and handwriting for Freddy.

Home for lunch, then a few errands - bank, library, brief grocery stop, then back home again to put the groceries away. We cut apart the invitations for Barney’s party, and he, George and Freddy delivered them to those local kids who were home from school. The rest will have to be delivered this afternoon.

I dropped Scratchy, Freddy and Jack off in town and they spent some time in the playground before getting dinner and taking the train to Beavers. In the meantime, I drove across the city (in the dark and rain…) to take George to the dentist to get his brace fitted. This is when I had my fall - and I’m more sore than I thought from that It took the dentist ages to fit the brace - she had to fiddle with it with pliers to get it to sit right - but eventually it went in. George was very patient about the whole thing. He didn’t keep it in right then, because he and Barney were off to Community Circus, but he put it in before bed last night. It took ten minutes for us to get it in the first time, then he decided to practice a bit - it took 20 seconds the next time, and about three seconds the time after that. Then he woke me at 3 a.m. to say it was bothering him and could he remove it (yes, of course). He’s had it in and out countless times today - obviously already expert. He’s also had to rescue it from Misty, our visiting mini-schnauzer - that will teach him to leave it where small animals (and people!) can reach it. Having Misty has been quite good for the boys; it’s surprising how fast having things chewed up teaches children not to leave things like pencils, erasers and small plastic dinosaurs on the floor The cats still aren’t keen on her presence, but they seem to be very slightly less miffed than they were before, so here’s hoping.

Right, where were we - ah, yes, Community Circus. I’d had plans to do more errands while Barney and George were in that, but I was feeling so shaken I decided to sit in the entrance-hall and talk to Toby instead.

After Community Circus, I drove Barney to St John Cadets - the first time I’ve dropped him off, and although Scratchy had pointed it out to me twice, it still took longer than it should to find the right place. Eventually I made it back to pick up Scratchy, Freddy and Jack, who by that time had toddled across the road to the library near the Scout Hall.

Picked up dinner for George and me on the way home, and it wasn’t until about 10 p.m., when Barney had been brought home from Cadets and gone to bed, that we realised his dinner had consisted of a packet of crisps and a drink during the break at Community Circus. Oops.

This morning’s been a lot of doing nothing much, really - I’m too sore to be bothered, so they’ve all been left to their own devices. Barney made lunch, George cleaned up afterwards, and they’re now all (including Toby, who’s in Barney’s arms) sitting watching a DVD. They’ll be out in half an hour, delivering invitations and walking Misty, so I’ll just count that as PE and - oh, animal behavioural studies or something

Starting from yesterday afternoon…

George had Cubs from 6.30 to 8, and Barney had Scouts from 8 to 9.30; Scratchy did all the usual running for that. I went to bed early, but didn’t put down the laptop until much later, something I regretted when I was up at 6 a.m. with Toby

Today’s been fairly productive. We have tickets booked to go see the new Harry Potter movie tomorrow, so the boys were keen to finish up what they had for the week. Barney did maths, Latin, RE, guitar and recorder, and also wrote on his blog. George did maths, Latin, RE and recorder. Freddy did some science and then finished his maths book - so I’ll be digging through the filing cabinet this weekend looking for the next one then! The book he finished today was supposed to last until Christmas, but they all pull these stunts on me, so I’m used to it by now

Freddy went off to his dance class with J at about 2.30, but the others had a quiet day, activity-wise, as there was no archery this week - I’ve no idea why it was cancelled, because Scratchy isn’t as nosy as me and didn’t ask I spent most of the afternoon on-line trying to source the items on the Christmas lists I’ve seen so far, and mostly failing miserably. I like to have all the gifts bought by the end of October, so am ever-so-slightly in panic mode over not having bought anything before the first lights go up on local houses. I have managed to pick up ninja stars on ebay, though I’m quite sure they won’t come back on their own, as George specifically requested…apart from that, either I can’t find the items, or they’re not in stock, or they don’t deliver here. In some cases, it’s entirely possible the requested items don’t actually exist

The postmanwoman brought us a couple of good packages today - a bundle of four pairs of trousers I bought on ebay for Barney (all fit great, all in like-new condition, very pleased with having scored those for £7), and a great freebie - posters from the National Physical Laboratory. They’re lovely posters, on a variety of subjects. All I need now is a bulletin board to put them on

I’m still a bit sore all over, especially in my chest; I obviously bashed myself harder than I thought. That’ll teach me to run in the rain.

(Reminds me of when we told Barney not to run in the house. He was about three years old. He asked why he shouldn’t run in the house. I said “Because you might fall.” He thought for a minute, then answered, “But if I run and fall outside, I’ll get hurt.” Well, uh, yeah, but….)

Barney delivered the last of his birthday-party invitations, and we got the first RSVP phone-call, so there’ll be at least one person coming…

(title sung loudly with fingers in my ears)

I do not have a child who will be 11 years old by the end of this week.

I do not have a birthday party/sleepover to organise in the next five days.

I do not have all of my Christmas shopping left to do, and if I do, Christmas is not just over a month away.

Right. Now that we’ve got all that out of the way, I can write about what we’ve done in the last few days.

On Friday, Scratchy took the afternoon off work and we went to see the new Harry Potter movie. Barney was disappointed - I think there were lots of bits that he was looking forward to seeing, and most of them weren’t in it. It’s an odd movie: the “big” scenes were very well done - I could have watched the Quidditch World Cup stuff for at least another ten minutes - but in-between them was all just rushed through. There were lots of things that are really quite important later on which are just completely left out, and quite a few bits where they put in scenes that seemed a bit pointless. There are lots of scenes that I don’t think anyone who hasn’t read the book will understand. Mad-Eye Moody isn’t “right”, imo - though I knew that before going, as I’d seen photographs - nothing to do with Brendan Gleeson, who is actually very good at playing the character, but just not quite right for it. And I’m not quite sure why Dumbledore occasionally lapsed into an Irish accent…that was just plain weird. I know Michael Gambon’s Irish, but isn’t he supposed to be an actor? I’m afraid he’ll never be Dumbledore to me - he just hasn’t quite got the presence that Richard Harris brought to the part.

We did enjoy the movie though. I did a quick shopping spree afterwards - well, a quick looking-and-trying-to-get-ideas spree, really. And failing-to-get-ideas too

On Friday night it was the Scouts uni-hoc tournament, and Barney was the sub for the junior team from his pack; it turned out they’d a few no-shows, so he did get to play. They didn’t win, but they had fun

Everyone up and out early on a Saturday morning as usual - but wasted, this week, as nobody showed up to open up the leisure centre for the 8.30 classes! It was opened in time for the 9 o’clock classes though, and they did phone on Saturday afternoon to apologise, and said they would be sending out family swim passes as compensation. So Freddy missed his class, but Barney and George got theirs. Barney hurt his foot while kicking to float - so at least I know he’s making an effort

I spent most of Saturday and Sunday tidying up - trying to sort out the spare room in case we need it for that sleepover on Friday, and going through clothes in an attempt to find stuff that will fit Toby (and I did find all the clothes for this age that I knew we had somewhere). Also looked through our stash of workbooks for a maths book for Freddy (found several) and science books for Barney (found one), George (didn’t find anything…hm) and Freddy (found one, but I suspect it won’t keep him going for long). I discovered that the front wall of our bedroom is very, very damp - right above the powder room, where the wall is also very, very damp…I have no idea why this should be, and am almost afraid to ask an expert - though I realise we’re going to have to get someone in to look at it. I just hope it’s not going to cost us a fortune to put right

I took a break from all of that orgo-planning this afternoon to help the kids paint the Harry Potter badges/magnets we made using plaster and moulds a few weeks ago (and about time too!):

After that I tried to go through some potential-Christmas-gifts with Scratchy, but after less than ten minutes I had to stop to read the riot act to the boys, who were all at each other’s throats. Gave them a very loud lecture about it. I don’t know how long it will last, but the level of contrition this evening has been impressive

Misty (the schnauzer) went home to her own family yesterday, and they brought us chocolate from Prague - very nice, thank you

George has been very good about wearing the brace on his teeth, and even about having to clean his teeth every time he eats something - tbh I’ve been surprised how well he’s handling it. The dentist said she thought the tooth would move quite quickly, and she was right: it’s already almost even with the tooth next to it. I imagine George will have to keep wearing the brace for a while to make sure the tooth doesn’t move back, but it’s heartening for all of us to know it’s worked so soon.

I’m sure there’s more I meant to blog about, but I can’t think what now, so I’ll stop doing the balancing-Toby-on-one-arm-to-feed-him-so-I-can-simultaneously-blog thing now, and do something else that doesn’t involve my hands.

A very slow start this morning - Jack didn’t even wake up until after 9 - almost unheard-of for him. But somehow in the next hour we all got our act together and by 10 everyone was fed, dressed and getting on with it.

We’ve been working on times tables - I’ve been hoping to find a “better” way to learn them, but after about three years of looking and not finding anything much, I decided maybe it was time to just stuck in and do it. So Barney and George have been learning them, and while they chant them, Freddy sometimes listens, sometimes joins in, which I suppose can only make it easier for him when his time to learn them comes.

So - a bit of chanting this morning, followed by literacy for Barney, during which he learned about rhyming couplets, sonnets and haikus. I told him to write some haikus; he produced them with “HQ1″, “HQ2″ etc written in the margin. I said “But it’s hai*ku*, not hai*q*” - it turned out that HQ stood for “Homework Question” After that he did some French, learning vocabulary for talking about jobs, and played recorder. Oh, and blogged.

George also started with chanting, then did some work on synonyms and antonyms from his literacy book, looked at the same page of French that Barney did, and read about evacuees during World War 2. He also played recorder and blogged (a list of what he wants for his birthday - he’s planning well ahead! :-/)

Freddy played recorder and did some more of his book about animals, learning about the parts of a bird, different kinds of bird beaks and the differences in what they do. Then he started his new science book, reading about different kinds of foods. He also practiced recorder.

Jack spent a long time looking at the cards he has with letters on them and saying the words for the pictures - some of them were even the right words He’s talking a lot about letters and words these days. Toby was just his usual delightful self; he’s using his hands a lot now, reaching out for toys etc.

As for me, I decided that since the pain in my chest (from falling last week) was getting worse, rather than better, maybe I should do something about it. By this afternoon, I couldn’t do up the snap-fasteners on Toby’s clothes, and couldn’t take a deep breath. So when Scratchy got home, Barney and Toby and I went off to Casualty, where the doctor poked me and said “ooh yeah” and told me I had a fractured rib

Stopped at the pet shop while we were out to buy treatment for the white stuff that’s growing on our black molly, so we now have beautiful blue water in our aquarium

Got home just in time for Scratchy to take Barney and George to ju-jitsu; I promised they’d get their gis once they’d passed their first grading, so I really need to do something about that. The gis are the best part of £30 each! They have to be the proper white WJJF ones with blue stripes - I could get plain white gis for a tenner each - flippin’ expensive blue stripes those!

That’s what you’re getting, ’cause I forgot to blog last night. Well, I remembered, but only after I’d got myself into a relatively comfortable position in bed, so there was no chance of me moving again

I meant to say before, but forgot, that I thought I’d make an extra effort to blog the (overtly) educational stuff the kids do this week, just as a sort of example. So that’s why you got all the detail on Monday, and you’ll be getting the same today

Yesterday involved times tables for Barney and George, with Freddy joining in with great enthusiasm and volume, if not total accuracy. Then George did some more maths, learning about line symmetry - is it just my kids that all love symmetry, or is that a general thing? Freddy did some maths involving money - figuring out total amounts, change due, that sort of thing - plus some handwriting, and some reading and writing about mammals, and bats in particular. He also did a bit of work from a CGP science project book, about how food keeps us alive. Barney started a page of maths problems about number patterns; he finished it today. They also had Community Circus (Barney and George), Beavers (Freddy) and St. John Cadets (Barney). Scratchy did all the driving for that, because even with power-steering, I’m not coping well with turning steering-wheels or changing gears.

They did some more formal stuff today - apart from finishing his maths, Barney did a bit of literacy stuff - comprehension and identifying different components of writing - alliteration and personification and that kind of thing. Both Barney and George did some geography - they’re doing a bit about towns and town-planning, and today it was the exciting topic of bypasses. They also did more French - the workbook bit of “about jobs” that they were working on earlier in the week. Freddy’s work from his animals book today was about birds and insects; I was quite impressed at how many birds he could identify from their silhouettes. They all practiced recorder too (and Barney would have practiced guitar too if he hadn’t lost his plectrum - again :roll:)

That all sounds very school-at-home-y, doesn’t it? We’re not really - we tend to use workbooks as a starting-point, and then they go off from them in the directions of their own interests. There’s also a lot of stuff prompted by general discussion too. For example, this morning, something Barney said (and I can’t for the life of me remember what it was!) led us into a discussion of principles, and the sacrifices some people have made for the sake of their principles, and that took us off into talking about apartheid laws in South Africa, and looking up Nelson Mandela and Steven Biko on the web. Later today, after I complained about not being able to do something because I’m so sore, George went and found a book about bodies, and he and Freddy looked up the skeleton and tried to work out which rib I’d broken (answer: don’t know, it might be more than one). Yesterday we talked about parasites and fungal infections and the chemicals used to treat them (because we’re currently dosing the aquarium with the latter in order to deal with the former). So we do a lot of spontaneous, child-led learning too - something there just wouldn’t be the time for if they were in school all day. And I usually learn right alongside them

It takes a lot less time to cover all this stuff at home too; most of that was all done before lunch. Fortunately George cheered up after lunch - he’d been a bit ready-to-flip for most of the morning. He’d one wobbly moment in the afternoon, when told it was his turn to change the kitty-litter, but otherwise the afternoon was fairly calm To be honest, it was so calm I can’t really work out what we did all afternoon, except that I know that at some point I polished off the biscuits I forgot Scratchy was on a course today, so he was home late, but fortunately I’d already thrown some food at the oven, so we were able to feed them all before he took George to Cubs. I also managed to glue the Cub badges onto George’s sweater; usually I glue them and then sew them (they’re stiff, so the glue doesn’t hold too effectively, but I’m so bad at sewing that I can’t keep them straight if I just sew), but there’s no way I can do the arm movements required for sewing right now, so either that will wait, or Scratchy will do it. He’ll be picking George up at 8, and leaving Barney off at the same time, then back for Barney at 9.30; I’m sure he’s fed up with being in the car by now. Tomorrow won’t be much better - he’s off tomorrow morning so we can run the necessary errands for Barney’s birthday party

Some statistics for you:

#1: Last night, seventeen children slept in my house (oh, and three adults).

If you think that sounds scary, try this for size:

#2: Nearly a third of them were mine

Or this:

#3: So far, they have eaten:
- 9 very large pizzas
- 16 hot dogs
- about a third of a box of 60 small packets of assorted crisp-type snacks
- a bag of chocolate bars
- a box of gummi bears
- another box of something else (I don’t know what, because by the time I saw the box, it was empty
- half a large chocolate birthday cake
- a large bag of M&Ms
- lots of fizzy drinks
- several small boxes and part of a large box of breakfast cereal
- at least one loaf of bread

If you’re still not scared, then you should definitely have a large family

Barney’s birthday party/sleepover was last night. Actually, it’s still happening. I’ve hidden in my bedroom for five minutes to blog

The first child arrived at about 3 pm, with others starting to appear from 6 pm onwards. They wreaked havoc in the living-room while the adults hid out in the kitchen Shortly after 7, we threw hot-dogs and home-made pizza at them, followed by various junk food items. They sang “Happy Birthday” and Barney blew out his candles. When I say “sang”, I am using the word very loosely. (A bit like the school song in the Harry Potter books, for those who remember that.) It was also very loud. When the candle-blowing-out and cheering was over, Jack was sitting against the wall crying - I thought he was scared, but it turned out he’d wanted to blow out candles, so I re-lit one of them and then “helped” him blow it out (i.e. I blew it out and he stared at it, attempting to extinguish it by sheer force of will).

Another hour or two of kids bouncing around, then we told them to get their pyjamas on and we put on a DVD. They watched The Incredibles, followed by The Princess Bride (accompanied by much shouting of “Inconceivable!” by various children). And then those who had not already made their way upstairs were shooed up to bed. Well - it was nearly 1 am

Ten boys started the night in George and Freddy’s room (it’s a big room). Eight of them were still there this morning (one had gone into K, his mum, who was sleeping in the next bedroom, and one had gone into Barney’s room, which had deliberately been left empty as a bolt-hole for anyone for whom the noise and action was getting too much). Three girls and one boy (younger brother of two of the girls) spent the night on the sofa-bed and sofa in the living-room. Two boys in with us, and one girl in with K (also her mum).

By 1.30, we’d managed to get most of them quiet, and we’d gone to bed too. At 2.20, K went in and told R to stop jumping on the other boys and hitting them over the head with pillows. (At this point I should mention that R is Very Bouncy, and his own mother says he has a voice like a fog-horn). At 3 am, I went in and told R to take his pillow and blanket out to the landing and go to sleep there. This morning, several of the other boys have expressed appreciation for that instruction

I think the first kids were up at about 6.45 am. Scratchy got up with them, having gone to bed around midnight. When he left at 8 am with Barney, George and Freddy for swimming lessons, K took over kitchen duty until I got down with Toby at about 8.30.

The last two kids emerged from their sleeping-bags at about 10 am. Five minutes later, the father of one of those two arrived at the front door to collect him, as his family were heading to the shops. Since he hadn’t eaten and wasn’t dressed and definitely wasn’t ready to leave yet, we said he might as well stay. There will be quite a few kids here until at least mid-afternoon - at least two sets of parents were going out on dates last night, and at least one set are using today to get their Christmas shopping done. I should have charged for this

I love parties

Thursday - Scratchy took the morning off so I could go to get the necessaries for Barney’s party without having to drag five children along; I went to Makro and he went to Lidl and between us we stocked up In the afternoon, I made pizza dough in the breadmaker, planning to put it in the refrigerator overnight and make a second batch on Friday, but it turned out that we’d been so busy stocking up for the party, we’d forgotten to buy anything we could eat for dinner - so we made pizza It worked out well though, because the crust was a bit thick (still good! just thick LOL) so I figured instead of making two pizzas from one batch of dough, I’d roll it thinner and make three

Friday - the kids woke up and yelled that it had snowed and I looked out the window and went “Pah! You call that snow???” (too many Canadian winters, you see). We did some schooly stuff in the morning - times tables, French, symmetry for George and mental arithmetic for Freddy. We also had a good talk about keeping our brains connected when we’re feeling like we might get out of control and hit each other (bet you can’t figure out what brought that on…), and did a tidy-up of the house. I did think of mopping the kitchen floor, but decided that it would be a huge waste of time. We made three more batches of pizza dough.

Friday night - well, you can read about the party in the previous post. It was very good Some parents were taking the opportunity to go shopping, so we had quite a few of the kids for most of the day. Eventually we only had three extra children here, and their mum and dad showed up about 4.30. I’d thought, about 4 pm, that they weren’t going to want to go home and cook, so decided to make yet more pizza (with there still being no groceries available LOL) Then I realised, as I started putting stuff in the breadmaker, that I’d used the last of the yeast, so had too google for a yeast-free dough recipe. It worked very well though - different to the one containing yeast, but still very yummy. Scratchy dug some Indian appetizers out of the bottom of the freezer, and we had caesar salad, so it was quite a feast in the end. We also finished off the birthday cake, having stuck some more candles in it and sung Happy Birthday to Scratchy - yep, his birthday is two days after Barney’s. Our friends left about 8.30 pm, and we decided to fall into bed early and leave the clean-up until today.

So…today we cleaned up We cleaned every room in the house, and the place is now spotless. Did a late lunch, a light dinner, and chased everyone to bed, and since then I’ve been ebaying like a fiend, trying to sort out some Christmas pressies. Think I’m heading to bed soon myself though!

It’s not often that I even forward something arrives in my email in-box, much less post it to my blog - but this is priceless. If you are a Mother Of All Brothers, you’ll want to print it out and put it up on the kitchen wall - I already did. This is from yesterday’s Philadelphia Enquirer.

Mothers of all brothers

Emily Mendell lives in Wallingford

For years I have fantasized about forming a much-needed support group for a desperate crew of women who border on the edge of insanity on a daily basis: mothers who have been blessed with an all-boy brood. I envision it would go something like this:

To: Members of the Mothers of Brothers Club a.k.a. M.O.B

From: Emily Mendell, club founder

Subject: Minutes from last meeting

The November meeting was held at 8:30 p.m. Wednesday so as not to interfere with traveling team soccer practice, guitar lessons, karate pickup, or Desperate Housewives.

Nutritional report:Following up on an October question - “Are they really that hungry, or are they just bored?” - we checked with member Dr. Shari Senzon of Strafford, who confirmed that it is perfectly safe to “close the kitchen” after 8 p.m. She guaranteed that our boys will not starve. She also acknowledged that consuming an entire meal one hour after consuming an entire meal is normal.

Research Committee update: A special thanks to Sue Butler of Lafayette Hill, who chaired this year’s research project: “Best Practices in Warnings.” This study found that the average number of times in which we plead, “Someone is going to get hurt” before someone actually does is 26. It was also revealed that while 92 percent of all members threaten not to take their sons to the emergency room if they continue such wild behavior, only half of 1 percent follow through. A full copy of the study is available upon request.

Ongoing education: We will be adding several new classes for the 2006 semester roster, including:

Advanced Conversational Pokemon

Lord of the Rings: A Cultural Journey Through Middle Earth

The Political Implications of Skateboarding

Snappy answers winners: We received more than 30 entries to last month’s Snappy Answers to Annoying Questions contest. As you may recall, the annoying question was, “So, are you going to ‘go for the girl?’ ”

The winning answers were:

3. “And have to pay for a wedding someday? Forget it!” from Jennifer Reynolds of Rose Valley.

2. “My husband might, but I’m done having children,” from Jeanne Metzger of Washington.

1. “Yes! In fact, even if it’s a boy, we are naming him Katie,” from Susan Callahan of Berwyn.

Congratulations to the winners. Next month’s question: “So, are you looking to form your very own basketball team?”

Upcoming mixer with Fathers of Daughters Club: After the successful event last year, we are looking forward to this year’s mixer, which swaps all sons with all daughters. Please sign up with F.O.D. president David Fine of Bryn Mawr. The fathers will be taking our boys to Spectrum Wrestling, the Flyers game or Home Depot. We have planned a lovely day for our guest daughters at the King of Prussia Mall, the spa, or a long reflective walk where we just talk and talk about our feelings. Early sign-ups to get your first choice of daughter and venue are encouraged.

Q&A session: We are looking for input to this month’s burning questions:

Is it OK to paint my son’s fingernails? What if he really WANTS me to?

At what age should I let my son go into a public men’s room without personally sweeping it for pedophiles?

Approval of M.O.B. credo: Lastly, the Executive Committee approved the following creed, which will be recited at the opening of each meeting effective immediately:

I, alone, am the Queen of my home. While they may not always understand me, let them know that my words and deeds come from a place in my heart that loves the little men in my life more than life itself. I promise to explore new opportunities, no matter how gross, to learn the ways of the male species, but I will never relinquish my femininity. Boys will be boys but as a Mommy of boys, I owe it to myself to transcend it all and protect the dignity which is rightfully mine.

New members are always welcome.

Today started quietly - the boys are all still too tired to get up early They were all just emerging by about 9 o’clock, except for Jack, who slept until nearly 10. After the breakfast/teeth/dressed routine they all did some work - times tables and RE for the oldest three, maths for Freddy, literacy and French for Barney and George, history for George, guitar for Barney (since I found his plectrum while tidying his room yesterday) and recorder for all. Lunch was soup and bread, and in the afternoon Barney did some ICT and he and George both blogged.

Barney made a special request for more home-made pizza for dinner, mainly because he wanted to make it himself. I rolled out the dough, but he did most of the rest of it - making the dough in the breadmaker and adding the toppings.

Scratchy arrived home late, having been on a course today, and sick. He did the usual martyr-thing: “oh I’m dying - but it’s okay, I’ll take them to ju-jitsu tonight…” until I more or less hit him over the head and sent him to bed. Went off to ju-jitsu with Barney, George and Toby; I’ve never taken them before (since Toby was born the day before they started), so it was interesting to see them in class.

They all appear to have finally fallen asleep - George and Freddy were talking loudly until a short time ago - and I’m not going to be far behind them

Scratchy’s alarm went off at 6.35 am, as usual. As usual, he got up, turned it off, and climbed back in bed. But unlike usual, he was still there six hours later

I’ll admit, I looked at the clock at 7.10, and realised he wasn’t up. And I’ll also admit that I hoped he’d sleep long enough that he could be convinced to call in sick. I’ve known him for over 17 years, and in that time he’s only ever called in sick once before today. When he woke and saw that it was after 8, I said “you’re sick, take a sick day” - and I knew by his lack of protest that he wasn’t really “all right” as he claimed. He did say “I can’t, I don’t know the phone number.” Have you ever heard a more stupid excuse for not taking a day off when you’re sick? No, I thought not. Anyway, it didn’t work - I dialled for him

The boys eventually got up shortly before 9, and hung out on our bed for a while, until George decided he was too old to believe in you-know-who and he just had to talk about it I was very rude and interrupted and spoke very loudly so nobody else could hear him, and sent the rest all down for breakfast so I could have a word with him. Freddy tried to hide down the side of the bed so he could listen in, but Jack spotted him and gave the game away Anyway, George is definitely a non-believer, so I ‘fessed up and explained that it’s a fun game and he could now join in with keeping it going for his younger brothers, and that made him happy because he’d thought he was going to get told off