NotSheep

No, not really At least, not us. All the other local kids are back now though, so it’s very quiet.

We have done some “schoolwork” (I hate calling it that, or even “work” - anyone have any better suggestions?) today - Barney and George have each done some maths, French and history, and Freddy has done some maths and some more of his book about animals (which is mainly literacy - reading, writing, comprehension, the odd wordsearch etc). I’ve mainly got frustrated at not being able to use both hands, since Toby wants to nurse constantly (which is fine, I’m not bothered by that in itself, it’s just that when I need to write something….:lol:). We were going to go out for a walk, but Jack planted himself on the couch and fell asleep, so that was that out. Maybe when he wakes up.

Gotta go - Toby has had his fill of Barney and wants back to me

According to this page, I have a “Gullibility Factor” score of 97 - which apparently means that on a scale of 0 to 100, where 0 is “mind slave” and 100 is “free thinker”, I score 97.

The thing is, there were three (out of 33) questions on which the answers I gave were not the same as the answers they gave. So how does that equate to 97 out of 100? Even allowing for weighting of questions, it doesn’t make sense. Anyway, in one case, the question was vague, in another I don’t believe their answer is accurate. On the third question on which we disagreed, I guessed, because I’d no idea. So I guessed wrong - which isn’t a marker of gullibility, but rather plain ignorance and bad luck.

Not only that, but the person whose blog I got the link from scored 91 out of 100, and the test said that was in the “top 5%”. Again, doesn’t make sense.

And wouldn’t having a high “Gullibility Factor” mean you were more gullible, rather than the other way around? I mean, shouldn’t low scores on this test mean you’re cynical, or alternatively shouldn’t it be called something like the “Scepticism Factor” (or, for the Americans, the “Skepticism Factor”)?

But what really doesn’t make sense is why the people who wrote the code for this did so using Microsoft Word. I mean, writing webpages using any MS product is bad enough - but Word?

You didn’t know there was a panic?

Oh that’s right, I didn’t blog - because I was too busy walking the streets trying to find my three-year-old! We were in a neighbour’s house, then we left and I stood chatting at the door for a minute, thinking Jack had gone back into our own house. Only he hadn’t. And was nowhere to be found. George and Freddy were playing in the garden at their friend’s house across the road, but Jack wasn’t with them. Barney rode the neighbourhood on his bike, but couldn’t find Jack. Our neighbours were about to go out, but they went back indoors to check in case Jack had gone back in; he hadn’t. And Scratchy was home, and in our house, and Jack hadn’t come in.

Eventually, just as I was about to raise the alarm, the car door opened, and Jack stepped out.

*%^#&%&*$

Yesterday he dropped our water-filter jug on the kitchen floor and it cracked, flooding the kitchen floor. So did Jack come and tell me? No. Did he get something to soak it up? No. What did he do? He went outside and pulled up handfuls of grass and tried to plant them in the water.

And Jack’s not the only one.

On Sunday night (yes, I know it’s Thursday, but I don’t often have two hands free to type, ok?) the boys were sleeping in their new bedroom for the second night. In the early hours, Freddy woke up and was doing that wail/whine thing that they do when they’re not quite crying but not awake enough to talk either. Scratchy turned on the hall light and went into the bedroom to find Freddy holding his crotch and running around the middle of the room in circles. He needed the bathroom, but couldn’t figure out how to get out of the room And after Scratchy had taken him to the bathroom, he walked out and stood at the top of the stairs in total confusion because he couldn’t figure out how to get back to bed either!

Never a dull moment.

One of our cats did not come home last night. They get let out after breakfast each day, and after that are pretty much free to wander in and out at will, unless we’re not home of course. After dinner, we call them in and feed them - but last night only Ginny arrived, no sign of Molly. We didn’t worry - sometimes one or other will be off being busy doing whatever it is that cats do - but when she wasn’t in by about 11, I started to get concerned. When she wasn’t in by 12.30, I went out and looked for her again, and even took the car to see if I could see her around the neighbourhood, but with no luck.

It’s now 7.40 am and she still hasn’t appeared. There are a number of possibilities - she could be shut in someone’s garage, or she could be getting fed by another family (actually we know that was happening before, so she might well be around their house, though I don’t think they took her inside, and they know she’s ours, so I hope they’d have let us know if they had - they only live two doors down). Or she might just be off on a hunting expedition. Or various other alternatives, of course, but I don’t want to think about those right now - especially since it’s less than a year since we lost Toffee, our first cat, to traffic.

So, come-back-Molly vibes would be appreciated.

When I was out calling her at about 9.30 last night, there was a young bloke who ran down the side path of a house on the other side of the street and tore off up the street as though running away from something. I didn’t recognise him, I didn’t hear a door close (as I probably would if he’d come out of a house), and the house I think he came from (might have been the next one along) is occupied by an elderly lady who lives alone. I watched for a minute and didn’t see anything else, but was a bit concerned in case he’d been trying to break in or something, so I went over and rang her doorbell to check she was okay. She was fine, and said she appreciated me coming to check, but I’m glad I did anyway. I was thinking I wouldn’t sleep if I was worrying about her, but of course then I didn’t sleep much anyway because I was worrying about Molly *sigh*.

No news of Molly. We went out at about 9.30 this morning and looked for her - and at one point we thought we’d found her, more or less where we last saw her, but down in the ditch - but the miaowing turned out to be another cat (who, after five minutes of me beating my way through the brambles, climbed out of the ditch and walked off).

Came home, Toby was fast asleep in the stroller so I decided to start mowing the lawn. Barney kept an eye on Toby for me, with instructions to come and tell me as soon as he woke. Toby was very cooperative, and I managed to get both front and back lawns cut - in fact I was just putting the lawnmower away when he woke. Fed him, fed the others, and went back out to look for Molly again.

We’ve spoken to a few neighbours, all of whom know her and like her, but nobody remembers seeing her since yesterday. I was hoping she might reappear this evening, but she hasn’t. Not sure what to think really. Really really hope she comes back though

Did a bit of work with the boys on our return - Barney did some maths (great fun for me, because I never did quite grasp trigonometry myself and now I’m trying to explain it to him) and practised both recorder and guitar, George did maths and recorder, and Freddy did more of his animals book. Jack fell asleep at about 3pm - so he’s still bouncing about now (8.35 pm). Toby was a bit unsettled for most of the afternoon, so when I got to the oh-you-can’t-want-to-nurse-again stage I took him outside and we wandered up and down the street watching the others on their bikes.

Scratchy came home, we ate, George had a tantrum and broke the bin (a Brabantia one - they are spendy but worth every penny), fortunately Scratchy fixed it, now they’re all in bed since it’s an early start tomorrow (swimming lessons start at 8.30).

That’s what the note on my bed this morning said Barney went downstairs this morning and said “I’ll just try calling her again, just in case” - and he did, and she walked in. Guess who’s been the recipient of many cuddles since

A few quotes from this report from the BBC:

“Trainee teachers are having to resit basic tests in maths, English and IT two or more times, figures have shown.”

“Of the 31,206 candidates in 2004, 2-3% had to take numeracy, literacy or information and communication technology exams more than twice.

The Teacher Training Agency (TTA) figures show a handful of people had to sit them 10 times.”

“They have been criticised by one teaching union as unnecessary because trainee teachers must have GCSE maths and English.

The tests were introduced in 2000. In 2001, a limit on the number of times a candidate could take them was abolished.”

“A TTA spokeswoman said of the results: “It may have been fifteen years since a trainee teacher has studied subjects such as maths and English so it’s important that people prepare well and refresh their skills.”

In summary, significant numbers of trainee teachers don’t have basic skills in core academic subjects. And teaching unions don’t think they should have to.

Remember that the next time a teaching union calls for monitoring of home-educators because parents are somehow ‘not qualified’ to teach their children.

This piece is titled, A classroom revolution unfolds

Referring to the news that teachers are to get more planning-time, it says:

“The workforce reforms are seen by ministers as a prerequisite for a bigger change to the teaching and learning in schools. It goes by the name of “personalisation”. This is the buzzword in government policy circles.

The “personalised curriculum” is one where teaching and programmes of study are tailored to suit each individual child.”

Hm. Sounds a lot like home-education.

“It requires careful monitoring of each pupil’s progress, week by week and term by term. It means collecting and analysing data of performance in reading, writing, maths and other subjects.”

I don’t formally collect and analyse data on my children’s progress, but home-education inherently involves what could be called ‘careful monitoring of progress’. Doing it formally isn’t necessary, because I don’t have 30 kids to keep tabs on, and I don’t get a new bunch of 30 unknowns every year.

It also requires that teachers have the time to check each child’s progress, to diagnose their needs, and to devise the best teaching plan.”

Still sounds a lot like home-ed.

“They will also have to make this information more readily available to parents who, in turn, will be encouraged to demand the appropriate action plan for their child.”

Information about my children’s learning is already “readily available” to me (because I’m with them most of the time) and their father (because he can ask us any time he wants).

“Yet that is not all. This “personalised curriculum” also requires a new form of teaching. It cannot work if the class teacher is standing at the front of the room all day long.”

Absolutely. My experience shows me that doing stuff with my kids is far better than standing in front of them talking at them.

“Instead the teacher becomes a facilitator. Like a bespoke tailor they measure, design and plan each child’s educational suit. They will set work, monitor progress, and assess outcomes.”

Sounds more and more like home-ed to me. Not all home-educators “set work” (we do, but it’s certainly not a requirement), but you can’t help but “monitor progress” and “assess outcomes” when you’re with your children for large chunks of time.

“While they are doing all this, someone else has to be the constant presence in the classroom. Someone else has to prepare the classroom wall displays. Someone else has to collect the dinner money or do the photocopying.”

Thank goodness I don’t have to worry about collecting dinner money and doing photocopying

“It is a potentially radical step-change to teaching”

It might be radical in classrooms, as the title says, but it’s not radical to those of us who home-ed - we’ve been doing it for years!

Barney, George and Freddy went off for their first swimming-lesson yesterday (well, not their first ever, except for Freddy, but their first for a while). They’re registered for the 8.30 am class - no more lie-ins on Saturdays for a while! Scratchy took them, and they all came back bouncy and saying it was great

Then Scratchy went off to his tutorial and left us to it. Toby was in permanently-attached-to-the-breast mode, and he’s not quite got the knack of nursing without me holding everything in place yet, so there wasn’t much I could do but sit there and feed him. I don’t mind that, but I do think the others sometimes take advantage of it - they know I can’t get up and intervene, so they try to get away with stuff…I’m kind of “get off the counter….get off the counter now!…if you don’t get off that counter, I’ll….I’ll…I’ll tell you again to get off the counter!” Parenting by remote control…hmmm…not always successful!

They did a bit of work around lunchtime (I know, on a Saturday - I’m an absolute slave-driver!) Barney did some French, geography and Latin and practiced guitar, George did French, maths and Latin, and Freddy did more of his animals book as well as English and science. Jack got out his “books” (ie some activity and colouring books) as usual, and insisted on me looking at every scribble in detail. Oh, and looked for circles in Freddy’s books.

They went off out to play not long after Scratchy got home. He was grumpy for most of the day; I don’t know why he thinks joining in will improve matters when the kids squabble! Anyway, I figured the tutorial hadn’t gone well, and asked - he said it had been okay and then told me all the reasons it hadn’t been okay But he sat down last night and did one of his assignments, which are computer-marked so he usually gets his result immediately, and when I woke up this morning he told me, in a very resigned sort of voice, that he’d completed it. “And?” I said. “And…I got 90%” he said, trying to suppress a grin. So maybe he’ll be cheerier today

Barney says Molly didn’t go out at all today, Scratchy says she did - but either way, I don’t think she went far. She seems pretty worn-out. We’ve no idea where she was for the past couple of nights; I suppose we never will. We’re just glad she’s home

Loads of stuff this week.

Yesterday was spent catching up on bits and pieces that should have been done ages ago - minor things like life insurance on the mortgage. Still hasn’t been posted though!

Today we had a Not-Going-Back-To-School-Picnic at a really great playground. Must admit I had my doubts when it poured all night and most of the morning - I had visions of me sitting there in the rain all afternoon trying to look cheerful and saying “it’ll clear up in five minutes!” - but the rain stopped shortly before we got there, and by the time some other families arrived, there were actually patches of blue sky. It never got very sunny, but it was definitely warm, the rain stayed off all afternoon, and the kids all seemed to have a great time. Pity we all forgot to take photos! Most of my kids fell asleep in the car on the way home, and the one who didn’t was definitely fighting the urge

Barney and George have gone off to ju-jitsu this evening, with Freddy in tow to watch. Tomorrow Freddy starts his new Beavers group, and there’s a camera club meeting if Barney is still interested (he was a few months ago, but hasn’t mentioned it in a while). If the arts centre that hosts the circus skills classes ever gets their act together, those will be happening on Tuesdays too, starting in a couple of weeks (and working out pickups etc is going to be interesting - one car, two locations, 30 miles apart…) On Wednesday the Archery Club starts up again, so that’s Barney, George and Freddy - and a friend of theirs who’s coming along. On the way home, I’ll be dropping off the friend, picking up Scratchy from work, then dropping George at Cubs - so will have to remember to bring something for George to eat en route, as he doesn’t cope well with hunger. Then it’s home with everyone else, and back an hour-and-a-half later for George, and to drop off Barney at Scouts, then back an hour-and-a-half after that to pick him up.

Thursday is quiet this week, but Freddy starts a dance and movement class next Thursday. It’s a fantastic class - not formal at all and great fun - that he went to before. Then on Friday Barney is off to soccer school - which we have to co-ordinate somehow with Scratchy’s playing-five-a-side-football with some people from work. And on Saturday it’s swimming lessons again….

Yep, I’m a taxi-driver.

No! It can’t be Thursday already!

But somehow, it is.

Okay, so how did we get here?

On Tuesday, we spent the day at home, kids did some work, I spent the day feeding Toby and trying to manage everything else one-handed. Call it what you will, the process that resulted in the design of the human being went completely wrong when it didn’t arrange for new mothers to grow extra arms. It might even have been a good idea to provide one extra arm for each child. By now I’d have seven arms…yeah, that would just about keep me on top of things, I think.

Freddy went to his new Beavers pack on Tuesday night and had a good time. I had to hurriedly pin on all his old badges because I had never got to actually sewing them on (despite having had them since April - see above paragraph re not-enough-hands issue, and add in that I’m really, really bad at sewing and also hate doing it - I can knit anything, but even sewing on buttons often defeats me). Some of his badges will be replaced when he joins this pack properly - his district badge and his pack badge will be new, and I’ll move the old ones down his sleeve to below the new ones - so truthfully, it would have been a waste of time to sew them on. Also, I always use that iron-on stuff first so the badges stay straight while I sew (because otherwise we get lots of…um…jaunty angles) and it leaves a horrible sticky residue if you have to take them off, so it was much better just to pin them on for now. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking (no pun intended) to it.

Yesterday morning they did some more work, but the afternoon was busy. Wednesdays are going to be like that, it seems. Barney, George and Freddy have archery from 4.30 to 5.30. They can’t go to the earlier class at 3.30, because we’re taking another boy - friend of theirs and son of a friend of mine - with us, and he’s in school until 3 pm. So we registered for the 4.30 class. The problem is that the archery club is about 40 minutes away. (There are other clubs which are closer to us, but they don’t take children until they’re at least 12 years old, plus this club is a/ excellent and b/ incredibly cheap). The timing isn’t a problem for getting there, but it makes getting back a bit tight, because George has Cubs starting at 6.30, and in between archery and Cubs, I have to drop off the other kid and pick up Scratchy - which involves doubling back on myself, because there isn’t room in the car for Scratchy until we’ve dropped off the friend. And then we have to get to Cubs - we arrived at about 6.33 yesterday. I stayed there with George while Scratchy took everyone else home (except Tom, he stayed with me) and made dinner, then came back at 8 pm, we all went home except for Barney, who has Scouts from 8-9.30, then Scratchy went back to pick up Barney. If I wasn’t staying at Cubs, one of us could do the 8 pm run alone - but since I’m supposed to be a Leader for at least one group, that’s not going to happen. Will have to think about this one some more.

George enjoyed Cubs; most of the other boys are head-and-shoulders taller than he is but he didn’t seem bothered They all started working towards their Athletics badge. Barney enjoyed Scouts too, and has come home with a note about Camp already - I’d forgotten that Scouts camp quite a bit more than Cubs. His old Cub pack didn’t get to camp this year at all, so they’re camping at the end of September instead, and all the newly-ex-Cubs are invited back, so Barney will be camping for two weekends in a row - the first with old Cubs, the second with new Scouts. He’s thrilled. Scratchy’s jealous. I did mention to Scratchy that if he got himself warranted (i.e. became a proper Leader instead of just someone who hangs out and helps), he’d be able to camp too - that might be the deciding factor for him, as it’s definitely his side that Barney gets his love of camping from

We also made it to the library today (before all the busy-ness) and left with a Sainsbury box piled high with books and a few audio-books. Barney will probably have read everything he borrowed by this time tomorrow, and will then start reading everything I borrowed…that might keep him busy until the weekend…

Off to visit friends today if I can ever put Toby down long enough to get dressed.

You’d think I’d remember this stuff by the fifth baby, but I forgot all of it.

The head-bopping as they try, in a panic, to find your nipple. How they smile and laugh in their sleep. How your milk lets down when they make cute little gurgling noises.

How much you’d give if they’d only go back to sleep when it’s 3 am and they’ve woken you in the middle of a sleep-cycle.

How you can totally forgive them for it when they give you a huge smile - even at 3.47 am.

How lovely it is to watch the interactions between the baby and the older siblings

Toby was one month old this week, and is “waking up” - spending more time awake and watchful, making his feelings known more vociferously ;-), looking around him more, vocalising more. He’s got a fabulous huge smile

The others - well, they’ve been tremendously cooperative today, mainly because I read them the riot act yesterday. We were heading for a friend’s house, but by 11 am they still hadn’t done half of what they were supposed to have done. So I told them that from now on we didn’t go anywhere or do anything until the morning routines were done - and that if I had to remind them too many times, we wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything anyway. This morning, morning routines were completed by 9 am and they were asking what chores they could do around the house. Nice to know they listen sometimes

We went to friend’s yesterday, adults had a good natter, kids ran about and wore themselves out. Today we spent at home - the kids did some work: Barney struggled a bit with some geometry but finally got there (and it was fairly difficult stuff, stuff he’d not be learning for about another four years in school); George gave some French half his attention, then did some geography and some maths, and Freddy has been whipping through English books at quite a pace. Jack is doing lots of counting and recognising shapes etc.

Scratchy took the older three swimming tonight - our local pool has a family fun type thingy on Friday evenings, with slides and monster-floats and stuff. We promised them last week that if they all worked really hard in their swimming-lesson, we’d take them swimming during the week for practice. Well, it got to Friday and we still hadn’t…so off they went this evening. Jack would have gone too, but he was in do-the-opposite-of-everything mode today (you all know what I mean!) so I said he had to stay home. The others got back a little while ago and appear to have had a good time. They’ll be back in the water in less than 12 hours, for their next lesson.

Snippet of conversation with Freddy tonight:
Freddy: Can you take bits of dead people and attach them to people who are still alive?
Me: Well, yes, some bits - doctors can take bits of people who’ve died and put them in other people - like hearts and livers.
Freddy (with huge grin): I want a doctor to get two breasts off a dead woman and attach them to me.
Me (bemused): Why?
Freddy: So I can nurse Toby!

Those who know George well will be familiar with his tendency to collect things - stones, toys, markers, leaves, whatever. If it fits in a pocket, George will collect it - and therefore his pockets are nearly always full (to the point where it’s causing his trousers to fall down). So this question from George - made in a completely genuine and curious voice - will raise a few smiles from our friends: “What are pockets for?”

Last blogged on Friday evening, so will try to remember what we’ve done since then!

Scratchy had an assignment due and has exams coming up, so I cleared off out of the house with the boys for the day on Saturday. We had to leave early - swimming lessons start at 8.30. That was a bit of a challenge, I must admit - getting them all ready and out for that time. I haven’t a clue how people do it for school every morning!

After swimming we ran a few errands and ended up in a mall - way too hot and way too busy for my taste. I hate shopping on Saturdays, and neither Toby nor I was very happy to be in an overheated stuffy shopping centre, so that was a short visit. While there we ran into friends, J and her kids J and M, who took pity on us and invited us back to their house ;-). We left the mall and I did a quick visit to a pet shop* and then we gratefully headed to J’s house for some air and a drink and a chance for the kids to run about and me to sit down and natter

*Pet Shop - for a while we’ve been talking about getting fish, so I was looking at aquariums and fish and getting advice. I had thought a cold-water tank would be easier - no heater etc - but having talked to people, it seems that involves just as much water changing etc as a warm-water tank, and tropical fish are generally hardier - and there’s certainly more variety available for a warm-water tank. On Sunday, I checked out another pet shop, where the staff weren’t as interested or as well-informed as the first one, but where they did have the same tank for sale at a tenner less. I bought the tank there, but will return to the first shop to get the fish. The tank has now been set up and running since Sunday evening, and today’s plan calls for getting the water tested to see if we can add the first fish or two - possibly zebra danios since I’m advised they are hardy and can cope with the whole water cycling business you have to do to prepare a tank. A week ago, I knew nothing about all of this stuff, now I’m using the jargon - but it’s a steep learning curve! Any experts reading this? - your input would be gratefully received!

Also sorted through clothes for the kids on Sunday, put away their shorts and tried to find jeans and sweats to fit all. Barney has no sweat-pants that fit, and had a bit of a hissy fit about having to wear jeans. Like father, like son - both would live in jersey-shorts if they could, with maybe a pair of sweats for when the temperature drops below -20!

Monday…um…oh, yeah, stayed at home and tried to catch up on stuff. Did the child benefit form, finished the life insurance form, wrote cheques for the two camps Barney is going on shortly, finally addressed the envelope to pay the homeopath for the remedy that got Toby shifted into the right position for birth, did the finances on the computer (hm on that…), tried to sort out work for the kids for the next couple of weeks. Toby has decided he wants to be in my arms constantly - he doesn’t even want Scratchy or Barney to hold him - and this makes it a bit difficult! I’d wear him in a wrap, but he doesn’t want to be facing in - he wants to see the world! - and the wraps I have don’t allow for him to face outwards yet, so I’m operating one-handed. Typing as quickly as possible at the minute because he’s asleep on the bed beside me

The two oldest were supposed to have ju-jitsu last night, but when they got there they found a sign saying it was cancelled - I expect this is because of the rioting *sigh*. Since it all kicked off again last night, I’m expecting Beavers to be cancelled tonight too, and possibly Cubs and Scouts tomorrow. It seems that everyone who could finish work early yesterday did so - Scratchy says there was a mass exodus from his offices at 4pm (he works in a small industrial area surrounded by several areas where this kind of stuff usually occurs - and indeed the end of the road his company is on was one of the worst areas on the weekend - cars hijacked and torched, buildings burned to the ground etc). Lots of places closed early yesterday, because everyone wanted to be home early, and all those responsible for properties in iffy areas wanted them locked up and battened down before anything started. We’re fortunate to live in a very quiet area, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect us - we have to re-think where we’re going, how we’re getting there, whether we’ll go at all…and even when all of that is do-able, stuff gets cancelled (like last night). I’ll have to think about tomorrow - we’ve got archery, and even if we come home directly afterwards (instead of Cubs/Scouts), we’ll be away until 6.30, which is a bit late in this kind of atmosphere, believe it or not *sigh again*.

Had a fight with Scratchy last night about the printer - well, about the fact that the home network doesn’t work. We can’t turn on the pcs, because they cut off the internet connection, but we need one of them on in order to print. Except that yesterday neither of them would turn on anyway, and even when we got one turned on, it still wasn’t visible from my laptop - and then, when it became visible, I couldn’t access it because the “server service is not started”. Scratchy thinks I’m a harridan for getting cross about this, I think I’ve been extremely patient waiting for four months for it to be sorted out! Still…I did kind of lose it with him last night - fatigue, frustration and a much-too-long to-do list all came together and burst out. I still wish he’d get on with it though

(I’m also cross with him because he insists on shutting the cats in the kitchen overnight. I don’t know why he thinks this is necessary - I know he doesn’t really like them, but they have the run of the house all day - I’m not trying to keep doors shut all day! I can’t see what the point in shutting them up is. They used to like to sleep on the kids’ beds, and the kids liked that, and I have no problem with it - and they don’t come near our bed at all, in fact they rarely even come into our room in the evenings and never overnight. I’ve tried leaving the door open, but Scratchy won’t actually go upstairs until after I’ve gone, just so he can shut them in the kitchen! It’s all a bit ridiculous imo…)

Jack has been…well, I don’t honestly know how to describe it. I suppose it’s all attention-seeking - he’s no longer the baby of the family, and of course Toby does take up a lot of my time and energy. Jack loves Toby, but is obviously looking for more attention for himself. While I know this is the reason for his constant arguing, constantly winding up his brothers, constantly doing everything he’s told not to, refusing to do the things he’s told to do…there’s a limit to how much I can do about it right now. I mean, I can spend five minutes with him while Scratchy looks after Tom, but then Tom wants me back and the five minutes just isn’t enough for Jack. Just hoping we can hang in there until things are easier (soon, I hope!)

In other news, I may have lost ten pounds without trying. Weight, not money. Or it may be that the scales are stuffed. I weighed Toby a couple of weeks ago - using the me-on-scales-with-then-without-him method - and they said he weighed three pounds. Now they say he weighs ten. So yeah, they’re probably stuffed, and I’m probably fatter than ever.

And where has everyone gone? I haven’t had any comments on here in ages

We’ve lost a fish

Stripey, the zebra danio, is no more. (I’m tempted to go into a whole Monty Python thing here, but I’ll resist.)

George, the stripes-lover, is upset.

The water in the tank is fine, I checked the levels of everything yesterday evening, but this morning Stripey was lying on his (her?) back on the gravel at the bottom.

So I suppose we’ll be visiting the pet shop again this afternoon. Danios are shoaling fish, apparently, so they need to have companions, and I don’t want to lose the (unnamed) leopard danio too.

That’s what I am. Or maybe that’s what I need. I’m exhausted :~/

On Monday, the boys did some work and we tidied up a bit. After dinner, Scratchy took Barney and George to Ju-jitsu, and took Freddy and Jack to buy a few groceries.

Today - well! 5.30 - Barney and George to Circus Skills in our old town (30-40 minutes away). 6.30 - Freddy to Beavers near where we live now. 7 - Barney and George to be picked up. 7.30 - Freddy to be picked up. Also 7.30 - Barney to be dropped off at St John Cadets, also near where we live now but not near where Beavers happens.

Cadets didn’t happen - we couldn’t find the hall, it was getting dark, and Toby was crying. We’ll suss out the location during the day before next week.

Two parents could manage this quite easily if they each had a car, but we’ve got one car, and all of the aforementioned (except possibly Cadets) are too far to walk or cycle. We’ll have to figure out something easier though - although the timing worked out fine tonight, it was just too much driving (for Toby and for me).

When we went to the library a couple of weeks ago, we borrowed several audio books - and I’m glad we did, for we seem to have spent a lot of time in the car recently.

Yesterday involved about a zillion errands (or at least it felt that way), including a trip to the city centre - eurgh. Parking costs about four times what it did five years ago, and that’s assuming you can even find a space. After driving around the same few blocks about seven times, I finally got lucky and someone left a space on the street (parking meter) in front of me, so I nipped* in there. I’d really rather take public transport into the city, but since a) it would cost even more than driving and parking, and b) the train-line I’d need to use has been closed for months for maintenance work, and strollers and buses don’t go together in my experience. Anyway, paid a bill, went to the Scout Shop to get uniforms for Barney and George, who’ve both moved up into new divisions this year, and bits of necessary camping gear for Barney for this weekend. Then off to buy more beans to continue filling beanbags. Dropped beans at home (so as to have room in the car for later), then we went to the library. After that, picked up friend’s son, took him and my lot to archery. Then back to drop him off at home, pick up Scratchy, take George to Cubs and come home for dinner. Told Scratchy he was doing the rest of the driving for the evening - ie picking up George and dropping off and picking up Barney.

(*nipped in - bearing in mind that this is a busy city street with parking spaces laid out for little tiny cars, and that the street is a narrow one originally designed for people, not even horses and carts, and that there were cars parked on both sides of it, and that I drive a people-carrier - “nipping” might be the wrong choice of verb here.)

The friend who normally takes Freddy to dance class wasn’t teaching today, so I had to take him instead. Again, this involves getting into the city - not the very centre, but another very busy traffic area. While I was getting the kids out of the car, another parent from the class arrived - she gave birth just a week ago, and her baby has the same name as mine :-D. After the class, I picked up Scratchy from work and we came home. I fed Toby while Scratchy cooked dinner, and we had the following conversation about being broody:

Me: Do you remember S, from dance class?
Scratchy: Yes.
Me: She had her baby, they were there today, he’s just a week old.
Scratchy: How’s he doing?
Me: Great. He’s lovely.
Scratchy: (silence)
Me: That question you don’t want to ask - the answer is yes, I am.
Scratchy: Well, we’ll give it a while and see.

…at which point I had to clutch the table to stop myself from falling off my seat. A minute or six later, I gathered myself enough to say, “Huh????”, to which Scratchy replied “Well, I want whatever you want.”

This all took place about three hours ago - I’m still not over the shock. I’ve said “this is the last” fairly consistently over the last few months, there have still been moments when I’ve thought, oh, I really want to do this again - and, to be honest, more frequent moments when I’ve thought, I don’t want to do all of it again, but I do want more children - but Scratchy has been absolutely consistent, and absolutely adamant, that he did not want any more. And I was certain that if I decided I really did want to have another baby, I’d have no chance of convincing Scratchy anyway. Which, in a way, made it easier for me to say “I’m done” - because there was no point in considering anything else, if you see what I mean.

Now? I’m just completely confused. About 40% of me says “oooh, I want more babies!”. The other 60% is more sensible. 100% of me, however, says “I want a big family” (yes, I know most people think five kids is kind of a big family, but I want bigger :lol:).

I know I do not want to be pregnant and exhausted for months again - and being pregnant is kind of a necessary part of the whole birthing thing So if we are to have more kids, I definitely want to be in much better shape, both healthwise and in terms of being physically fit, before getting pregnant again, in the hope that that will make a difference. But that’s a big “if”.

Oh, and one of the fish got a bit of a shock this evening too, when I did a water change and managed to fling him (her?) on the floor. It took us about 20 seconds to spot it, and I just went “argh”, but fortunately Barney is a bit less squeamish than me and picked it up and dropped it back in the tank. Hope it’s still alive in the morning….

Four fish still alive this morning - check (and phew, ’cause if one had been dead this morning, I’d have got the blame after dropping it on the floor last night, even if it hadn’t been the same one).

Two cats - only one came in last night, but the other reappeared this morning - check.

Five kids - hey, I’m finally managing to count to five! - check.

How am I doing?

Barney got up in tremendous form this morning. At about 10.30, he told me he was having a great day. I pointed out that it might have something to do with his attitude. The attitude is due to the fact that he’s going camping tonight, and he’s very happy about that. So he did some French and practiced his guitar, changed the kitty-litter and made an early lunch (pasta bake) for everyone, since breakfast was nearly non-existent. George woke up grumpy but cheered up (maybe Barney was infectious?). He did some history and played his recorder. Freddy did more of his book about animals; his reading is improving by the day. His handwriting is improving too, but I suspect he’ll be like Barney, in that handwriting will never be a natural skill for him, plus he’s got to deal with being left-handed too.

Toby is the smiliest baby in the world He generally sleeps from about 10 until 6.30ish, only waking up once in that time to nurse. He’s becoming a bit more predictable - I can usually hazard a guess at what he’ll be doing in half an hour’s time, which simplifies things, even if it does make for some oddly-timed meals And he can count to two - he gets very cross if I try to fob him off with only one breast

Barney has been at Cub Camp since Friday evening - Scratchy dropped him off, then went back yesterday to camp with them last night. Other helper-dad who camped with them on Friday night slightly peeved to discover that Saturday night’s forecast was four degrees higher than Friday’s

Barney has the world’s biggest backpack, he can just about manage to move once it’s on his back. He has several changes of clothes, despite the fact that he probably won’t actually change any item of clothing unless he falls in a river or something. He looks very grown-up. This isn’t his first Cub Camp, but somehow this time he seems so much older. Goodness knows what it will be like when he camps with Scouts next weekend - he’ll probably look about 40

Mollycat didn’t come in again on Friday night…hmm. Dirty little stop-out I refused to let her go out yesterday after about 4pm. She went out first thing this morning; I’m hoping this way she’ll be tired and hungry enough to come in and stay in this evening! In other animal-news, we got more fish yesterday - two more danios (one leopard, one zebra) and four mollies (mollys? dunno). Two of the mollies are silver (which means they look sort-of shimmery white), two are black (they look like black velvet). They’re all still alive this morning, and the aquarium is looking pretty good :-). We also made pictures to stick on the back of our aquarium as a background, using black paper and drawing on plants with crayons and then using gel-pens to add shimmery bits and pretend-fish. Will try to get to sticking them on later today, and will take a photo if I can figure out how to do it through the glass.

George, Freddy and Jack have gone to play outside, and Toby is asleep beside me. We’re upstairs, so I can’t leave him alone and go and clean up the kitchen. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it

Well - five days anyway. It’s been a busy week. It’s not so much that we’ve been doing lots of things, more that there just doesn’t seem to have been much time left over for things like writing down what we did!

The “big boys” (aka Scratchy and Barney) got back from camping on Sunday, Barney in happy-happy-I-had-a-great-time mode, Scratchy grumpy because the clutch on the car was acting up (he takes it personally). Despite not having much sleep over the weekend (surprise surprise), Barney read late into the night on Sunday and, as a result, was exhausted and miserable all day on Monday. He even decided not to go to ju-jitsu on Monday night because he was so tired, and we bribed George to stay home too. Scratchy tried all day to get hold of our mechanic, but had no success, so on Tuesday I drove out to find out what was going on. It turned out his phone wasn’t working, but of course there was no way he could look at the car on Tuesday, so we had to book it in for Thursday. We spent the rest of the day not accomplishing much of anything - started with plans to shop for hiking boots and sweats for Barney, but the stress of one cranky baby, several uncooperative other children, too many people and shops and not enough space around me got to me in the end (well, okay, after about ten minutes), so we ended up dropping in on friends in the hope that they’d provide tea and sympathy. We did drop by Lidl, where, it turned out, they were selling hiking boots - happy coincidence This is unusual - usually Lidl puts things on special the week after I need them

Tuesday night was Community Circus for Barney and George, and Beavers for Freddy - I hung out at Beavers with Toby and Jack in order to avoid sitting in the car for a further hour, while Scratchy picked up Barney and George. Then it was home for dinner and bed.

On Wednesday the boys caught up on the work they didn’t do on Tuesday, and then later we’d archery, Cubs, Scouts etc. We failed (again) to find the hall where St John Cadets is held - I think perhaps the HQ has told us the wrong location! Barney wasn’t pleased about missing it for another week.

On Thursday Scratchy took the car in, then got the train and bus back to work - which took over two hours. Freddy went to dance class with our friend J (the teacher), who has problems with her car door at the minute (ie it’s held on with string! so Barney went with them so she could park, and he sat in the car with a pile of books while J taught the class. It doesn’t take much convincing to get Barney to sit in peace with a pile of books

Today, so far, we’ve done some tidying-up, the boys have done some work and Toby has refused to sleep. He’s lying beside me now making very cute little nearly-eight-week-old-baby noises