NotSheep

Okay, this is an official eviction order, baby. I have had it with being pregnant. I am tired of it taking three shipyard cranes to get me turned over in bed. I am tired of having to get up 15 times a night to pee. I am tired of waking at 5.20 am every day, finding myself unable to go back to sleep, and then being ready to crash out again by 10am. I am tired of only being able to eat three mouthfuls of food before I feel stuffed, only to feel starving again 45 minutes later. I am tired of heartburn so severe I feel like I can’t breathe. I am also tired of what goes on at the other end of my digestive system. I am tired of having to ask for help to hang out the laundry because every time I bend over to pick something out of the basket, I almost fall over. I am tired of not being able to reach stuff in cupboards because my huge bump gets in the way. I am tired of going “oh!” because the Braxton-Hicks are pretty strong, while knowing that it’s meaningless. Barney is tired of carrying heavy stuff for me and is ready to hold a baby while I carry heavy stuff instead.

I have washed most of the nappies, the cover from the infant carseat borrowed from my friend T, enough clothes and baby-towels to see you through your first couple of weeks of life on the outside. I have sorted it all into neat stacks and put it away in one of those wire-drawer set thingies that Ikea sells. It’s all sitting there, lovely and tidy, freshly-laundered. Won’t you come out and see?

The birthing pool has been inflated for a couple of weeks and we’ve done two trial runs on filling it. Okay, so neither trial run was perfect, but I think we’re close enough now that we can manage.

I’m ready for you to come out and meet us. The only front on which I do not feel completely ready is that I’m not entirely settled about the names we have chosen. But we can work that out later.

So how much notice do I need to give? According to that ticker-thing at the bottom of the page, I have nine days before your arrival. Must we wait that long?

*Sigh* - yes, I know, we probably must. And we probably have another couple of weeks after that too. And no, I won’t do anything to induce labour (though one or two of the traditional methods look good right now, but I think that’s hormones).

My prediction? July 31st. About 8 lbs 4 oz. Gender? No idea, and don’t care.

Now watch me stay pregnant until September.